Running Away
by Mandolin Reign
Summary: Crossover with Law & Order SVU. Sara leaves Vegas, and Grissom, carrying a secret to New York. She knows she will never stop loving him, but can she move on with her life? Complete. GSR & John/Casey
1. Chapter 1

**Running Away**

Chapter 1

_AN: This is a crossover with Law & Order SVU. It takes place after 'Way to Go' and follows a possible course of events if a certain situation arose. Intrigued? I hope so. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU._

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Sara sat down at her computer with her morning coffee, as her one-year-old son, Alex sat playing with a few toys. Sesame Street was on the television, but most of his attention went to the blocks he was putting in a bucket and then just as methodically taking out again. She smiled at her little one, hardly believing how big he was getting. She was already missing the tiny helpless infant he had been not very long ago.

After her computer powered up, she clicked the icon that would take her to the World Wide Web. With the exception of work it was her only connection to the world around her. Twenty-seven messages awaited her, but once she deleted the garbage only five of interest were left. One immediately caught her attention, an email from Nick. She and Nick, Greg, and Warrick had occasionally kept in touch since Sara had moved to Manhattan. A huge smile graced her face as she opened it.

_Sara,  
__You're national news girl! The guys and I caught you in the background of the news conference about the Central Park serial rapist/murderer being caught. I assume you had something to do with that - nice work! Of course it is not a surprise that you would be successful there, just like here. We miss you. Any chance you'll be moving back soon? You know I have to ask!  
__Be careful,  
__Nick_

She quickly hit the reply button.

_Nick,  
__You would be the one to pick me out of a crowd! It was a long hard one, but we got him. In fact that is why I am home now. Once again I'm pulling in too much OT so those of us who have been on endless hours since this started are off today. We are going out for dinner later to celebrate, but for now just some down time. It is so good to hear from you!  
__Hi to all,  
__Sara_

She spent a few minutes just surfing the web, but when nothing caught her attention she decided to clean up Alex's breakfast chaos. Then spent the rest of the morning just being Alex's mommy, a role she never expected to love quite so much.

When he went down for his nap, Sara decided it was time for a long hot shower before Anya, Alex's Nanny, arrived. At first Sara had tried enrolling Alex in daycare, but her crazy schedule made it difficult, she eventually hired Anya to care for him. Anya was a retired kindergarten teacher who never had children of her own. She was probably sixty, but you would think that she was in her thirties with the energy she had. Sara never thought of her as old, just older than Sara. She was incredible with Alex and she did not mind Sara's hectic schedule. The best part was that she lived just down the hall, so last minute calls to work were nearly easily handled.

As she continued to get ready, her mind wondered back nearly two years prior.

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_She had never been this nervous in her life. She had taken the job on a whim, she needed a viable excuse to leave Las Vegas, to leave the only man she had ever truly loved, but she was not going to be the one to force him into something he was not ready to face. She wasn't even sure how she would do this, but for the child growing inside her she sure as hell was going to try._

_She had left her apartment still filled with unpacked boxes that morning. As soon as she walked in the door of the lab, half an hour early of course, she was given a case. _

_Tony Ciminelli, her new supervisor greeted her with the information, "Sidle right?"_

"_Yes, ah Sara's fine."_

"_Sara, I'm Tony your direct supervisor. Sorry there is not anytime to let you get acquainted with the lab, but we are busy today and I need you with me. There should be a fully stocked kit in your locker. Here's the combination." He handed her a piece of paper as he continued, "We leave in two minutes."_

"_I'll be right back," It seemed that just like in Vegas and San Francisco before it, New York criminals liked to hit all at once some days. Ninety seconds later Sara met Tony in the entry way to the lab._

"_Punctual, I like that," he gave her a friendly wink. Sara smiled in reply._

_She arrived at the scene ready to work; her kit stocked, and as Warrick would say 'her game tight'. She shook the nostalgia from her head, she had work to do. Tony walked ahead of her, "Sara, these are Detectives Munch and Tutuola. John, Fin, this is Sara Sidle our newest Criminalist." They exchanged handshakes and pleasantries and then got right to work. _

"_Careful it is brutal in there." Detective Tutuola called to her as she entered the room._

"_Could be worse," she casually replied as she took in the room before her. An elderly woman and man lay naked, covered in blood, and dead._

_A few hours later the detectives were long gone and Tony and Sara were finishing up the scene. "Well that's all we are going to get for now. Let's head back to the lab and I'll show you the 'how's', 'where's', and 'who's' of our lab."_

"_Sounds good," Sara replied._

_They spent the ride back in casual conversation. Tony asked about her previous experience and Vegas. He seemed impressed with her education and experience. Then he filled her in on the New York City Crime Lab._

_The DNA results they had been waiting on were returned hours later. Tony retrieved them then found Sara going over the victim's clothing and bedding for trace evidence. "Sara, we have DNA. Can you take it to the precinct? Munch and Tutuola have a suspect in custody and we need a DNA match, he's not in the system. I have a meeting I can't get out of right now."_

"_No problem, just tell me where I'm going."_

_She got directions and less than ten minutes later she was walking into the precinct._

"_Sara!" Detective Munch called out to her. "Give me some good news."_

"_Well we have viable DNA; I just need something to match it to. Do you have the warrant?"_

"_Right here," he waved a paper in front of her._

"_Great, now show me your suspect."_

_He led her to lock-up and she swabbed the man's mouth. Then she and John walked away, "I'll get this back to the lab and let you know as soon as I can."_

"_Thanks, they should all be this easy."_

"_You mean they aren't? I may have to rethink my move."_

_John laughed a little then responded, "Give us some time, we'll find a case to challenge you."_

"_I have no doubt."_

_A bit later the results were in and the suspect was charged with two counts of murder and one sexual assault. _

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_Sara was brought out of the past by a knock at the door. Anya was right on time, as usual. Sara kissed her son good-bye and headed out the door to meet her colleagues.

* * *

_TBC..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Running Away**

Chapter 2

_(AN: Thank you so much for the response from the 1st chapter. **Peggy47, **Thank you for the approval of Alex. I'm not sure if you are referring to the fact that he is male (I understand that some readers are tired of female children - oh well 50/50 shot there) or his name, which is a favorite of mine. My husband wouldn't agree to name our son Alex, so I am using it here. **Linsdey, **I am glad you like the story. Don't worry you don't really have to know Law & Order SVU to follow it. Tony Ciminelli is my own creation, but the others are part of the show. **Thank you to everyone else who has taken the time to review!**_

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU.)_

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"Over here Sara," she heard Olivia call out as she entered the restaurant. She made her way to the corner booth and found Detectives Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler, A.D.A. Casey Novak, and John Munch, Fin Tutuola, and Tony Ciminelli all waiting for her.

"Sorry I'm late." She said as she sat down.

"You're not late," Fin said, "We were just all overly eager to drink after that last case." He gave her a wink and a smile.

Sara gave a small laugh and ordered a drink for herself, then opened her menu.

"So was Alex excited to see you today?" Elliot asked

"I'm just glad he remembered who I was, but yea, he seemed to have fun, we spent all morning building towers and knocking them down. Were your kids excited to see you?"

"No. they have hit the age where they could care less, or at least that is the impression they give. I have to live vicariously through people with young kids who's lives still revolve around their parents."

Sara smiled at the thought that her son was still young enough that his mommy could do no wrong in his eyes. She dreaded future conversations with him that would prove that theory wrong. She went back to looking at her menu and decided on a veggie burger and fries. After everyone ordered the conversation turned casual. No one was in the mood for a heavy conversation after the last few days.

They had finally wrapped up a case involving a man who would snatch teenage girls from Central Park, torture, rape, and murder them. He had killed nine girls before being caught. This meant nine grieving families who needed the closure only a conviction would bring. It was hard on everyone. For the last three weeks this man terrorized the people who made stops in Central Park a part of their daily ritual. Which meant that for the people sitting at the table three weeks of little sleep and little time off of work, after all they had a job to do.

After dinner they filed out of the restaurant and each made their way home. When Sara turned to walk home John called out to her, "What are you doing?"

"Going home." She responded a little confused.

"You can't walk by yourself, has this case taught you nothing?"

She wasn't sure exactly how serious he was, "John I'm not that far, I'll be fine, I'm a big girl," she gave him her famous gap-toothed smile.

"I'm walking with you."

"Oh, I see, you're afraid and need me to protect you." She gave him a smirk.

"Something like that. Seriously Sara you've been here for what a year and a half? Two years?"

"Something like that," she stifled a giggle that threatened to escape.

"You have a child; you need to be little more cautious about walking alone. You're not in Las Vegas anymore."

"You really have an idealistic view of Vegas." He just glared over his glasses at her reminiscent of someone else. "You're too cautious, are you sure you don't have any kids of your own?"

"Pretty sure."

She knew he didn't mean to, but the words 'pretty sure' gave her a sudden pang of guilt. She looked away from John as her mind wondered back two years.

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"_Have you ever thought about having kids?" She asked lying tangled in the covers in his loving embrace._

_He looked down at her, "Sara I'm too old for that."_

"_No you're not." She was tired of hearing that. "Seriously Gil, have you?"_

"_No, I never thought that was in the cards for me. Why are you asking?"_

"_We've never talked about it…and…I am just…curious." She took a deep breath, "Do you want kids?"_

"_No, I don't." He shook his head for emphasis, "I'm fifty-years-old Sara, it wouldn't be fair to bring a child into that."_

"_That is a cop-out." She was a little annoyed with his response. "Forget your age for a minute. What would you think about a little one toddling around calling you 'Daddy' with my smile and your eyes?" The thought made her smile a little; she could picture it without much effort._

"_Sara it is just not what I want for my life. Why are you asking? Do you want kids?"_

"_It doesn't matter," she spoke barely above a whisper and shook her head slightly, "I'm going to take a shower." She quickly walked to the bathroom, quietly locking the door behind her. She wasted no time turning on the faucet and jumping in the shower so her tears wouldn't show or be heard. _

_She never thought she would want kids either, but ever since she saw the two lines on the stick she had been re-thinking some things. She didn't know what to do, but she knew that no child of hers would feel unwanted. She grew up feeling like that, especially once she was in the foster care system, no her child deserved better. The tears rolled past her cheeks and down the drain. _

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"Sara, you okay?"

His words brought her out of her memories, "What, yah…I'm fine John."

"A perfect example of why you shouldn't walk alone, if you aren't paying attention to what is going on around you…" He was having too much fun taunting her.

She barely heard his words and emotionlessly asked, "John, did you ever want kids?"

"You're not into being lectured, are you?"

"Not particularly. Did you?"

"Once I thought I did, but time moved on and I figured it wasn't meant to be."

"What would you do if someone from your past…" She paused, deciding she didn't really want to know, "Never mind." She slightly shook her head.

He stopped walking and took her hands in his, "Is this about him?"

"Who?"

"Sara, you know who."

She just looked at him, worry and fear evident on her face.

"Does he even know about Alex?"

She shook her head. "He didn't want kids, and I didn't want Alex to grow up…I didn't want him to be born into that situation. I grew up in a messed up home, my son deserves so much better."

"Did you love him?"

She was a little surprised at his question, but she replied honestly. "I still do, which is another reason why I didn't want to force him into a situation he didn't want." Her eyes were starting to shine with unshed tears.

John saw this and his heart hurt for the pain that showed on her face. He took her into a comforting and supportive hug and the tears fell. Through her sobs he heard her say, "If you tell anyone about this, I will hunt you down…"

He chuckled at her insecurities at being thought of as weak. In fact she was one of the strongest people he knew. "Would you like to get some coffee before going home, take a chance to relax before caring for your son?"

She nodded and they walked to the coffee shop a few doors down.

_TBC_

_reviews are always appreciated!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Running Away**

Chapter 3

_(AN: Thank you so much for the response first 2 chapters. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU.)_

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Sara and John sat sipping their coffee and making small talk for awhile. In the course of the last two years, this became a ritual for them when there was something on one of their minds, or a case they needed to come to terms with. Shortly after she arrived in New York she and John started spending time together. Neither had expectations, both of their hearts were with someone else, but they both desired friendship. Before long John was the one person in New York Sara completely trusted. She was so thankful to have a friend like that, and she hoped he felt the same way about her.

He was safe, there was someone else he belonged with, but as of yet he would not admit it to her, but she could tell. It reminded her a little of herself and Grissom. There was a slight age difference and they worked together, the complications that were all too familiar to Sara.

The conversation eventually evolved to a more serious nature when John spoke the question she could not even bring herself to ask, "Do you think he would want to know?"

She just looked at him, frozen with fear.

"Sara, you would not have asked me if I would want to know, if you were not wondering the same thing about…You know, you've never even spoken his name in all of the conversations we've had?"

Now she was ashamed, Grissom deserved better than what she left him with.

"Sara," concern was evident in his tone.

She just stared at the latte in front of her.

"Sara, are you okay?"

Another minute passed and she just stared.

"Sara?" She was shutting down and he was really worried about her.

"Gil," her voice was barely a whisper.

"What?"

"_Gil_. That is his name."

He reached across the table and gently took her hand in his, "You told me a while ago that you moved to New York because you needed a change and a chance to move on." He paused as she nodded. "You can't move on until you come to terms with the past. I can't tell you if you should or shouldn't tell Gil, because I think you already know the answer to that."

She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment, "I don't know how to tell him. I'm afraid I may have set fire to that bridge."

He released her hand to take another sip of coffee, and then asked "how did you leave it with him when you moved here?"

"Not very good…It wasn't my proudest moment." She couldn't even look at him as she recalled the events that transpired two long years ago.

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_Grissom had left earlier that day for a conference in Los Angeles. Sara went right to work packing up her things and arranging for the movers to get her furniture and boxes and haul it to New York. _

_That night she went into the lab to speak with Ecklie about her resignation. He was not terribly disappointed, but she didn't expect anything more from him. Now it was time to let the others know. She began to shake as she made her way down the hall and into the break room._

"_Nice of you to join us Sara," Catherine joked, and the others let out small chuckles._

"_Actually I won't be."_

"_What are you talking about?" Now Catherine was confused._

"_I just handed my resignation into Ecklie. I was offered a job in New York that, quite frankly I cannot turn down."_

"_When did this happen?" Nick asked._

"_It was pretty sudden. I'm sorry, I didn't want to say anything until it was a for sure deal." Lying to her friends_

"_Does Grissom know?" Greg asked._

_Sara just looked down shook her head. As far as she knew no one knew about their relationship, and she wasn't going to tell them now. One by one they all hugged her and wished her good-luck._

_As he was leaving the room, Warrick turned around and said, "When do you leave?"_

"_Tomorrow afternoon my flight leaves."_

"_Breakfast then, no arguments." He pointed at her to emphasize the last point and she smiled weakly and nodded._

_After clearing out her locker she made her way back to the town home. She turned off the ringer on the phone she couldn't bare the thought of lying to him over the phone. She felt evil for it, but she wanted to sleep in the sheets that smelled like him one last time, only she never slept; only cried. _

_The next morning she ate breakfast with Warrick, Nick, Greg, Catherine, and Jim. Followed by tearful good-byes and promises to keep in touch._

_A few days later when a worried Grissom returned, his worst fear was realized when he saw the note on the table next to her house key._

_Gil,_

_I don't even know how to tell you how sorry I am. I love you and will never stop, but sometimes that is just not enough. Please don't hate me, even though I would understand if you did. Take care of yourself._

_Yours always,_

_Sara_

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"You left a note?!"

"Don't judge me; I've done enough of that everyday since I left."

"And you haven't spoken to him since you left the note?"

"No, but I've kept in touch with some of the people I worked with, and for awhile they would mention that he was in a rotten mood for about a month. No one ever mentioned the connection. I don't know if they did not know, or if they did not want me to know that they knew."

"Does anyone in Vegas know about Alex?"

"No," she whispered as she shook her head slowly.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." It wasn't a complete lie.

They sat quietly finishing their drinks and then John walked her the rest of the way home. Her apartment was quiet and dark when they arrived. Alex was fast asleep in his crib and Anya was dozing in the rocking chair with a book opened on her lap. When the two walked through the door, she stirred until she was fully awake.

"Ah Sara, you are home. Detective Munch." She gave John a short nod, and he nodded back.

"Thank you Anya, how is Alex."

"An angel, just an angel. Well I will see you tomorrow." She stood and made her way to the door.

"Bye Anya."

After the door was closed and locked after Anya's exit, John turned to Sara, "I don't think she likes me."

"It's not so much that she doesn't like you as it is that she does not trust you" She used her best investigative voice as she raised her eyebrows, "She believes you have ulterior motives." They both laughed. "Well, it is only eight-thirty, movie night?"

"Depends on what you are going to make me sit through."

"_Bridget Jones' Diary"_

He shook his head.

"_The Big Chill_"

"Haven't we watched that enough?"

"It's good."

"Yes, but please something else."

"Alright, just for my conspiracy theorist, how about _The Manchurian Candidate_?"

"Old or new?"

"New."

"Put it in."

"Popcorn?"

"I'll get it." He made his way to the kitchen as she turned on the television and the DVD player. "What would you like to drink?" He called to her quiet enough so as not to wake Alex.

"Water, help yourself to whatever you want." She knew he would anyway. These movie nights had become somewhat of a routine. Sometimes others would join them, but they were almost always at Sara's place so she could be home for Alex.

A few minutes later they were sitting on the couch with their drinks and a bowl of popcorn.

As the movie began to wind down, the popcorn and drinks were long gone, and they made themselves comfortable on the couch. Eventually Sara fell asleep, also somewhat routine for their movie nights, and John covered her with the afghan that was folded over the back of the couch. When the movie ended, he made sure she was comfortable and warm enough on the couch. Then he left a note saying '_See you tomorrow'_ on the table next to her and locked the door behind him as he made his way home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Running Away**

Chapter 4

_(AN: Thank you so much for the response first 3 chapters. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU.)_

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She dialed the phone before she could change her mind.

One ring.

Two rings. It took all of her will to keep the phone to her ear.

Three rings. _Breathe, just breath. _

Four rings.

She was still reminding herself to breathe when the answering machine clicked, and before she could gather her thoughts together the dreaded _beep _sounded.

"Uh…Hi Griss, it's Sara. I…um…I need to talk to you. Please call me when you have a chance. It's…it's important. Bye."

She turned off the phone and sat shaking a little; now all she could do was wait. Her mind was wondering to the 'what if's' of the conversation to come when a little hand placed a book on her lap. Alex then pulled himself up onto his mothers lap as well.

"Would you like a story?"

Alex nodded his head wildly as Sara laughed and then began to read to her son.

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_Even as she took her seat on the plane, she was having second thoughts. 'Maybe if he knew it was a done deal, he would change his mind?' But she was too afraid to take that chance. She put her sunglasses on to hide the threatening tears so no one would ask her what was wrong; she could not handle the questions at that moment. _

_Later he would arrive home to find her key and her good-bye. It broke her heart to think of the possibility of him hating her. She could never hate him, but if he had left like she had, she would be crushed. A tear broke free. Thankfully she had a window seat so she could face that when she couldn't face anyone else._

_She had to move on. She had to start a new life, not only for herself but for her child, for his child. The dam broke and the tears flooded her face. She turned even more towards the window and pretended to sleep. _

_No regrets she reminded herself, a promise she wasn't sure she could keep._

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Later that week Sara and John were driving on their way to interview a witness. John was driving and Sara's mind was about 2,500 miles away. He noticed the second she willingly climbed into the passenger seat.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

She continued to look out the windshield but held her hand out to him waiting for the penny.

He shook his head and began digging for a penny; he could humor her if it improved her mood. He could only find a nickel, so he handed that over.

"This is a nickel." There was no emotion in her voice.

"You owe me four thoughts; we'll discuss those another time."

She couldn't help but laugh at that.

"So, what is going on with you today?"

"I called him."

He turned and looked at her over the rims of his sunglasses. When she did not continue he prodded her, "And?"

"And nothing, I left a message two days ago and nothing."

"What did the message say?"

"Just basically 'call me' and that 'it's important'."

He just nodded, not really knowing what to say.

Later Fin had joined Sara and John in a layout room. The three were going over the case. A man had lost his wife and child in a burglary gone bad, but now the evidence suggested that he may have been the one to organize the killings. Apparently the man had lost his first wife in a very similar way ten years prior, in Las Vegas of all places.

The three were looking over crime scene photographs when a knock at the door took their attention. "Come in," Sara called then mumbled to herself, "Since when does anyone around here knock?"

Tony walked in with two familiar faces, "Sara!" Nick flashed her one of his famous Texas-sized smiles.

"Sar, you on this case?"

"Yea, what are you doing here?" Nick had engulfed her in a hug as she asked.

"We are working the Vegas connection. Thompson from days, who had the case originally, retired about seven years ago, so we volunteered." Nick was still smiling as he spoke.

"Uh-huh," she responded and then remembered that they were not alone. "Oh guys these are Detectives John Munch and Fin Tutuola," she then turned to face the detectives, "And this is Warrick Brown and this is Nick Stokes. We worked together in Vegas."

"Oh so you know them, I never would have guessed." John gave his best sarcastic smile as Sara playfully rolled her eyes.

The guys all shook hands and greeted each other. Then they got right to work going over all of the evidence collected with the Vegas CSI's. A few hours later they decided to call it a day. Sara, Nick, and Warrick went out to dinner so they could catch up on what was new with each of them..

They were sitting in a booth at a restaurant near the guys' hotel talking casually until they placed their orders. Sara couldn't believe how good it was to see them again.

"So girl, how have you been?" Warrick looked her in the eye.

"Pretty good, they have a great lab here."

"Not the lab, how are _you_?" She knew at some point they would both slip into big-brother-mode.

"I'm good. How is everything in Vegas?" Something in they way they both looked at her made her nervous.

"Well Catherine is struggling with a rebellious Lindsay. Greg has been seeing the same girl for about a year now." Nick said.

"Elizabeth, right?"

"How did you know?"

"Nick, you're not the only one with my email address," she winked at him. She bit her lip then dared to ask, "How is Grissom?"

They both knew it would come eventually. There had been suspicions that there was more to Sara's leaving than a job offer. They figured he had continued to push her away and she had finally had enough. A few years prior they all thought the two would end up together, but it didn't seem to go that way. Warrick spoke first, "He is good. It was a little tense after you left," Sara swallowed hard at that information. The guilt still had her.

Warrick continued at Nick's urging, "He is better now. He and Sofia are spending a lot of time together." He didn't go any further.

Nick jumped in when he saw the look on Sara's face, "She's definitely more into him than he is into her." He wished that would make her feel better, but then what could she expect, she was the one who moved away after all.

Sara sat in shock for a couple minutes. She always knew Sofia wanted him, but she never really believed that he felt the same. She was momentarily saved by the vibration of her cell. "Sorry guys," she said as she opened her phone. "Sidle…Is he alright?…I'll be right there…bye." With that she closed her phone, somewhat relieved. "I hate to cut this short, but-"

"Duty calls?" Warrick asked.

"Something like that," she half smiled.

"Is everything alright?" Nick asked.

"Yes, I just have to go. I will see you in the morning." With that she was gone.

She arrived home about fifteen minutes later to a crying child, "Anya, how is he?"

"I think it is his ear again. I am sorry for bothering you, but he wanted mama."

"Anya, my son is never a bother." She smiled at the older woman as she continued, "Thank you for caring for him."

"It is my pleasure, I will see you in the morning, yes?"

"Yes, I'll see you then." She smiled as the older women left. Then turned her attention to her crying son, "Oh sweetie, is it your ear again? Mommy will get you something to feel better." She gave him some Tylenol for the pain, then laid him on a warmed rice pillow on her bed and then lay down next to him while rubbing his back until he fell asleep.

The quiet gave her time to think, which may or may not have been a good thing. Nearly two years later and it still hurt. She really would never stop loving him and now she felt like he was cheating on her. She had to remind herself that she was the one to leave and that he was allowed to have a life, even though it no longer included her. At least she would always have a piece of him with her, she thought as she continued to rub Alex's back. Eventually they were both asleep.

When the alarm went off the next morning she quickly turned it off, then she slipped away from her son and built pillow walls around him to keep him from rolling off the bed. Usually she would have moved him to his own crib, but when he didn't feel well, she was a sucker for him and he would spend the night wherever he was most comfortable. Of course that usually meant a rough night for her, but it did not matter.

She took a quick shower and grabbed a cup of coffee. The knock at the door alerted her to Anya's arrival. "Hi Anya, he is still sleeping, let me know how he is, if it is still bothering him, I'll make a doctor's appointment."

"Bye Sara, do not worry he will be fine."

A call on her way to work told Sara that Alex was not any better so she made a one o'clock appointment. Anya would meet her at twelve thirty with Alex. Now she just needed to try to make sure Nick and Warrick were not around at that time.

A few hours later she and John were in the interrogation room with the grieving widower. Nick and Warrick were observing with Fin. As normal, Sara lost track of time. Elliot walked into the observation room, "Fin, Sara just about done?"

"I think she's just getting started." He chuckled, "They've caught him in one lie after another."

"Well, she's got a visitor."

"Have them wait."

"Anya's pretty insistent."

"Oh, that's right. She mentioned taking off an hour or so for a doctor's appointment."

Nick and Warrick exchanged confused looks.

Fin knocked on the window, which prompted Sara to look at her watch, "Shit," she muttered to herself as she and John left the interrogation room for the observation room.

"What's up?" John asked.

"Sara's got company-" Fin started, but was interrupted by Sara.

"I'm late, you okay if I go? It should only take an hour give or take." She avoided eye contact with Nick and Warrick.

"Go, hope he feels better." John said as Sara took on a deer-in-headlights look willing him not to say anything more with her mind. Then she turned to leave.

Curiosity got the best of Nick as he followed Sara out. He did not say a word as she picked up a boy of about one and gave him a kiss, and then walked out the door with the child and an older woman.

_TBC…_


	5. Chapter 5

**Running Away**

Chapter 5

_(AN: Thank you so much for the response first 4 chapters. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU.)_

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True to her word Sara was back about an hour later, they wrapped up the case against the man who invested large life insurance amounts in his wives and then had them killed for the payoff. His son was not an intended target, but the man wasn't all that broken up about it, and that broke Sara's heart. She was bothered even more by cases involving children these days.

She, Nick, and Warrick went out for a drink before the guys were to leave for Vegas in the morning. To their credit they had not said anything about Alex while working, but she feared it would be coming soon, and once they were seated at the bar it happened.

"So Sara, anything you want to share?" Nick broke the silence first.

"Not particularly." She casually responded.

"Sara, spill it." Warrick nearly commanded.

"Spill what?" She wasn't going to make it easy for them.

"Who is the little boy, the woman, and what is wrong that requires a doctor's intervention?" Nick asked.

She paused and thought for a moment, "Alex is my son. He has an ear infection, but will be fine. Anya is his nanny."

"Wait, w-w-when did you have a son?" Nick asked more than a little shocked.

"About fifteen months ago." She knew what was coming next; she just waited for one of them to do the math.

"So you were pregnant when you left?" Warrick asked very slowly.

Sara only nodded.

"Who is the father?" The words were out of Nick's mouth before he could stop them.

"Why you are Nicky, don't you remember?" Sara smiled coyly

Nick sat shocked for a moment, unsure of how to respond.

"Relax Nick. Trust me you would remember if we had-" she nodded and raised her eyebrows to reinforce her statement.

He smiled back at her, "I have no doubt I would."

Now she was sure her cheeks were bright red. "It's not important who, he just did not want to be a father, and I did not want to force him."

"Does he know?"

She slowly shook her head.

"Is that fair?"

"No more fair than Alex growing up with a father who never wanted children in the first place." She was biting the inside of her cheek to keep herself from giving into the emotion trying to break free. "Look, guys, can we keep Alex's existence between us."

"If that is how you feel, we will respect your decision." Warrick responded and Nick nodded his agreement.

"Can we meet him?" Nick added with a smile.

Sara returned the smile, "My place for coffee after dinner?"

Once their meals were finished they walked the six blocks to Sara's place. When the door was opened a very excited toddler squealed with delight as he made his way to his mother's arms. "Hi baby!" Sara practically squealed back.

"Momma, momma, momma."

"Yes Alex, momma."

Sara was still smiling when she looked at Anya, "He seems to be feeling much better."

"Yes shortly after he started the antibiotics, he was the same old Alexander." She looked briefly at the men who had accompanied Sara home.

"Oh Anya, I am sorry. This is Nick and Warrick. They are friends of mine from Las Vegas."

They both said, "Hi," and then shook the woman's hand. A few minutes later, Anya had returned to her apartment and the guys were getting better acquainted with Alex.

While Sara made coffee Nick and Warrick played ball with Alex on the floor of the living room. It was a pretty one sided game. They would roll the ball to Alex and he would chew on it for a minute. Then one of them would ask for the ball back and Alex would stand up, hand the ball over, and then sit back down. They repeated this pattern more than few times before Alex lost interest and moved on to his beloved blocks.

The three adults sat drinking, talking casually, and playing with Alex until Alex became too tired. His tiredness came out in a hollow scream, followed by him flinging himself on the floor after Sara told him, "No throwing blocks Alex."

Sara picked up her son saying, "Bed time. Say good-night Alex."

Alex kept screaming as the guys said "Good-night" to him.

A few minutes later Sara reappeared sans Alex.

"He's great Sar. Man, I still cannot believe you have a kid." Nick said with a goofy smile.

"You can't believe it? There are still nights when I will wake up wondering whose kid is screaming, and then I realize it is mine."

"So, you don't have to answer, but what happened?" Warrick carefully asked.

Sara took a deep breath, "I don't really know how to answer that. I guess you have figured out most of it. I was pregnant when I left and he," she gestured to the nursery, "is the reason I needed to relocate." She spoke matter-of-factly.

"I don't understand why you needed to move across the country?" Nick asked

"I told you his father didn't want kids."

Warrick squinted his eyes as he spoke, "How do you know if you never told him."

"He told me he did not want kids."

"How do you know he would have felt the same if he had known?" Warrick asked.

Nick added, "I can't believe any man you would have been involved with would have reacted the way you are expecting."

"Guys…" she let out a breath, "It…I…just…I grew up in a family where my parents never should have been parents. Especially my dad, and my brother and I paid the price for that. I cannot allow my son to live through the…the crap I lived through."

Nick reached over and gently rubbed Sara's back with one hand. "Sara, don't get mad at me for this, but is it really fair to punish this man for the sins of your father?"

She sat staring for a minute before replying, "I tried to tell him."

"When?" Nick asked.

"I called a couple days before you two arrived. I left a message. He never called back."

Warrick said, "Think about giving him another chance, maybe he didn't get the message."

Sara nodded, "I'll think about it."

After the guys went to their hotel, Sara sat alone on her couch with the phone in her hand once again. She dialed the number she still knew by heart. She had considered calling his cell phone, but she didn't want to catch him at work, this conversation needed to private. The rings continued with no answer, and again she found herself fumbling through a message.

"Hey Griss, I haven't heard from you yet, maybe you haven't checked your messages lately…but…ah…I really need to speak with you, please call me back. It is important."

_TBC…_


	6. Chapter 6

**Running Away**

Chapter 6

_(AN: Thank you so much for the response first 5 chapters. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. The song 'In My Life' was written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney)_

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"I don't know, I've called twice and he has yet to return my calls. At what point does this become stalking. I mean, he would have called by now right?" She looked to John for some validation as they made their way down the sidewalk. 

"Sara, I don't know him. I cannot answer that, but I still think you should keep trying until you actually speak to him."

"John."

"Sorry, that is how I feel."

"No, John look!" She was pointing towards their destination.

"My god! What the hell?!" He took on a slightly panicked look as they stood watching the scene before them. Three fire trucks and countless firefighters moved in a somewhat choreographed chaos.

Sara grabbed his arm when he looked like he was about to bolt towards his apartment building. "John, where do you think you are going?"

He stopped having not thought his actions through, "I don't know," he answered solemnly.

After a couple hours of watching the fire was put out, but no one was being allowed inside. Sara just stood there next to him with her arm wrapped around his and her opposite hand holding his arm as well. She finally spoke, "Come on," she said as she pulled him away from the building.

"Where? I live there," he said as he pointed to his home.

"To my place. You can stay with me as long as you need."

He didn't say anything, just walked with her.

They walked in silence until Sara asked, "Do you need anything?"

He just shook his head.

"Tooth brush? Socks? Anything?"

"Oh yea, I guess I do?"

"I think you do," she nodded sympathetically. They stopped on the way to her apartment to pick up a few necessities for John.

Sara set up the couch with a pillow, a sheet and a blanket for John and then went to bed herself.

Somewhere around three am the midnight silence was interrupted by Alex screaming, "Momma! Momma!" Sara quickly ran through the living room to try to get Alex back to sleep before he was too much awake and she would not get to go back to sleep.

"Shh, baby, it's alright," she whispered as she laid him back down and began to rub his back. She began to sing in a hushed tone to him.

"There are places I remember all my life,  
Though some have changed,  
Some forever, not for better,  
Some have gone and some remain."

She kept a hand on his back as she moved to get a little more comfortable, and continued with the song. When she was just about done, she paused to yawn, and then continued. She began to remove her hand from his back and slowly made her way to the door.

"In my life I'll love you more."

She reached the door and began to close it behind her,

"In my life I'll love you more."

She turned from Alex's door and as soon as she saw the look on John's face, she had forgotten about her house guest. She was mortified when she realized that she was only wearing a green cami and a pair of black panties. "Crap, John I forgot you were here."

"You would have dressed for the occasion if you had remembered?" He joked as he tossed her the blanket he had been using, "How is he?"

"Sleeping, thankfully."

"You have a beautiful voice."

"You heard that?"

He smiled and laughed a little.

"So what are you doing awake?"

"I saw you run passed before, and I thought if I waited I might get a better look."

Sara rolled her eyes at him, "Good night," she said as she walked back to her room. Just as she got to the door, she removed the blanket from her body and threw it at him.

Thankfully the fire never really reached John's apartment, but due to damage to other areas of the building and the smoke damage in his place. He was looking at three to four weeks of staying with Sara. Neither of them minded, both enjoying the company of the other.

A couple days later Sara was at the lab working on an open case when she realized it was nearly time for her meeting with Casey about a case about to come to trial. She picked up her cell phone and called her. "Casey, it's Sara, I know we have to go over evidence for the Richardson trial, but I haven't eaten all day and I'm starving, could we do it over lunch?….Well, late lunch…Great, I'll meet you there in half an hour…Bye." Sara flipped her phone closed and left the lab to go to the restaurant.

Once they ordered they began going over the evidence for the trial. It was relatively open and shut so when they finished work related topics before they finished their meals, the conversation turned more personal, a little too quickly and bluntly for Sara's liking.

"So are you seeing anyone?" Casey suddenly blurted out.

Sara nearly choked on her Greek Salad, "No, why? You don't have a friend you are dying to fix up do you?" Sara did not even try to hide her disgusted look on her face. She was not into blind dates.

"No, I uh, I actually heard a rumor that you and John were seeing each other."

"What?" While the idea was not 'out there', it was a little funny. "He is staying with me while his apartment is repaired. Casey, he sleeps on the couch." Sara shrugged her shoulders and laughed a little. "Besides, there could never be anything between us. He's," she paused while she thought for a moment, "Interested in someone else." Sara lifted her eyes off her plate to look at Casey without moving her head.

"What?"

"Casey, it is pretty obvious. Haven't you noticed that whenever someone needs something taken to your office he always volunteers? Now if the two of you would just go for it." She raised her eyes one more, "Or not, being alone certainly has its advantages." Sara smiled a little at her own sarcasm.

"Sara?!"

"Look, he is probably one of my closest friends in New York, and quite frankly if you take that away from me I'll be pissed, but I think you would be good for him."

"Where is this coming from?"

"I don't know maybe a little bit of wanting to see him happy with someone who can hold up their end of a conversation. I don't know if you know this, and you did not hear it from me, but his ex-wives didn't really have that ability and my guess is that is why none of his marriages lasted." Casey snickered a little at that. "And a little of I see the two of you and I think of someone from my past, and how it could have been so right, but…" there really was not a way to finish that sentence so she just left it hanging. "Look, just think about it. Trust me regrets can tear you up inside."

That night Sara sat on her bed knowing it was time to go to sleep, but she couldn't get him off of her mind. She once again dialed his number.

One ring.

Two rings.

"Hello."

Sara froze, she did not expect this, "Uh…hello. Is Gil available?"

The voice on the other end made her heart ache, "No, he's not. Is this Sara again?"

"Yes Sofia it's me. Could you ask him to call me back it is important?"

"Sara he doesn't want to talk to you, please stop calling. The fact that he did not call you back should have been your first clue." With that she hung up.

Sara sat and listened to the dead line for a minute before what the blond bitch said sunk in, and then she began to cry.

A few minutes later there was a soft knock on the door. After a minute she could hear John on the other side, "Sara, you okay?" When she did not answer he slowly opened the door, "Sara?" He saw her lying on the bed holding the phone and crying.

"I called again."

He sat down next to her and put his hand on her back.

"His…I don't even know what she is, told me that he doesn't want to talk to me and to stop calling."

He could not say anything. If she had handled this better from the beginning her heart would not be breaking now. He just sat there holding her as she cried.

_

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_


	7. Chapter 7

**Running Away**

Chapter 7

_(AN: Thank you so much for the response first 6 chapters. I am sorry it took so long to update, there were two main reasons. First, I wanted to be careful about how I handled this chapter, and second It has just been a crazy couple of weeks. We had after holiday insanity, an unexpected trip (not for fun I might add) and to top it off my whole family had the flu. Not just my family in this house, but literally my whole family. CRAZY! Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. )_

Sara began to withdraw after her confrontation on the phone with Sophia. She rarely went out unless someone dragged her. She was hurting and did not know how to make the pain go away. Before Alex she may have had a few drinks to help her deal with her feelings, but now she rarely drank when home with him, and never more than one drink.

The day after Sara had spoken to Casey about John she had asked him to lunch, and things went from there. No one but Sara knew of the growing relationship, and she was honored to be in the loop, but the down side was that her friend, her rock, was spending less and less time with her. He still lived with her, but the time he was actually there was shrinking. Sara was happy for them, or she convinced herself to be. It was hard to feel so lost when someone else has found what they have been looking for.

A couple weeks after the phone call that threw Sara's life completely out of whack she and the rest of her team were awaiting assignments. Tony walked into the room and the smaller conversations quieted down. Once everyone was listening he began, "Before I hand out assignments, NYU is hosting a one-week long forensic lecture series beginning Monday. The NYPD has graciously agreed to send some of our CSI's to learn what they can and then bring the information back to the rest of us. From this shift I will be attending and Sara, you will be going with me."

Sara just nodded as, "That's not fair," "I wanted to go," and "Thank god I don't have to sit through it," sounded through the room.

After the others left on their assignments, Sara followed Tony to his office, "Sara, here is the registration form."

"Thanks," she began to fill out the form as Tony continued.

"This should be interesting, there will be presenters from all over the country. Here is the information. It is on campus, I will meet you there Monday morning at 8."

"Sounds great," she replied with a smile.

Over the weekend Sara realized that she had left the information on the conference in her locker, but she was not terribly worried. She had been to enough of these things to know the routine: meet and greet over continental breakfast, lecture, lunch, lecture, vendors' show, dinner, and if they were lucky cocktails.

Monday morning Sara kissed Alex good-bye and made her way to NYU's campus. She met Tony in front of the building which would house the day's events. They were just in time for the coffee and bagels Sara had expected. An hour later they were sitting in the auditorium for the first lecture. Sara had agreed to sit in the middle with Tony for the fist lecture, but after lunch she dragged him to front row right, "You get an undisturbed view from here," she had told him.

The room quieted as the moderator took the stage to introduce the next lecturer. Sara felt like air had been sucked out of the room when she heard the name 'Dr. Gilbert Grissom'. She suddenly wished she had let Tony pick their seats. Grissom took the stage a minute later as Sara tried to slink in her chair, willing herself to become invisible.

Only five minutes later Grissom was in the middle of his opening remarks when their eyes met. They both froze momentarily. Sara smiled weakly and seconds later he continued his speech. For the remainder of the afternoon he avoided looking in her direction at all.

Once the lecture was over, Sara leaned over to Tony and said, "I'll meet up with you later."

He knew that Sara knew the Entomologist, so he just nodded and glanced at where the man was collecting his things, and then Tony left the auditorium.

Sara sat for a minute watching Grissom. He eventually looked over to her once the room had cleared, "I'm surprised to see you here," he stated simply, but she could hear threads of contempt in his voice.

"I didn't realize you would be here either." She could feel her heart race.

They stood nodding and looking anywhere but at each other. "How are you?" He asked.

"I'm…I'm good. And you?"

"I'm fine."

She bit on her lips as she tried to not ask the one thing she had been wanting to ask. "Well, this is awkward."

"Yes, yes it is. It shouldn't be though. We are mature adults."

Sara could only nod at the mature adult who had refused to return her phone calls.

"Are you hungry?" She asked instead.

"Sure," he nodded.

They made their way to the buffet dinner provided, stopping occasionally to check out some of the vendor displays. Their conversation was light and casual until they were seated with their meals.

"So this is where you ran to?" His voice reeked of sarcasm.

"I wasn't running to anything."

"Just away I suppose?"

"Griss, I…I don't know. I don't know what I can say to help you understand. I had my reasons."

"It would have been nice if you had shared your reasons with me before you ran off while I was out of town."

Sara looked down at her plate, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. "There are some things we need to discuss, but this is not the place to do it." She looked around while she thought, "Would you like to go for a walk, maybe get some coffee?"

They made their way out of the crowded room and eventually out of the building. Sara nearly crumbled when she felt his hand on the small of her back guiding her out the door. She loved and missed this gesture of his.

Once they were away from the crowds, Sara took a deep breath and tried to pick up the conversation where they had left off inside. "I didn't leave to hurt you. I was afraid that if I stayed the consequences would be too much."

"What consequences?"

She forced a breath out, "I, uh, well, things were changing too much, and I just couldn't handle it. Coffee?" She pointed to the café they were standing in front of, effectively changing the subject.

He nodded and opened the door.

As they took a seat at a corner table with their coffees in hand, Grissom said, "I'm glad we ran into each other." The smile on his face surprised and confused Sara. "What's wrong?" He asked when he noticed the look on her face.

"If you really are, then why didn't you ever call me back?"

"Call you back, what do you mean?"

"I've left three messages for you at your place over the last month."

"Sara, I have not heard one thing from you since you left."

"Grissom I left two messages on your machine and one with Sofia. It is nice to see that you had no problem moving on." Now she was getting edgy at the thought of the two of them together.

"Sara I never got the messages. I would have called."

"Really?"

"I would like to think I would have."

"So, when did the two of you…?"

"Sara, you left, I have the right to move on, or at least try."

Sara's face fell as he spoke. "Do you love her?"

"That is none of your business." Even if he had answered, she didn't think she could have handled it.

"You're right, I'm sorry." She glanced at her watch, "You know I have to get going. I'll see you tomorrow I'm sure." With that she rushed out the door leaving her nearly full cup of coffee behind, but she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks and she would not show him the emotion ready to explode within her.

Once out of the café, she broke into the fastest walk she could manage without drawing attention to herself.

Grissom sat drinking his coffee after Sara had rushed out the door. When he stood to leave, he noticed Sara's purse still hanging on the chair she had vacated. He thought for a moment, then picked up the purse and opened it to find something with her address on it.

Sara arrived home out of breath. She dug into her jacket pocket for her keys. She was louder than she had intended entering her apartment. John immediately jumped off the couch when she walked in, still shaking slightly.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

Sara told John about running into Grissom, and about making a fool out of herself. She could not figure out why she would ask that question. She began to calm down and asked, "Where is Alex?"

"Sleeping. I got home in time to eat with him and then I put him to bed."

"And he went down for you?" Sara asked amazed.

"No problem," he shook his head once.

"Well, since he is down, I am going to go take a long hot bath. Movie later?"

"Casey was going to stop by after she finished prepping for a trail, mind if she joins us?"

Sara shook her head and smiled as she headed to the bathroom.

"What?" He called after her.

She turned back to face him, "You two are so cute."

"Don't start."

She laughed as she turned to continue towards her destination.

About fifteen minutes there was a knock at the door. John looked through the peep hole and called out, "Who's there?"

"I'm looking for Sara Sidle. I'm…uh…My name is Gil Grissom."

John smiled as he opened the door the door revealing a very confused Gil Grissom.

_TBC…_


	8. Chapter 8

**Running Away**

Chapter 8

_(AN: My god, you all are awesome! I cannot believe the response to this story! The reviews and alerts mean so much to me. Thank you all. Please continue to let me know your thoughts. Well this is the part many of you have been waiting for, but I am far from done. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. )_

"Hi, Gil right?"

Still unnerved, all Grissom could do was nod.

"I'm John. Sara mentioned she had run into you, come in," John said stepping aside.

Grissom recognized some of Sara's furniture, but not the man standing in front of him. "Does Sara live here?"

"Yes, she is taking a bath, she'll be out shortly." Deep down he was enjoying the other man's obvious unease.

"Do…do you …ah, live here also?"

"For the time." Why elaborate? "Would you like to sit, we were going to watch a movie if you'd like to join us?"

"I should be getting back to the hotel."

"At least wait until you see Sara-" he was interrupted by a cry from the other room.

"Momma…Momma!"

"Excuse me," John said as he made his way to the door near the far corner of the room.

Grissom could only nod.

As John entered the far room another door opened and Sara appeared wrapped in a robe, "John, did you pick out a movie ye-" she stopped cold when she saw Grissom sitting on the couch. "Hi," was all she could manage, shock written all over her face.

"Hi, you forgot your purse at the coffee shop," he said as he handed the item to her.

"Thank you. You didn't have to bring it all of the way here, but thanks anyway." She smiled. "Uhm, can you stay? I mean I know I was the one who left, but we still need to talk."

"What else needs to be said?" His voice spoke of hurt and a little indifference.

"A lot. Gil, please?"

"Alright," he shook his head.

"Do you want something to eat or drink?"

"No. So what is it you wanted to talk about?"

"Well," Sara began and then looked around. "Where's John?"

"His child was crying."

Sara nearly lost her lunch. _His _child? How was she going to do this?

"Who is John anyway? He said he lived here?"

"For the time being."

"He said that too." He paused almost like he wasn't sure if he could continue, "Are you two involved?"

"No," Sara shook her head for emphasis, "He is a friend. A friend who's apartment nearly burned down. He needed a place to stay while it's being repaired."

"Oh. Single dad?"

"Not exactly."

"Is his wife staying here also?"

As if on cue their was a knock at the door. Sara greeted Casey at the door.

"Hi, Casey."

"Hi. How was your conference?"

"Good. In fact I ran into a friend from Vegas. Casey, this is Gil, Gil, Casey." She was beginning to feel overwhelmed as the two shook hands. "Casey, John is in Alex's room if you want to see him." She raised her eyebrows and hoped the other woman would take the hint.

"Oh, Okay. I'll just go see how he is doing." She smiled as she left the room.

"So that is John's wife?"

"Girlfriend."

"Oh, but she is Alex's mom?"

"No," she was sure a higher power was going to strike her down any second, well hoped at least. When it did not happen she continued. "I'm Alex's mom."

"You and John?" Grissom was somewhere between shock and hurt. The child in the other room was talking. Sara hadn't been gone that long, she must have run right into another man's arms.

"No," her voice was somewhere between frustration and uncertainty. "John is not Alex's father." Her hands were flexed in front of her as she used them to emphasize her words. "Come on. There is someone you need to meet." She took his hand. She could feel him nearly pull it out of her grasp, but was relieved when he let her guide him to the illusive room into which everyone else had disappeared.

Sara smiled when she saw John and Casey on the floor playing with Alex. John looked up first, "Ah, Case, let me buy you a drink." He nudged the other woman.

As they passed through the door, Sara mouthed "Thank you," to John.

He smiled and touched her shoulder in support. Then they were gone. Sara heard the front door close and lock a few seconds later.

She watched Gil watch the child on the floor building towers.

"This is Alex." She simply stated.

"I don't understand."

Sara smiled, "He is my son. He is 16 months old." For the second time in a month she waited while someone did the math.

"You were pregnant?" She wasn't sure if it was a statement or a question.

"I was pregnant." She whispered as she knelt down by her son.

"Sara…Why?"

"Look I know you have a lot of questions, and I promise to answer them the best I can, but I cannot have that discussion in front of Alex."

"He's mine though?"

She nodded slowly. He felt his breath catch in his throat. This is not what he expected to find in New York. Deep down he admitted he hoped to see Sara, but this was completely unexpected.

He was trapped between anger and the thought of being a father. He joined Sara and Alex on the floor.

"Alex this is mommy's friend Gil."

"Hi Alex," Grissom said.

Alex immediately handed Grissom a block, which he then added to Alex's tower. Alex then pushed the tower over and began to clap and laugh. Grissom couldn't have hidden his smile if her tried.

"Would you mind staying with him while I go change. We could have that talk after he goes to sleep."

Grissom nodded. She could tell he was angry with her, but he was playing so sweetly with Alex.

After Sara left Alex picked up a book and handed it to Grissom. "Would you like to read?" He turned the book over and was pleasantly surprised to see the title of the book, _Baby's Big Book of Bugs._ "It must be genetic," he said to himself as Alex hit the book.

"Read," the child demanded.

"Alright, we'll read." He was finishing up the last page as Sara walked back in wearing sweat pants and a tee shirt.

She stood at the door watching until he was done, "Alright baby, time for bed." She picked up Alex, laid him in his crib, and kissed him saying, "I love you, good night."

The two adults left the room closing the door behind them.

"If we're lucky, he'll be asleep soon."

Grissom just stared at her.

"Alright, go ahead yell at me."

"I'm not going to yell at you, but how could you do that to me? To him?" He gestured to the closed door.

"It was for the best." She couldn't even look at him when she spoke.

"Who gave you the right to decide what is best for me?" There was an edge to his words that nearly sliced her.

"You told me you did not want kids."

"What? When?"

"Before I left, you told me you did not want kids."

"Just because I didn't want to plan on having kids doesn't mean that you being pregnant wouldn't have changed things. Sara, you never gave me that chance. You took it away!"

"I couldn't take that chance."

"What do you mean!" Things were getting very heated now.

"I grew up in a home where my father didn't want kids. My son was not going to grow up like that!" She was yelling in a hushed tone so as not to disturb Alex.

"We are not your parents! Jesus Sara!" He ran his hands through his hair.

"How do you know that I won't become my mother someday? Can you guarantee that?"

"No, but I…" He suddenly realized what some of this was about. He took her hands in his. "I never would have become your father." He released one of her hands and put his hand under her chin so she would have to look at him. He lowered his voice and spoke the words again, "I never would have become your father."

_TBC…_


	9. Chapter 9

**Running Away**

Chapter 9

_(AN: I cannot believe the response to chapter 8. You guys rock! Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Please continue to let me know your thoughts. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. )_

Both Sara and Grissom were required to attend the seminar for the remainder of the week, but at the end of the day they would both go back to Sara's apartment so Grissom could spend time with his son. They fell into a routine that consisted of dinner together followed by playing with Alex. At around 7:00 Sara would give Alex a bath while Grissom watched, but by the end of the week he would jump right in and help with the chore, getting just as wet as Alex on more than one occasion. Stories would follow, and finally it would be bed time.

Once Alex was in bed Sara and Grissom would talk for awhile before he headed back to his hotel. Usually the conversation would revolve around Alex. Grissom wanted to know every detail of his life up until that point.

John was trying to give them their space, so when he wasn't at work he was spending more and more time with Casey. Of course he did not mind.

On Friday the seminar was done at noon, so the three spent Grissom's last day in New York together. In the early afternoon they sat on the floor playing with oversized toy bugs that Grissom had brought with him that day for Alex. They were interrupted by the sound of his cell phone ringing. He picked it up and said, "Grissom," into the receiver.

After a pause he quickly got to his feet and walked further from Sara and Alex. She pretended to keep her focus on the game at hand, but her ears never left him once he confirmed who was on the other end.

"Hi Sofia…I miss you too." His voice was barely audible at that point, but Sara heard enough to make her chest hurt.

"I'm in a cab, on my way back to my hotel." Sara had to turn to hide her smile, the pain in her chest lightened a little.

"My flight lands at 10:30 tomorrow morning…No, you don't have to do that…No I don't have any plans for the afternoon…We could do that." The pain suddenly came back with a vengeance.

"I'll see you then…Bye." He hung up the phone and took a breath hoping that Sara had not heard what he had said.

"How's Sofia?" Sara tried to sound breezy.

Grissom realized she had in fact heard the conversation. "Fine, she's going to pick me up at the airport tomorrow."

Sara nodded, and then couldn't help herself, "So cab, huh?"

"Well I couldn't really tell her that I am with my son, that is really more of a face-to-face conversation, don't you think?"

"What are you going to tell her?"

"I have no idea," his eyes fell to the floor as he spoke. At that moment Alex walked over to him and made the giant lady bug he held climb up his father's leg. Grissom smiled and picked up his son. "I do know that I'm not ready to say good-bye to him yet."

She smiled as she watched the father-son interaction. "I think he shares the sentiment with you." She was amazed at how quickly Alex had taken to his father. It made her feel even more guilty over keeping them apart. Over the last few days she realized that she had made the wrong decision just over two years ago. With only a few days' practice he really was a great father, much better than her own. She realized that fear had clouded her judgment. Grissom was already in love with his son, and Alex already had his father wrapped around his finger.

"Why don't the two of you come to Vegas with me?" Grissom had effectively brought her out of her thoughts.

"Griss, I have to work."

"Knowing you, you have a ton of vacation time built up."

"I can't just drop everything and fly across the country."

"Yes you can." He had that mischievous smile. It was contagious and soon Sara was smiling.

"What about Sofia? How is she going to feel seeing Alex and I getting off the plane with you?" While Sara was not a fan of Sofia's, she didn't want to hurt the other woman. God, what was she thinking. _He wants to see Alex, not me. I may be the one hurt here, not Sofia._

"You're right. I should talk to her first."

"Look I understand that you want to spend more time with Alex, and I want you to, but we also need to take this one step at a time. I don't want to upset his life too much at once. You need to go back by yourself, talk with Sofia, and decide how you want to proceed."

"Fair enough, but please consider taking some vacation time and come out to Vegas."

"I will, I'll let you know when."

That night he laid Alex down to bed and said "Goodnight" and "Good-bye" not knowing when he would see his son next.

Alex amazed him by looking up and saying "Dadda."

Smiling with damp eyes, he kissed his forehead and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Sara was finishing up the dinner dishes. "Did he go down for you?"

Grissom nodded slowly.

"You okay?"

"He called me 'Dadda'"

She smiled, understanding what he was saying. "It's an amazing feeling, isn't it?"

"I had no idea."

"Gil."

He smiled, it had been so long since he had heard her use his first name so tenderly. "Yes."

"I'm sorry. I made the wrong choice. I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, but I am sorry."

He could only nod, not really ready to forgive her yet. "What do we do now?"

"Well, like I said earlier, when you go back to Vegas decide what you want, and then when I come out there we can talk about it and work something out. Beyond that I don't know. One step at a time." She gently patted his hand which was resting on the counter as she spoke the last part.

_TBC…_

_Next: Sofia's reaction :o_


	10. Chapter 10

**Running Away**

Chapter 10

_(AN: Wow, the reviews were really surprising to me. I think it is safe to say that Sofia will not be winning any popularity contests anytime soon. Seriously, thank you so much for the continued support through your reviews, they make this process even more exciting. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. )_

The plane was right on time, and as Grissom entered the baggage claim area he could see Sofia waiting. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to her and gave her a soft kiss 'hello'.

"How was the flight?" She smiled at him.

"Uneventful."

"That's good. Are you hungry?"

"Not really, I just want to go home and relax for a bit."

"Would you like some company?"

"Actually I was hoping you would come over so we could talk. If you're hungry we could stop on the way." As he spoke he saw his bags on the carousal. He left her for a minute then returned bags in hand and they walked out of the airport towards Sofia's car.

Walking into his town home he felt an overwhelming feeling of dread. Sofia needed to be told, and now was as good of a time as any.

She followed him into his home, "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because you have not said one word since we left the airport."

"Sorry, there is something on my mind though." He sat down and motioned for her to join him.

"Feel like sharing?" She sat next to him on the couch and gently touched his arm.

"I think I have to."

"Alright Gil, what is going on? Did something happen in New York?" His actions and words were causing her to worry.

"You could say that. My whole life changed in New York." He paused, "I saw Sara." There, the words were out there.

"I see. And?" The words were bitter tasting.

"And she gave me some news that I did not expect."

"What happened? What is this hold that woman has over you?" Sofia was somewhere between scared of what was coming and hurt that the man she loved came home to tell her about another woman.

"My son."

"What?" She shook her head, not knowing and not wanting to know what he was telling her.

"I have a son," he looked up at Sofia and shook his head at her look of shock. "I was shocked too when she first told me, but I have a son, Alex."

"She kept that from you?"

"She said she was afraid that I didn't want children."

"You don't, we've even talked about it."

"I didn't think I did, but this is my son, I've known him for less than a week and I already love him. He is my son."

"Gil, how do you know he is your son."

He just looked at her, _how could she even ask that question?_ "Regardless of how you feel about Sara, you should know that she is not the type of woman to sleep around with random people. Alex is my son. That fact will not be changing."

"Okay, let's say he is your son-"

"He is Sofia."

"Alright, he is your son, why is Sara suddenly telling you now? Why did she wait?" She knew she was waging a losing battle.

"Actually she mentioned that she had left numerous messages, but I never returned her calls."

"Numerous, hell try three," Sofia huffed under her breath.

Grissom caught her words and immediately changed his tone with the woman, "So you knew she called?"

"I heard the messages on the machine," she admitted.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought she was calling because she wanted you back, but after the way she treated you, she didn't deserve that." Sofia attempted to defend herself.

"After the way she treated me? At least she allowed me to make my own decisions about with whom I did and did not want to speak." He practically spat the words at her.

"Was I wrong, do you want her back?" He didn't answer, which was confirmation enough for her. She stood and picked up her things.

"Sofia, don't go, not like this."

"I have suspected for some time now that I was your second choice," she fought back the tears, "But I had hoped that eventually you would want to be with me as much as I wanted to be with you. I won't be second choice any longer. Damn it, I deserve so much better than you." With that she was gone.

"Yes you do." Grissom whispered after she had left.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After a few hours sleep, Grissom made his way to the lab. He was greeted at the door by Jim, "Hey how was New York?"

"Interesting."

Barely even registering the response he asked, "So what happened to Sofia?"

Confused he replied, "What do mean?"

"She resigned, said she was taking a job in L.A."

"That was fast."

"So you knew?"

"No, but…"

When Grissom didn't finish, Jim finished for him, "But you broke her heart and she is now the second person in two years that you have chased out of Las Vegas."

"Second?"

"Please, I'm a detective I know you were the reason Sara left."

Grissom froze, _had Jim known all along the reason Sara left? _"What do you mean?"

"I mean that somehow you pushed her away, and this time she went farther than anyone had expected." His tone was not judgmental, only matter-of-fact.

Grissom nodded, "Oh."

"Well, I'm on my way to serve a warrant, see you later."

"Bye Jim."

_TBC…_


	11. Chapter 11

**Running Away**

Chapter 11

_(AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. )_

**Monday**

Grissom was sitting at his desk doing his daily email check. His face lit up as he opened a message from Sara.

_Grissom,_

_Since I did not have very much success with the phone last time, I thought that I would try an alternate means of communication. I was able to get a week off starting a week from Tuesday. Alex and I will fly out Monday night. I am also sending our itinerary so you'll have our flight info, and as soon as I make a reservation I'll let you know where we will be staying._

_Sara._

_P.S. I've attached a picture for you._

He opened the attachment to find a picture of himself and Alex playing with the giant bugs on his last day in New York. He suddenly felt the pangs of loss. He missed his son. If he was being honest with himself he missed Sara as well. After studying the picture for a few minutes he hit the reply button.

After a few attempts, he closed his email page and picked up his cell phone.

"Hel-lo" he heard the yawn through the phone.

"Oh Sara, I'm sorry. I forgot you don't work nights anymore."

She was a little more awake now that she realized who had called. "That's alright, what's up?"

"I got your email. Thank you for bringing him here for a week."

"Yeah well, he misses you."

"Really?" He was surprised to hear this.

"He keeps saying 'Dadda.'"

"I miss him too."

"Well, just a week to go and then you'll have a whole other week together."

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Um-huh"

"Why not stay at my place."

There was a pause while she repeated the words in her head. "Uh, I don't know if that is such a good idea."

"Look I have an extra room, and if you stay with me I can spend more time with Alex."

She let out a breath, "Look I'm not saying no, but just think about what you are saying. Have you ever lived with a toddler before? He can be loud at inopportune times. He is messy and things can be easily broken. I just mean, be sure you know what you are getting into."

"I want to do this."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, what do I need?"

"Well, first you need to move all of your breakables out of reach."

"I can do that."

"He'll need a place to sleep."

"Meaning?"

"Well he is still to young for a regular bed, he'll roll right out onto the floor."

"That wouldn't be good for his first visit."

"No, trust me he finds enough places to fall from, he doesn't need any added help."

"What would you suggest?"

"Well that depends on how far you want to go. He can sleep on the floor on a soft blanket, or there are pack'n'plays which are basically cribs that fold down for travel."

"A 'pack'n'play'? Where would I find one of those?"

"Any baby store would have them. Look, if you want to go that direction, I'll order one online and have it delivered to your place."

"Alright, I'll keep my eyes out for it. What about food?"

"Yes, Alex does eat."

He could hear her snicker through the phone, "You know what I mean."

"Yes, I know. He eats pretty much anything you or I would eat, only cut up smaller." Another small snicker. "Actually he drinks soy milk and of course he's vegetarian too."

"I assumed. I'll stock up on the soy milk though. Look it's late, you need some sleep. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Griss."

"Bye Sara." He smiled as he closed his phone.

**Tuesday**

When Sara got home from work she found a note from Anya saying that she and Alex had gone to the park. Sara smiled at the thought of some alone time. First she put dinner in the oven, and then decided to order the pack'n'play online. After checking a few stores, she finally decided on a navy blue patterned pack'n'play. She paid for the purchase and then had it sent to Grissom's place. Then something occurred to her, _what would Sofia say about her staying with Grissom?_

She was about to call to make sure she would not be walking into a mine field when the door opened revealing Alex and Anya. The phone call was put on hold.

Sara, Anya, and Alex ate dinner together that night. Afterwards Anya went home and Sara got Alex ready for bed. While they sat on his bedroom floor picking out books to read, Alex once again said "Dadda."

"Dadda," Sara smiled.

"Dadda," he repeated.

"Should we call Dadda?"

"Yes," he nodded authoritatively.

Sara retrieved her phone and dialed. This time she was greeted by a groggy, "Hello."

"Hi Griss, I'm sorry did I wake you?"

"No I should be getting up for work anyway. How are you?"

"I'm good, but do you have a minute to talk to someone else?"

"Can he talk on the phone?"

"Well, he'll mainly listen, but he'll throw out random words and sounds. Besides, he's asking for you again."

"He is? Put him on the phone."

"Alex, it's Dadda."

Sara held the phone out and Alex immediately took it from her and held it to the side of his face, "Dadda."

"Hi Alex. How are you?"

"Dadda."

"Yes Alex 'Dadda'. Hi."

"Hi-eeee"

"Are you going to visit me soon?"

"Yeah"

"I'll see you soon Alex. Can I talk to your mother now?"

"Momma," Alex held the phone out as he said her name.

"Thank you sweetie," she said to Alex. Into the phone she said, "Did you have a nice conversation?"

"The best I've ever had." She could tell he was lost in thought.

She turned away from her son, "Are you going to be available in about fifteen minutes? I mean there is something I want to talk to you about, but not in front of Alex."

She had his full attention again, "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything's fine, there are just a couple things we need to talk about, but I want to put Alex down first."

"Sure, Ill be here."

Sara read some books to Alex and then laid him in his crib and said, "Good-night sweetie. I love you."

She made her way out of the room and closed the door. She poured herself a cup of tea and picked up her phone once more.

"Grissom."

"Hey it's Sara ."

"Is he asleep?"

"Just about, but he is quiet."

"So what did you want to talk about, you're still coming right?"

"Yes, and on that note I ordered a pack'n'play and some sheets. They should be there by the end of the week."

"I'll keep my eyes out for it. What else was on your mind?"

"Well, I don't need details or anything, but did you speak to Sofia? Is she okay with us staying with you, because if she's not, I can still make reservations."

"Actually I did speak with her. By the way, she erased the messages I never got, but anyway, she left. Jim said she turned in her resignation and moved to L.A."

"Wow, I'm…sorry. How are you?"

"Oddly, I'm fine. I mean I feel bad that she was hurt in all of this."

There was a seemingly endless pause. Sara eventually spoke, "I'm not sure what to say to that."

"Me either." There was another pause, but not as long. "I should get ready for work."

"I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Sara."

"Bye Grissom."

**Wednesday**

Sara was headed out the door for work as John was headed in, "Late night?"

"You could say that. I've worked 36 hours straight, I'm exhausted."

"Awe, poor baby." She gave him the mock pout he had expected from her. "Well, why don't you sleep in my room today, that way Alex and Anya won't disturb you."

"Thanks."

"Oh, by the way John," he turned to face her, "Monday night Alex and I are flying to Vegas."

"Really?"

She nodded.

"When I wake up you had better be ready with some details," he smiled.

"Deal," she returned his smile.

**Thurday**

"Hey I missed you last night." John said as he sat drinking coffee at the counter.

"Yeah, I ended up pulling an all-nighter. Where's Alex?"

"Anya took him to her place for the night, I don't think she was comfortable sleeping here with me."

"She's not."

"Oh."

"I don't think it is anything personal." She touched his hand for emphasis. "You are…unfamiliar to her."

He methodically nodded, "Coffee?"

"Please."

As he poured a cup in front of her he added, "Details?"

"What?"

"Your trip."

"Oh."

"Oh? How about when did this happen?"

She took a deep breath and then began, "Gil asked before he left if I would bring Alex for a visit. I emailed him Monday and told him I could arrange time off of work. I have to be in court Monday morning, so Alex and I are flying out Monday night." She thought for a moment and added, "He wants us to stay with him." She sucked on her lip awaiting John's reaction to that.

"Really? How do you feel about that?"

"A little uneasy, but he wants to spend as much time with Alex as possible, so I don't want to refuse."

"Didn't you say he was seeing someone? Is she alright with you staying there?"

"I don't really know the details, but I guess they broke up…after he told her about Alex."

"Ouch. Ah, so he is…available again?"

"I don't want to think about that."

"Why?"

"Because the end of the story leaves me alone and broken hearted."

"How do you know?"

"I just do." She finished her coffee and walked towards her room.

"You sell yourself too short Sara," he called after her.

She just shrugged before disappearing into her room.

**Friday**

_Grissom,_

_I didn't want to risk waking you, my internal clock is all off - it has been a crazy work week. I decided to ship our clothes and some other necessities. I hope you don't mind, but the more I thought about trekking through two airports with a weeks worth of clothes, the odds and ends that a toddler requires, a car seat, and a stroller, well I just don't want to deal with it. Has the crib arrived yet?_

_Take Care,_

_Sara_

**Saturday**

_Sara,_

_The crib arrived today. I think I got it together, but before you put Alex in it, make sure I did it right. It is not the easiest thing in the world to put together. The other boxes have not arrived yet, but I will keep my eyes out for them. _

_I guess some things never change. Do you hold the record for overtime there as well? Make sure you don't work too hard. By the way, don't worry about the time, you can call me anytime._

_Give Alex my love. _

_Grissom_

**Sunday**

"Sidle," she answered her cell.

"Hi Sara, it's Grissom."

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm good, you?"

"Good."

"Good, I was calling to let you know that your boxes arrived today."

"Oh, good thanks."

"Is Alex awake."

"He is, would you like to talk to him again?"

"Could I?"

"Absolutely. Hold on a second."

"Alex, Dadda's on the phone."

"Dadda," he giggled as he put the phone up to the side of his face.

Alex spoke some random words as Grissom talked to him, and then Alex held the phone out, "Momma."

"He gets such a kick out of talking to you on the phone. You know he even talks 'to you' on his play phone."

"What?"

"He picks up his play phone and says 'Dadda' into the receiver."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, he really is amazing."

"He really is."

**Monday**

Sara spent most of the morning and early afternoon waiting to be called to the stand in court. Once she gave her testimony, she headed home to pick up Alex and catch a cab to the airport. Once at the gate, she made a quick phone call before boarding.

"Grissom."

"Hey, we are just about to board."

"Great. I'll pick you up in a few hours."

"Alright, don't worry, if you can't we can always call a cab."

"I'll be there."

"Thanks Griss, bye."

"Bye Sara."

_TBC…_


	12. Chapter 12

**Running Away**

Chapter 12

_(AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. Let me know what you think of this chapter. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. )_

Sara sat in her seat as the other passengers began to disembark. She was suddenly very nervous so she opted to take her time gathering her things. Besides, her son was sleeping, so she wanted to get everything together before waking him. She stood, removing the seatbelt from his car seat, and then swung the diaper bag and her carry-on over her shoulder. She lifted the car seat holding her son and awkwardly carried it to the outside of the plane where her stroller was waiting. She carefully transferred Alex to the stroller, placing the carry-on and diaper bag in the stroller's basket. She managed to carry the car seat and push the stroller into the airport.

She followed the flow of people to baggage claim. Once in the open room she immediately saw Grissom waiving at her. She made her way to him.

"Hey, you're here," she smiled at him.

"I am, but…"

"But you just got a call and you have to get to the lab."

He smiled innocently, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, we'll just be sleeping. You won't miss anything."

They began to make their way to Grissom's car, at a more hurried pace than they had hoped for. "Would you mind dropping me off at the lab?"

"Not at all." Sara took the car seat and climbed into the back seat. Grissom was impressed with how easily she installed the contraption into his car. She leaned out the door, "Could you hand him to me?"

"Uh, okay." He nervously undid the straps holding the sleeping child in place, and carefully lifted him and handed the child to his mother.

Once Alex was strapped into the car seat, Sara climbed into the front seat as Grissom placed the stroller in the back of the car.

"So what is the case?" Sara asked as they drove to the lab.

"Body and bugs in the desert."

She nodded, remembering some of the similar calls she had gone on with him. "Well if you call me when you're done, I'll come pick you up."

"That would be great." He thought for a moment, and then added, "I have the guest room all set up for you. Your boxes are in there as well. And please check the crib before you put Alex in it."

She made an attempt to hide the smile on her lips, "I will."

"There is food in the fridge as well."

"Thank you."

Sara dropped Grissom off and then drove on to his town home. She went to the door to unlock it before getting Alex. It took a few minutes, but she was able to get Alex into bed without waking him. She went into the kitchen to have a little snack. She noticed he had stocked the fridge and cupboards with all of her favorites, making her suddenly feel like she had returned home. She snacked on some soy chips, and then decided to go to bed.

When the sun broke through the blinds, Sara awoke surprised to find Alex still sleeping soundly. She decided to take advantage of the time and took a quick shower. As she dried her body off she could hear Alex alerting her that he was in fact awake.

She got the two of them dressed and then gave Alex a sippy cup of soy milk. As she handed him his drink her cell phone rang. She smiled as she looked at the caller ID.

"Need a ride?"

"Yes actually. How did you sleep?"

"Really well actually. We both did."

"Good, have you eaten?"

"No we were just about to."

"Would you like to go out for breakfast?"

"We could do that. I'll be there shortly."

She repacked the diaper bag, put Alex in his seat, and they were off to the lab.

She parked the car in the lot at the lab and sat for a minute, _Do I wait, or go inside?_

After a few minutes she sucked in a deep breath and got out of the car before she could change her mind. She carried Alex into the lab, stopping at the reception desk for a visitor's pass. She made her way towards Grissom's office. Nick was walking towards her, his face buried in a file. She stopped in the middle of the hall. He kept walking, bumping into her shoulder.

"Excuse me," he mumbled, and then stopped and turned. "Sara!" He grabbed her for a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Just visiting."

"Alex! Hey kiddo." He held out his hands to the child, placing the file under his arm. "Want to come see me?"

Sara was impressed that Alex went right to Nick. He started walking down the hall. "Nick, where are you taking him?"

"Warrick is in the break room."

Sara smiled and followed behind. Warrick looked up when the three walked into the room. "Hey Sara, what are you doing here?"

"Visiting." She smiled.

"So, ah," Nick started, "Any particular person you are visiting?"

"Nick, ask me what you really want to know."

"Did you tell him?"

"Yes."

"And…How did he take it?"

"Surprisingly well," she nodded.

"Sara!" Greg practically leaped over the table to give her a hug.

"Hey Greg." She smiled back at him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"What is who doing here?" Catherine asked as she walked in the door.

Sara turned to face Catherine, "Me".

"Sara? What are you doing here?" She didn't even try to hide the distain in her voice.

"They're visiting." Nick offered.

"They?" Greg asked, and then noticed the child untying Nick's shoelaces on the ground.

"Whoa."

"Sara, who is that." Catherine's voice had an edge to it.

"_That_ Catherine," now her voice was edgy, "Is my son."

"Sara, you have a son?" Greg asked with a confused smile.

She nodded.

"What is his name? When did you? What?"

Sara let out a small laugh, "His name is Alex he is nearly 17-months-old."

Before any other questions could be asked, Grissom and Brass walked by the break room. Their conversation stopped when they noticed the commotion inside. Sara nearly froze when Grissom walked up behind her. "Sara." she jumped at his words, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's alright."

All other movement stopped in the room as the others watched the two meet for what they all thought was the first time in two years. The silence was broken when Alex recognized the voice on the other side of the room. He toddled over to the man, reached his arms up with a smile, and said, "Dadda."

Grissom bent over and scooped up his son with a smile as the jaws of the room's other occupants simultaneously hit the floor.

_TBC…_


	13. Chapter 13

**Running Away**

Chapter 13

_(AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. Let me know what you think of this chapter. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. )_

All eyes darted from the unexpected scene of Grissom holding a toddler who was referring to him as 'dadda' to Sara who stood frozen. Her former colleagues questioned her with their eyes, and she simply nodded the answer.

"Wait a minute, when did this happen?" Catherine was the first to break the silence.

Sara nervously looked over to Grissom, hoping that he would do something to diffuse the situation.

He returned her glance and saw how on edge she was with the situation. "It's a long story Catherine and right now this little guy needs some breakfast, so if you'll excuse us," he motioned to Sara to get out while they could. Too late.

"Breakfast sounds good," Catherine smiled, "You guys hungry?"

"I could eat." Greg offered.

Nick and Warrick sat stunned. "Boys. Food. Now." Catherine practically ordered Nick and Warrick to come along.

"Oh dear god," Sara mumbled under her breath.

Grissom caught what she had said, "I don't think even he could help us now," he mumbled back.

Brass put his hand on Sara's shoulder, "Good to see you again, kid."

Sara smiled, "You too, Jim. You coming with us?"

"Yeah, you're going to need all of the friendly faces at that table as you can get."

She chuckled, but it was true.

They all met up at the dinner down the street, taking the largest table in the room. They ordered their coffees and juice for Alex. Then the questions began.

"So is this why Sofia left? Not that I'm complaining mind you," Catherine started.

"Sofia made her own choices about the course of her life," Grissom shot back.

"Yes, but did her choices have anything to do with your little secret," she motioned to Alex. "He is adorable by the way." She said trying to take the bitchiness out of her voice.

"She made her own choices." He repeated himself, wanting to keep some things private.

"Yeah, but what did she do when you told her? I mean did she did smile and nod, or did her head explode or something?"

"Catherine!"

Sara busied herself with Alex hoping to avoid as much of this as possible, but her ears perked up when Catherine pushed ahead.

"So is this why you were devastated when she," Catherine motioned towards Sara, "left?"

Sara froze, suddenly feeling even guiltier. She could feel her face turning a brilliant shade of red as she slid down a little in her chair.

Nick was sitting on her left and he carefully took her hand under the table and gave it a little squeeze as he spoke, "Catherine, I think it is time to let it go, whatever did or did not happen between them is between them."

Sara squeezed back her thanks.

"Fine," Catherine responded, but everyone knew this was far from over as far as the redhead was concerned.

Once their orders were placed, Sara excused herself to the bathroom. Less than a minute later Catherine followed.

"Catherine," Grissom protested, but she was gone.

"Breakfast and a show," Brass smiled as he brought his coffee up in a mock toast.

Grissom just glared at him.

Sara was just exiting the stall as Catherine walked into the bathroom. There was no mistaking the look on the other woman's face, Sara just stood there as Catherine stared at her.

"Cath, you have something you want to say to me?"

"As a matter of fact I do."

"Go ahead," Sara flung her arms out to the side.

"What are you doing here? He was over you. He was finally moving on and enjoying his life, what the hell gives you the right to come back and upset all of that?"

"I'm not trying to upset his life."

"Oh I know, you are coming back with your kid and hoping to make a nice little home for yourselves. You already made the choice to leave, why comeback now?"

"Because he asked me to." With that Sara left the bathroom and with a smile plastered on her face, she rejoined the others at the table.

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It was Grissom's night off of work, so he spent most of the day playing with Alex and having casual conversation with Sara. They settled into such a nice rhythm that an outside observer would have thought they were just an average family.

After dinner they put Alex down for the night, and then sat on the couch watching a History Channel documentary on The Revolutionary War. Somehow they ended up sitting very close to each other on the couch. Sara leaned back, unaware that his arm was right behind her. When her body made contact with it, he let his arm slide down over her shoulders. She relished in the feel of his gentle touch. Her stomach was flipping inside her. _What if he made the next move? What if he didn't? _She was so wrapped up with her conflicted feelings that she didn't notice a cry coming from the guest room.

"Would you like me to check on him?…Sara?"

"What?…Oh…sure, if you would like to."

After he left the room she went to the kitchen, hoping she might find- _thank you Grissom. _She smiled as she pulled the bottle of Sam Adams from the back of the fridge. She opened the bottle as Grissom walked up behind her making her jump and causing the bottle cap to fall to the floor.

They both squatted down to pick it up. Grissom grabbed it as Sara reached for it. The unexpected motion caused by his arm being so close to her body made her lose her balance. He immediately grabbed her to steady her as they both rose to their feet. Once they were standing his hands remained on her arms. She lifted her head to meet his gaze. They stood there frozen in time watching each other's eyes, looking for…something.

Neither one knew who initiated it, but their lips eventually met with two years worth of missed passion. He backed her up until she was leaning on the counter. Their arms rediscovered each other's body. Their hands groped every piece of skin they could find.

When they ran out of skin, he frantically pulled her shirt off as she made quick work of the buttons on his shirt. He trailed kissed over her face, then down her neck, and then their bodies crashed together, having been apart for far too long. It was frantic. It was hurried. It was intense. It was the release they had both needed. It was not loving or caring or sensual, but it was good.

Afterwards, without speaking, they both retired to their respective bedrooms for the night.

Sara awoke to the smell of coffee and pancakes. She looked over at the crib and saw Alex sleeping soundly.

"You're awake." Grissom greeted her as she walked into the kitchen. "Alex still asleep?"

"Ah-huh," she yawned her answer. Regaining her senses she made her way to the coffee pot. After a couple sips she offered, "Can I help?"

"Would you cut up the fruit?"

"Absolutely."

"There are some bananas on the counter and some apples, kiwi, strawberries and pears in the fridge. Pick what you and Alex like."

"Oh, he loves it all."

"Fruit and veggie lover like his mom?" She smiled shyly at him, which he quickly returned. A moment of awkward silence passed slowly. "You alright?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" She tried to play it nonchalant.

"Well," he put down the pancake batter and walked over to Sara, "Last night was a little…"

"Unexpected?" She offered as she put down the knife she was using on the fruit.

"Unexpected, yes," he nodded. More silence followed.

She could feel him still standing right next to her. She had her palms down on the counter in front of her, supporting her. "I don't know what to say."

_Was she shaking? _He thought to himself. "Sara," he reached out and touched her shoulder.

"Don't, please don't." She begged in a whisper. "I can't say 'no' to you, and right now, that's not the best thing for us."

"What do you mean?"

"Last night, I can't," there were tears in her eyes and she was definitely shaking. "We can't. We need to think about Alex, not ourselves."

He turned her to face him, "What do you want from me?"

"What do you want from me? That was one of our biggest problems. You speak in code, and I never know what is really real and what I just perceive as real." She could barely look at him.

He lifted her chin to look at him, "I don't know what to do. If you hadn't been pregnant would you have stayed?"

"I hate it when you answer my questions with questions! Stop! Put yourself out there and tell me what you are really thinking. If you want us to accomplish anything you have to open up and tell me in plain English what you are thinking. No hidden meaning, no innuendos, and no quotes. Your words and your feelings."

"Fine, you want my feelings; I'll give them to you. I was devastated when you left. You broke my heart in a way that only you could do. I opened myself to you, I love you and you just dropped everything and took off to start another life that had nothing to do with me!"

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"You're sorry! What the hell Sara! Not only do you take off, but two years later I run into you and all you can say is 'Oh, by the way you have a son.' How do you think that made me feel? You turned my life upside down with those words. I love Alex and I resent the hell out of the fact that you took his first year away from me."

"See, that wasn't so hard, and now I know how you feel." She risked a half smile at him, which he returned in like. "For what it is worth, I regret some of my choices and if I could take them back I would. I know that doesn't take any of your grief away, but I don't want you to think I took any joy in it."

Before Grissom could respond, Alex began singing in his crib. After listening for a few minutes he said, "Is he singing?"

"Yeah, when he wakes up in a good mood, he starts singing. I'll go get him and we can eat."

After changing Alex, she emerged to find Grissom setting the table, "Sara, I don't have a highchair."

"No worries, the stroller has a tray, works just as well as a highchair."

"It is going to take some time to learn all of these tricks."

"Don't worry, if I can learn, anyone can."

_TBC…_


	14. Chapter 14

**Running Away**

Chapter 14

_(AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. )_

Sara finished her breakfast, and then cleaned up Alex and the stroller. She followed Grissom into the kitchen where he was starting on the dishes. "Would you mind watching Alex while I take a shower?"

"Not at all." He turned off the water and dried his hands before taking Alex from his mother's arms. "Hey you want to help me clean up kiddo?"

Alex giggled and Sara said, "Thank you," as she left the room.

He grabbed a few large spoons and spatulas and set Alex on the kitchen floor. "You can play with these while I finish the dishes."

"Dadda." Alex said.

"Yes, Dadda," Grissom repeated pointing to himself and then he began to finish the dishes from breakfast.

"Momma," Alex said.

"Momma is in the shower, she'll be back soon." He spoke over his shoulder.

"Shaw," he repeated.

"Yes shower." A banging caught his attention. He turned off the water and turned to find Alex standing next to an open cupboard door. He was picking up pans and setting them on the floor with a 'thud'. "Alex what are you doing? Do my cupboards need rearranging?"

"Yest," he nodded.

"Yes," Grissom repeated as he handed the pans one by one back to Alex who placed them one by one back in the cupboard. Then Grissom returned to the sink.

A few minutes later Sara walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks. "Griss, trick number one: never turn your back on a one-year-old."

"What?" He asked, finally finished with the dishes. He turned off the water for the last time and turned to find a very content Alex playing in the middle of the floor surrounded by every pot, pan, cutting board, and baking dish Grissom owned.

Sara made a weak attempt to stifle a laugh, but it broke free. Grissom joined in the laughter as well. Soon Alex was laughing right along with his parents.

They both began to help Alex clean up the mess by handing him items and then telling him where they went.

"So what would you like to do today?" Grissom asked as they moved from cupboard to cupboard.

"I don't know. Did you have anything in mind?"

"We could go to the zoo, would he like that?"

"I'm sure he would."

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They spent a few hours walking around the zoo with Alex in the stroller, but around one o'clock he started to lose it. He threw the snack Sara had given him on the ground, and then he screamed at Grissom when he wouldn't take him out of the stroller.

"He needs his nap, we should get going or this could get very ugly."

"Can he wait until we get back home?"

Sara froze momentarily at the use of the word _home_, but then she decided that he probably did not mean anything by that. "Oh, he'll probably be out before we pull out of the parking lot."

So they made their way to the car and as predicted, Alex was asleep before they left the zoo grounds.

Sara glanced back at her sleeping son as they drove.

Grissom observed her actions, "Motherhood suits you," he smiled at her.

She smiled back, "That is something I never thought I would hear," she shook her head slightly from side to side.

His face turned more serious, "Can we continue our earlier discussion?"

She knew what he meant, "As long as Alex is asleep."

Before he continued he pulled off the main road and parked under a tree near a wooded playground. They sat in the car for a minute before either spoke.

"What were you going to say?" Sara broke the silence.

"What?"

"Earlier when Alex interrupted us, you were about to say something."

He thought for a minute, "Can I be completely honest with you?"

She nodded.

"I have been trying to see this from your side, but I just cannot get passed the fact that you intentionally cut me out of not only your life, but also Alex's life. I keep trying to forgive you, but I can't. I want to, but you leaving like that still hurts. I never got over it."

"But you moved on." She did not intend for her voice to have the edge it did, but the thought of him with anyone broke her heart, let alone someone she knew. Her head told her she had no right, but her heart controlled her emotions.

"I had no choice but to move on with my life."

Her eyes fell to the floor.

He watched her for a moment before offering, "I thought about you every single day."

She looked up with a glimmer of hope in her eyes, "You did?" She questioned.

"I did. What about you? Have you been seeing anyone?"

She chuckled a little, "Yes, there is nothing more attractive to a man than a very pregnant woman, unless it is maybe a single mom with an infant. Besides between work and spending as much time with Alex as I could to relieve the guilt of leaving him for the extended shifts I would end up working- " She stopped herself, "No, the short answer is no, sorry for the ramble."

He hesitated before asking, "Did you ever think about me?"

The breath caught in her throat, "Every day. More often after Alex was born." If he was going to be honest, she owed him at least that much.

"Are you happy?"

"What?"

"It's a fair question, 'Are you happy?'" He repeated.

She thought for a moment, "Yes and no. What about you?"

"No."

She met his eyes, and then reached up and gently touched his cheek, "Gil…" Tears were forming in her eyes and she had no idea what to say. "Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know Sara. I don't know."

She sucked her lips between her teeth as her eyes fell back to the floor.

He reached over and took her hand.

_TBC…_


	15. Chapter 15

**Running Away**

Chapter 15

_(AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. )_

After dinner that evening, Grissom went to the lab and Sara put Alex to bed. She was sitting in the living room reading the paper when her cell phone rang.

"Sidle."

"Hey Sara, how is Vegas?"

She took a breath, and then responded, "Fine John, how is everything at home?"

He heard the pause and the long breath, "Fine my ass, what's going on?"

"Oh, I don't know, Alex is having a great time with his father, but…"

"But what Sara? Are you having a great time his father?"

"Well…it's not that I'm not having a good time, I mean I love seeing them together," another breath. "I guess it is just that one minute we are having fun together, and the next I feel like I'm walking on eggshells." Sara was now pacing around the room.

"What do you mean? Is he being hostile with you?"

"No, no nothing like that. It's just awkward. I don't know. Like earlier we were in the car and actually having a conversation and then this eerie silence overtook us. Like we were both afraid to speak to the other."

"Well, good luck. If that helps."

"Thanks. How is everything there?"

"Fine. Oh, my apartment, apparently there was more structural damage than they originally thought, so I'm looking at even longer before I can get back in."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to let it go and start looking for a new place."

"I'm going to miss you. It was nice having another adult around for conversation that did not revolve around Big Bird."

"I'm going to miss the two of you also. Some of my favorite conversations have involved Big Bird. I will not however miss you're couch."

Sara could hear him moan as he stretched his back. "You know, you can sleep in my bed while I'm gone."

"I already assumed I could."

"Good," she chuckled

"Sara, there was another reason I called."

"What's up?"

"Well, the Becky Marshall case from three months ago."

"Rape/homicide, I remember. We had a suspect, but he fled. What was his name again? Donald? Dave Something?"

"Daniel Davidson."

"Right, did you find him?"

"No, but L.A.P.D. did. Casey's flying out tonight to try to get him extradited. His attorney is fighting it, and Casey needs to go over the particulars of the forensics in order to get a California judge to send him back to New York."

"What was he picked up for in L.A.?"

"Drunk Driving."

"Seriously?"

"Yep, can you be in L.A. first thing in the morning?"

She thought for a moment, "Let me see what I can work out, I'll call you back in a few minutes."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye John."

Sara thought for a moment, _well, if he wants to be a dad; he may as well get some solo experience._ She dialed her phone and listened to the rings until he finally answered.

"Grissom."

"Hey Griss, I need a favor."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, and no. Uhm…It's just I need to go to L.A. first thing in the morning. A suspect in a rape/homicide investigation is fighting extradition. The A.D.A wants my help explaining the forensics. It would only be for Friday. Maybe through Saturday morning, but no later. Could you keep Alex here with you?"

"Do you think that is a good idea?"

"Grissom I'm in a bind. He adores you. You know his routine. I'll only be a phone call away. Please. You said you wanted to spend more time with him."

"Are you still recording everything I say?"

"Griss," she said in mock annoyance.

"Okay, if you're sure he'll be alright with it. When do you need to leave?"

"First flight out in the morning would be ideal."

"I'll cut my night short and take tomorrow night off to be safe."

"Thanks."

Sara then got online to purchase her ticket, and then called John to give him her flight information and to find out where Casey was staying. Then she got a couple hours sleep. The next morning her cab arrived at 4:30. She snuck Alex a kiss as he slept before she was off to Los Angeles.

A few hours later Grissom, who had fallen asleep on the couch, was awoken by a crying Alex. When he went into the guest room, he was greeted by a very loud, "Momma!"

The morning only got more intense after that. Alex continued to yell for his mother as he dumped his entire breakfast on the floor. Before Grissom could clean up the mess, there was a knock at the door. He picked his son up and opened the door.

"Well, I heard the rumor, but I had to see for myself."

"Catherine what are you talking about?"

"Well, Jim mentioned that you were going to play 'daddy' for the day."

"I'm not just his father for one day."

She eyed him for a minute, "You're right, what I meant is that you are flying solo today."

He nodded and motioned for her to come inside.

She walked over and sat on the couch. He set Alex down on the floor with some toys and then joined her on the couch.

Catherine got right to the punch, "So what is going on Gil?"

"What do you mean?"

"Gil?" She shook her head and motioned towards Alex. "Sara left, now she's back and the two of you are playing happy little family?"

"Catherine, it is really none of your concern."

"None of my concern? Who watched you mope around for months after she left? Why did she leave anyway?"

"Catherine, we both made mistakes, but they are between the two of us."

"Gil, I just don't want to see my friend get hurt again."

"For that I thank you, but you have to let me make my own choices Catherine. I have a son whom I am just getting to know. I am taking every opportunity to do so."

Catherine sat back for a minute and thought. Then a slow smile spread across her face, "So you and Sara huh? When did that happen?"

He smiled, relieved at the change of tone in the conversation. "Yes Sara and I." He paused as she silently urged him to go on. "We were together for a little over a year."

"How did we all miss that?"

"No one was looking for it," was his simple answer.

They went on chatting for awhile, but then Catherine had to leave to get some sleep before her shift.

Grissom and Alex went for a walk, played outside, read some books, ate lunch, played with Alex's toys, and finally took a nap. Grissom put Alex down in his crib, but was too tired himself, so he just collapsed onto the bed in the guest room.

Once rejuvenated, they did a lot of the same activities all over again.

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Sara arrived home early Saturday morning. Alex was reading a book on the floor and Grissom was sitting on the couch working on a crossword puzzle.

"Well, it looks like everything ran smoothly."

"Momma!" Alex jumped up and ran to his mother who happily embraced him.

"Hi sweetie, did you have fun?"

"Fun!" He replied.

"How'd you do?" She asked Grissom.

"We'll we're all in one piece, I'd say we did just fine."

Sara smiled, "Good."

"How was your hearing?"

"Good, Daniel Davidson is on his way back to New York as we speak."

"You have always been good at what you do."

She smiled shyly and slowly nodded as she said, "Team effort."

"Of course," he nodded back.

"Hey, I was thinking, what if you and I went out tonight to give us some time alone to decide how to proceed from here."

"How to proceed?"

"Alex."

"What about Alex?"

"Well we leave the day after tomorrow, and I just figured that maybe we should work out some sort of arrangement."

"Like child support?" He asked suspiciously.

"Gil, I don't want your money." Sara responded, obviously offended. "By arrangement, I mean…I thought you wanted to be a part of Alex's life…See him on a regular basis. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry." She was beginning to feel sorry that she had even brought it up.

"No, I'm sorry. Absolutely we need to discuss this. What if I call Catherine to see if she and Lindsey might like to watch Alex this evening?"

"It's a date." Sara smiled until she noticed Grissom looking over the rims of his glasses at her, obvious fear in his eyes. "Or, two people who once shared a bed discussing their child's future."

He immediately realized what he had done, "It's a date." He smiled.

She jokingly rolled her eyes and shook her head at him as he dialed the phone.

_TBC…_


	16. Chapter 16

**Running Away**

Chapter 16

_

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(AN: Hope you are enjoying the super bowl if you are into that, GO BEARS! Thank you so much for the reviews, they make me want to write more. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. )_

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They were sitting at a table in an Italian restaurant having left Alex in the capable hands of Catherine and Lindsey. Sara ordered a glass of wine while Grissom settled on some scotch. Neither knew that the other was just as nervous as they were.

"I'm glad you brought Alex to Vegas."

"I am too. He was looking forward to this."

"Me too." The conversation was very stained, but they forged ahead regardless.

"Well, I guess we should get right to the point," Sara said after their meal order was placed.

Grissom nodded his agreement.

"How involved do you want to be?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what is it you want from this arrangement?"

"Sara, I'm his father, I want to be his father."

"You are his father."

"You know what I mean."

"No Griss, I don't, I don't think you fully understand. I live in New York and you are here. We are talking about a lot of traveling. Beyond that, your experience with him has been pretty much all fun and games. You haven't seen him have an all out meltdown. You haven't seen him sick, or sat up with him all night when he couldn't sleep and all you want is sleep-."

"Sara, I understand what you are saying, but I want to experience those things. I want to be the one he comes to when he needs something. I want him to come to me when he has a question he can't answer."

"So what do we do?"

"Sara I will do whatever it takes to be a part of his life."

"Well for starters, you can come to New York to visit him anytime you would like, and I can bring him here more often."

"Great, I'll see him what, once a month if that?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"I am open for suggestions."

He thought for a moment, "I don't know, but there has to be something better."

"Well, if there is, I sure as hell hope we find it." She raised her glass in a mock toast to him.

He gave a half smile and a short chuckle.

They had an easier time with the casual conversation as they ate their meal. When they were finished they decided to take a walk before getting into Grissom's car.

They were halfway down the block when Sara began to subconsciously rub her arms. With out saying any word, Grissom slipped his jacket off and wrapped it around Sara. Her feet paused as she looked at the concern on his face for her comfort.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

They walked a little further.

"I had forgotten what a gentleman you are."

"My mother would be proud."

"She should be."

Something began feeling very familiar to the two as they headed back towards the car. At some point, Grissom wrapped his arm around Sara. When they were back at the car, Grissom opened the door for Sara. She took a chance before getting in the car. She reached up and kissed him on the lips, and then got into the car. She waited nervously for him to walk around the car, unsure what his reaction was going be.

His head swam as he walked around the car. He climbed in and looked at Sara. He could see the nervousness in her eyes. He decided that since she was willing to take a chance, so was he. He leaned over and kissed her. The kiss deepened. Their hands began to massage the other.

"Griss.." kiss, "Can we…" kiss, "Take this back…" kiss, "to your place." She pleaded.

"Abso-" kiss, "lutely."

They eventually stopped and Grissom turned on the engine and pulled onto the street. It felt like an eternity, but soon they arrived back at Grissom's place.

Thankfully Catherine was on the schedule to work that night, so she left rather quickly. As soon as the door closed behind her, Sara and Grissom mouth's smashed together like high powered magnets.

As they began to strip off the other's clothes, Sara asked, "Don't you have to work tonight?"

"No, I took tonight and tomorrow night off. I wanted to be here with you and Alex until…" He didn't want to say it and she didn't want to hear a reminder that this was going to end soon.

This time they took the time to slowly reacquaint themselves with the other's body. They caressed, they touched, and they massaged each other. This time it was more than just sex. This time they made love. This time they made love for a couple hours before falling asleep holding each other.

Sara woke up first, still entwined in Grissom's arms. She lay there watching him sleep, gently stroking his arm. He eventually woke up also and looked her in the eye and smiled, "I missed you Sara."

"I missed you too," she smiled back.

He pulled her into a tight embrace. They remained like that until a scream for "Momma!" came from down the hall.

She looked at him again, "I should go get him,"

He nodded and gave her a gentle kiss before releasing her.

"Uh, could I borrow your robe, all of my things, are, uh…down the hall." She smiled shyly.

"Go ahead, I'll get dressed and be out in a minute."

She nodded and left the room.

They spent the day doing things as a family: ate meals, went for a walk, played at the park, and read stories.

That night after Alex was in bed, his parents sat on the couch. Grissom's arms were around Sara as she leaned against his chest.

"This place is going to feel so empty after you two leave."

She did not know how to respond to that. So she only nodded. After a pause, she asked, "What is it you want to do?"

"I don't know Sara."

They slept together again that night, but in the morning reality came bounding back. After lunch Grissom drove them to the airport and kissed them both good-bye.

Sara arrived home to find the apartment empty. She carried a sleeping Alex to his crib, and then began un packing. She had been excited to get home, but now she wasn't sure what it was she wanted to return home to because it felt like something was missing.

Grissom went into the lab that night. The others were disappointed to find him in a rotten mood. He snapped at Greg and argued with Catherine. After that everyone tried their best to avoid him for the rest of the night.

After shift, Brass stopped by his office, "So I hear you've been a lot of fun today."

"I've been doing my job, if everyone else had been doing theirs things would have gone much smoother."

"Gil, you can tell yourself that all you want, but you and I know the truth."

"What are you talking about Jim?"

"You wanted her to stay, didn't you?"

"It doesn't matter, she didn't want to."

"Did you ask her?"

Grissom just looked at his friend.

"If you don't talk to her, she won't know."

"It is not as simple as that. I am still not sure I can get passed her leaving two years ago and keeping my son from me."

"Well, you better figure it out or your son is going to grow up 2,500 miles away with the woman you love." Having said his piece, Jim turned and left.

Leaving Grissom sitting alone in his office. He thought for a few minutes and then began making phone calls.

_

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TBC…_


	17. Chapter 17

**Running Away**

Chapter 17

_(AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order SVU. )_

* * *

Sara spent her first day back at work going over some cold cases. The day droned on and on until finally her shift was over and she was able to go home to her son. When she walked through the door, she found Anya and Alex watching Sesame Street.

After Anya left, they ate dinner and then Alex took a bath. Sara was drying him off when her phone rang. She carried her towel-clad son to the find the phone.

"Sidle." She answered.

"Hi Sara."

She smiled when she heard his voice, "Hi yourself." Alex began reaching for the phone. "Sweetie, momma's on the phone."

"Phan." Alex repeated.

"Yes, Alex Dadda's on the phone."

"Dadda!" Alex cried out as he grabbed the phone, "Dadda," he said again into the phone.

"Hi kiddo," Grissom said to his son.

"Hi," Alex said and then handed Sara the phone.

"Hi," she laughed at her son's actions, "What's up?"

"I need to talk to you. I thought he would be down by now."

"We're running a little late tonight, but he is close. I can call you back when he goes down."

"That would be great."

"Alright, I'll talk to you soon. Bye."

* * *

Alex was sound asleep in his crib. Sara poured her coffee, and then sat down on the couch and took a sip as she dialed her phone. 

"Grissom," he answered.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?"

She could hear him take in a deep breath on the other end of the line.

"Sara, this won't work for me."

"What won't work?"

"Not being a part of each other's everyday lives. I didn't realize how much I missed you until I saw you again. I mean after you left, I was so angry, but over time I let go. When I saw you again for the first time few weeks ago, I realized I missed you. I can't let you go. I can't let either of you go."

Tears were forming in Sara's eyes as he spoke. "What do you want to do about it? I mean, what can we do?"

"Come back to Vegas."

"Grissom, what about my job? I can't just drop everything and move. I have a life here."

"You can have a life here too. You can have your job back at the lab. It is all arranged if you want it."

"You did that for me?"

"I did it for us, all three of us."

"What about Alex? He is very attached to Anya, and who would take care of him while we work? I don't even have a place to live…Wait a minute; I cannot even believe that I am even considering this."

"Consider it. You can live with me. I want you to live with me. I want us to be family."

"Are you sure you know what you are asking? Alex, well I love him more than life itself, but any child that age is not easy. There will be messes, and illnesses, and times where everything thing else has to be put on hold to accommodate his needs."

"I know, I want that."

"Gil, everything, even work sometimes. Are you ready for that?"

"I want that more than anything else."

"What would we do for a nanny?"

"I don't know, but we will find someone."

"Gil, I can't do this right now, can I think about it?"

She could hear the disappointment in his voice when he responded, "Okay."

"Hey, I'm not saying no."

"I know. Bye Sara."

"Bye Gil."

* * *

The next night after work, Sara went to see John at the precinct. He was sitting at his desk, concentrating on the file in front of him. She casually slipped into the chair next to him. "So how's your new apartment?"

"It's fine. How was your trip?"

"It was fine."

They sat in silence as John continued to look through the file.

"So are you going to tell me why you are sitting at my desk not saying a word?"

"That obvious?"

He nodded the answer.

She sat there staring at him.

He raised his eyebrows at her to get her to say something.

"Gil called, he wants me to move back to Vegas where I can have my old job back, and he said we could live with him, that he says he misses me, that he misses Alex, and I don't know what to do." She blurted it all out at an alarming speed. She finished by dropping her head to the desk with a dramatic _thud._

He smiled and gave a small chuckle as he stood and put on his jacket. He reached for her elbow and whispered, "Coffee or cocktail?" Into her ear.

She picked up her head and said, "Cocktail. Dear god, cocktail."

About twenty minutes later Sara was nursing a 7&7 as John drank a club soda. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"What do you want to do?"

She thought for a moment, "I want to go."

"Why?"

She chewed her lip for a moment before her confession, "Because I still love him." Her eyes fell to her drink.

"Then why don't you go?"

"Because…Because…I don't know."

"Sara, be honest, not just with me, but with yourself."

She thought for a moment, "I'm afraid of getting hurt. Not in the way you think. I mean I really hurt him, and I'm afraid he won't be able to love me because of what I did."

"I see."

"What about Alex?"

"What about him?"

"Would he want to live with both you and his father?"

"Without a doubt."

"Sara, I can't make your decision for you, but is it fair to keep them apart because you are afraid he'll treat you the way you treated him?"

"Well that was brutally blunt."

"Sometimes that's what it takes."

"Thanks John."

"Just don't forget about me when you're gone."

"If I go, I could never forget you." She gently tapped his hand as she spoke.

* * *

That night Sara sat staring at her phone. Finally she dialed. 

"Grissom."

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"You have to give me time to work out the details here, but you might want to start cleaning out your extra bedroom. You know, make it more child friendly."

She could almost hear his smile through the phone.

_TBC…_


	18. Chapter 18

**Running Away**

Chapter 18

_(AN: Thank you so much for the response so far. Great big thank you to TDCSI for helping to get me through this chapter, I never would have made it with out her advice. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI.) _

* * *

The next weeks were full of changes, excitement, and fear. Grissom decided to sell his town home and buy a house.

Anya agreed to move to Vegas with Sara. She did not have any family of her own and thought of Alex as a grandson, and so she was not ready to say good-bye.

Sara spent the time arranging to have her things as well as Anya's moved to Las Vegas. She was sad to give her notice at work, but at the same time was nervous about what was to come.

Grissom found a house that had 'Mother-in-law' quarters. Anya would have a bedroom, bathroom, living room, and kitchenette of her own. The rest of the house had three bedrooms plus a den and office.

Two months after agreeing to move back to Las Vegas Sara, Anya, and Alex arrived at their new home. Sara was impressed with how organized the house was. Grissom had already arranged his furniture, and then did the same when Sara's arrived, so the two women and Alex arrived to find a home ready to be lived in rather than boxes and random furniture everywhere.

Alex's room was the most impressive. Grissom could barely wait to show Sara and Alex. He had had a rainforest mural painted on the wall. Alex excitedly pointed to the different animals and of course bugs in the painting.

Sara was really impressed with the thought put into Alex's room. "I can't believe you did this," She said as she looked in awe around the room.

"I couldn't resist," Grissom happily replied.

After the long flight, Alex christened his new room with a nap. Once laying their son down, Grissom took Sara to see the master bedroom while Anya settled into her space and decided to rest as well.

"Should I be worried that Alex's nanny needs a nap?" Grissom asked Sara.

"You spend all day with him, you'll need a nap too," she smiled. "Wow, this is great," Sara said as she entered their new bedroom." She noticed the little touches Grissom had included to make her feel at home. She recognized Grissom's bed underneath her comforter. Her chair sat near his dresser. In the attached bathroom, her shampoo and conditioner sat on the shelf next to his shampoo and shaving cream.

He came up behind her and began to rub her arms and shoulders. She gently touched his hand with hers before turning into his embrace. He kissed her and whispered, "I missed you."

Sara bit her lips, still feeling a little nervous, "Missed you too. Thank you for asking us to come."

"I am so glad you came," he gave her a kiss that drove home his words. They spent the rest of Alex's nap celebrating their reunion in their new bedroom.

* * *

Sara's first night back at the lab was not at all what she expected. Catherine wasn't exactly thrilled to see her, but moved on nonetheless. Sara did receive heart felt hugs from the guys, which made her feel like she really was returning home. The surprising part of the night was that her simple B & E turned into a double homicide, so she ended up pulling a double.

Grissom went home and fed Alex breakfast. He decided that he wanted to spend a couple hours with Alex before having Anya watch him while he slept. Things did not go as smoothly as he had planned. Alex threw his food at breakfast, so Grissom cleaned him up and then they moved into Alex room to play. Alex however decided that he did not want to play in his room, so he ran down the hall and began trying to shake the gate at the top of the stairs.

"Alex!" Grissom called as he chased after. He bent down and picked up Alex, "Alex, you cannot pull on the gate."

"No!" Alex grumbled before hitting his father on the head.

Grissom was caught off guard and put him down. Alex immediately took off down the hall to his parent's bedroom. There was a TV on the dresser, which Alex began to slap at. Grissom picked him up again and took him downstairs. They sat on the couch and he turned on _Sesame Street_.

After a few minutes Alex scooted off the couch and headed towards the kitchen. Just as Grissom was about to follow, his phone rang, "Grissom," he answered as he made his way to the kitchen to see what Alex was doing.

"Hey, how's it going?"

He smiled at the sound of her voice, "I'm losing control to a one-year-old."

"Well, he is nearly two," she offered.

"Yeah, that's not helping."

"Alright, what's happening?"

"Well, he's running away, hitting me, shaking the gate at the top of the stairs, ignoring me when I tell him 'no,' and right now he is pulling the silverware out of the drawer and throwing it on the floor."

She tried not to laugh, "Gil, he's testing you."

"What?"

"He's realizing that you are here to stay and he is seeing what he can get away with when you are around."

"What do I do?"

"Be firm; don't let him get away with anything. You can always ease up later, but if you start off easy, he'll walk all over you."

"How do I do that?"

"For starters, tell him 'No'. He needs to clean up the silverware. If he doesn't listen, don't let him leave until it is clean. Remind him that if he doesn't listen, he must be tired and he can take a nap."

"Thanks, I hope it works. How's your case?"

"Not bad, I should be heading home in a couple hours."

"Great, I'll see you then."

"Good luck."

After he got off the phone he took Sara's advice, and was surprised to see it worked. Then they went back to watching _Sesame Street_. After that, they read some books.

They were both very happy to see Sara walk through the door just before lunch. After eating lunch together, they all went to sleep. Anya took over with Alex when he woke up from his nap, allowing Sara and Grissom to get their sleep before work that night.

* * *

Over time they fell into a routine like most families did. They spent as many early mornings together and Anya took care of Alex in the afternoon and evening. Then Sara or Grissom would put Alex to bed at night. Anya kept one monitor in her room so she could care for him at night. They went on like this for the next few months.

They were finding their way at work as well, at least until the murder of little Rachel Morris. Her six-year-old lifeless body was found behind her elementary school. Grissom, Catherine and Sara found themselves assigned to the case.

Neither woman was overly excited about working together, but they accepted the assignment and the three left the lab. Grissom could feel the tension. Catherine spoke mainly to him, rarely saying anything to Sara. Sara knew that the other woman still did not trust her, so she kept her distance as well. This left Grissom in the middle.

The women were however professional. Anything case related got their full attention, and for that they were civil with each other. Casual conversation between the two did not exist.

Catherine spoke with the mother at the scene. "Mrs. Morris I am so sorry for your loss, but there are a few questions I need to ask."

"It's Ms., I'm not married, but go ahead."

"Sorry, when did you last see your daughter?"

"She left for school this morning on the bus like every other day." Carol Morris said as she stared off to the spot her daughter was found.

"Is there anyone who might want to hurt Rachel?"

"No, no one," there were tears forming in the woman's eyes.

"Was anything out of the ordinary happening?"

"Nothing."

Once the evidence was collected, the three went back to the lab to start analyzing everything. Sara walked into the layout room where Grissom and Catherine were looking at photos of the scene. "Hey Cath, didn't you say that the mom saw Rachel get on the bus?"

"Yeah, it was the last time she saw her daughter."

"Well, the bus driver says that he waited outside their house, and Rachel never came out this morning."

"Well she said that Rachel got on the bus, but she didn't actually say that she saw her get on the bus. We can talk to her again and have her clarify. What about the bus driver? Are the other kids on the bus backing up his story?"

"No," Sara responded, "The Morris house is his first stop in the morning."

"That's convenient," Catherine said.

"He did agree to give a DNA sample. So far nothing links him to the girl today."

"So we have conflicting stories," Grissom interrupted, "Let's follow the evidence for now and see where it leads."

"Look, I'm telling you two that the mother is really grieving. There is no way she could have hurt her daughter," Catherine argued. "Besides, what about the bus driver. How do we know that he just was fascinated by Rachel and it went a little too far, so he dumped the body?"

"That is so far out of left field! Catherine we both know that is not true. Parents are capable of killing their kids and you are not doing the girl any favors by ruling out a possible suspect because you can't believe that she would do it."

Grissom turned to Sara. "Sara, we cannot make judgments at this point."

"Me, I am not the one rushing to judgment!" Now not only was she upset with Catherine, but Grissom also. How dare he question her ability to remain impartial.

"Sara, let it go," he warned her.

"She chewed her cheek for a second, then responded, "Fine," then she picked up the evidence collected, "I'll get these to trace and DNA." With that she was gone.

Grissom gave Catherine a look that said, _do not say another word._ "For now examine the evidence. I am going to check with Doc Robbins on the autopsy results."

The autopsy revealed that Rachel had been beaten to death around seven or eight in the morning. If it was seven the mother was the best suspect and if it was closer to eight, they needed to look at the bus driver.

Wendy gave the DNA results to Sara, which she gladly accepted and then eagerly walked down the hall to find Catherine and Grissom. "Wendy just finished running the DNA samples. The scrapings under Rachel's fingernails belonged to her mother. There is no evidence to suggest that the bus driver was anywhere near her that morning." She stood waiting for a reply.

"Let's re-interview the mother. Sara you go with Jim and talk to the mother." Grissom said. Catherine started to object, but was stopped when he continued, "Sara is going because you have other evidence to finish running."

Sara stood on the porch as Jim knocked on the door of the Morris home. When the door opened. She introduced herself, "Hi Ms. Morris, I am Sara Sidle with the Crime lab and this is Detective Jim Brass. Could we talk with you?"

"Come in," she stepped from the door and motioned them inside.

"Did you actually see Rachel get on the bus this morning?"

She thought for a moment and then responded, "No, she went out the door and I just assumed she got on the bus."

"Let me get this straight," Jim started, "You let your six-year-old go out the door by herself."

"I don't have the time to watch over everything she does," the mother answered defensively.

"You don't have the time?" Sara asked shocked at what the woman had just said and the callousness with which she spoke.

"Look I had a job to get to-"

"Oh you mean as a cashier at the Tangiers?" Jim asked. "Only they let you go two days ago." At her surprised look, he continued, "Did you think we wouldn't check?"

"I think you need to leave."

"Okay, but we'll be back with a warrant, and Officer Jones here," Sara pointed out the window, "And myself will wait right here until it comes."

The warrant arrived and the search revealed a recently bleached bathroom and blood in the girl's room. During her interrogation at the Police Department, she crumbled in front of Jim and Sara. She admitted with a tear-filled face that she never wanted to be a mother and the more time that went by, the worse it became until she couldn't take it any more.

Sara's heart broke for the little girl. All she wanted to do at that point was go home and tell her son how much she loved him, but it would have to wait while they tied up the loose ends. She then left to finish her report at the lab.

When she got back to the lab, she was walking past Grissom's office when he called out to her. She thought about ignoring him, but decided that would be childish. She stopped and collected herself for a moment, and then turned to walk into his office.

"I hear you got a confession."

"Yeah, she never wanted to be a mother, and thought she would make that happen." There was no emotion in Sara's voice.

"You did a good job on this case."

"Really, did you tell Catherine the same thing?" Grissom immediately picked up on the sarcasm in her voice.

"Sara?"

"What?"

"Is there a problem?"

"Are you serious?! Grissom…" Her mouth started forming words, but she was so frustrated that no sound came out.

"Why are you so upset?"

"I'm upset," her voice was starting to rise, "Because you questioned my impartiality in front of Catherine, and to make it worse, she was the one jumping to conclusions. Not me!"

"Sara calm down." He said as he stood to close the door and blinds to his office, and then stood directly in front of her.

"Gil, it is one thing to call me on my ethics, but Catherine was even less impartial than I was, and you said nothing!"

"I couldn't."

"What does that mean?"

"If I had said something to Catherine in front of you, she could have accused me of playing favorites, of taking your side because of our relationship."

"So this is my punishment for returning to Vegas. Catherine gets to be right when she is wrong and I get to be wrong when I'm right. So glad I came back!"

"Sara, we have to watch ourselves around the lab."

"Grissom, I expect you to treat me with the same respect you have for the other CSIs, no better and no worse. You had no right to treat me like that!" With that she stormed off.

It wasn't until she got to the parking lot that she remembered that they had driven to work together that day. Her pride did not let her return to the lab, so she sat outside until Grissom emerged from the lab, "Forgot I drove, didn't you?"

She wanted to smack the smirk off his face. "Just unlock the door."

The ride home was completely silent.

_

* * *

TBC…_


	19. Chapter 19

**Running Away**

Chapter 19

_(AN: Thank you so much for the encouraging reviews, you all are wonderful! Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order: SVU.) _

* * *

When they arrived home, silence continued to surround them. Sure they each spoke to Alex and to Anya, but not to each other. More accurately, Grissom would try, but Sara would not respond. She wasn't exactly giving him the silent treatment, but she was still mad and did not want to get into it in front of Alex and Anya.

Once they had all eaten lunch, Sara put Alex down for his nap and then went to the bedroom she and Grissom shared. She began to change for bed when he walked in to the room, "Alex asleep?" He asked in an attempt to break the silence.

"Yep," was he simple response.

At her cold reply he prodded, "What is your problem Sara? Why are you still so upset? I apologized, what more do you want?"

Now Sara was pissed. She stood and spoke in a hushed scream. "My _problem_ is the fact that you don't get why I'm upset, and by the way you…never…apologized!"

"I-"

Sara didn't give a chance to argue, "You told me your reasons, you did not apologize."

"In that case I am sorry."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because you are upset," he said with a smirk.

"Aghh! Gil, if you're not going to take this seriously, I'm going to bed." She turned toward the bed and he grabbed her wrists and turned her back around to face him. "Let go," she ordered, but he ignored the order.

"No, now you get to listen to what I have to say." She stood looking stoic and he continued. "Sara, I am sorry. I am so concerned with how things look to outsiders, that I forgot to consider how I was making you feel. You are right; I should have said something to Catherine. Hind sight is twenty/twenty and I realize that she was in fact the one jumping to conclusions, and you were just trying to point that out to both of us. I'm just learning how to balance all of this: you, work, Alex. It is all new and I don't want to risk your professional reputation or mine."

Sara nodded, "I can understand that, but don't you think that by questioning my ethics in front of others you _are_ hurting my reputation?"

He thought for a second and dropped his head, "I am sorry Sara."

She sucked her lips between her teeth, as she put her hands on the sides of his face and brought his head up to look at hers. "I know. We are both trying to find our way. Just don't do it again." She finished with a smile, "But if you do, I'll call you out on it, and I won't care who is around."

The threat was taken seriously, but he returned the smile, kissed her and then pulled her into a tight embrace. "I love you," he whispered into her ear. It was the first time it was said since they got back together.

"I love you," she said as she tightened her hold on him.

* * *

Alex's second birthday was that Saturday. The day started with a package arriving in the mail addressed to Alex. He worked very hard at opening it and with some help from his parents, it was eventually opened to reveal two wooden puzzles inside. One puzzle had pictures of cars, trucks, airplanes, helicopters, and trains. The other puzzle had pictures of emergency vehicles. Sara read the card out loud to Alex:

_Happy 2nd Birthday Alex!_

_Love,_

_John & Casey_

Alex played with his puzzles for awhile then took a nap before his party. Sara and Grissom had invited some friends over for dinner, cake and ice cream. Alex relished the attention from everyone, and became very excited when he saw the presents.

"My prewsens!" He announced to everyone.

"Yes Alex, presents," Sara said, "But not until after cake."

"Cake now?" He asked with pure innocence.

"Yes, cake now," Grissom said as he brought the cake to the picnic table everyone was seated around, including Alex who was kneeling so he could see the table.

Everyone started singing _Happy Birthday_. When they were done he blew out his candles with a little help from Lindsey. Everyone pretended not to notice the fact that he spit on the cake in his attempt to get rid of the flames on the candles.

Once the presents were open, everyone just sat around and talked for a while.

Greg sat with Lindsay and Alex and Alex's new toys. "Alex how old are you?" He asked the toddler.

Alex just looked at him like he was speaking Latin.

"Can you say _I'm two_?"

"I two," Alex replied with a smile.

"Good, now show me two fingers." Greg demonstrated with a peace sign, and then helped Alex to show two fingers as well. "Great. Now, how old are you?"

"I two!" He hollered as he held up two fingers. Then he got up and ran to Sara, "Momma, I two!"

"Yes Alex, that's right!" Sara cheered her son.

Then he showed his two fingers to his dad, "I two!"

"Good Alex, you're two," Grissom said showing his son the same two fingers.

He eventually made his way around to everyone telling them each that he's two. The adults all smiled and laughed at his newly acquired skill.

Before long it was time for the others to leave. This was followed by Alex crashing off his sugar high, so his parents put him to bed.

They made their way back downstairs. They both had the night off work, so they decided to just have a quiet evening at home together. They settled on watching _The Big Chill _on TV. As the movie started Sara stood and walked into the kitchen. She returned a few minutes later with popcorn and a couple sodas.

They sat cuddled together watching the movie for the next hour and a half watching the movie and sharing the popcorn bowl. When the movie ended, neither was ready to move. They were both very comfortable, so when _The Goodbye Girl _started they watched it as well.

When the second movie ended they were both laying down on the couch. Grissom's arms were wrapped around Sara's upper body. She turned in his embrace and they just laid there looking at each other. Sara could tell his mind was working on something. "What are you thinking?"

He held her closer as his hands began rubbing her back. "Marry me."

"What?"

"Sara, will you marry me?"

Sara's eyes grew wide as her chest began to tighten. She was saved by a sudden urgent cry from upstairs. They both ran up the stairs and into Alex's room finding a sobbing vomit covered two-year-old.

"Oh, sweetie," Sara said as she lifted him out of the crib. Alex was still crying as he reached for Grissom. "Can you hold him while I get this cleaned up?"

Grissom nodded and held his tired upset child. No sooner had his little head went down on his father's shoulder than the poor little guy threw up again, all over himself and Grissom. The look on Grissom's face was priceless and it took a lot of restraint on Sara's part to keep from laughing, but sorrow for her son quickly overtook the urge to laugh.

"Shower," she said.

"What?"

"If you get into the shower with him, it will be the easiest way to clean off both of you."

Grissom carried Alex to the bathroom and carefully took off both their clothes and handed them to Sara who threw the clothes and Alex's bedding into the washing machine. While Grissom and Alex were in the shower she collected new pajamas for Alex and then went into the bathroom. She watched in awe as Grissom carefully rinsed off Alex's exhausted body taking great care not to cause any undue discomfort. His little head remained resting on Grissom's shoulder the whole time. When he was finally clean, Grissom handed him to Sara so he could wash off his own body while she dried and dressed Alex.

Fifteen minutes later, large towels were spread in the middle of their bed with Alex curled up on top of them, and Sara and Grissom lay on either side of him.

Sara woke up to see Grissom still asleep with his arm over Alex's waist. She smiled at the scene. Alex had thrown up four more times during the night, but was now finally sleeping. Suddenly his eyes popped open to see Sara smiling at him.

"Good morning," he smiled back at her. "What?" He asked when she continued to smile.

"Ask me again."

"What?"

"Ask me again."

A smile of recognition spread over his face as her hand reached to meet his. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes." Her smile became even larger as did his as their hands entwined over their sleeping son.

* * *

They were leery of giving Alex anything to eat or drink, so Sara went out to the store to buy some Pedialyte to try to keep him hydrated.

She climbed into the car and pulled onto the road. She then pulled out her cell phone and dialed.

"Munch," came the answer on the other end.

"Hey John."

"Sara, what's going on?"

"Thank you for the puzzles, Alex loved them."

"Good I'm glad. Did he have a good birthday?"

"Birthday, yes. Night after, not so much."

"Why?"

"Sick."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I'm going to the store now to buy some Pedialyte."

"Poor guy."

"Poor mom and dad." She heard his laugh on the other end. Changing the subject she added, "He asked me to marry him."

"Really? What did you say?"

"I was going to say that we weren't ready."

"What do you mean you _were going to say_?"

"Well I was trying to find the right words, but Alex woke up and I never got a chance. Then this morning I told him _yes_."

"Sara, why would you tell him _yes_ if you are having doubts?" She could hear the concern in his voice.

"Because my doubts are gone."

"What?" John asked confused.

"He jumped right in when Alex got sick. He didn't try to pass him off on me to handle alone. He was right there all night, and I started thinking what am I fighting this for? He is a great father. He loves me. I love him, so why fight it." She didn't realize she was smiling until she caught her reflection in the rearview mirror.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"So when is it?"

"I've only been engaged for 45 minutes, I'll get back to you."

"Fair enough."

"Thank Casey for the puzzles for me too."

"Will do, take care."

"You too, bye."

"Bye."

_

* * *

TBC…_


	20. Chapter 20

**Running Away**

Chapter 20

_(AN: I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to be happy with what I wrote, and now I finally am. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order: SVU.) _

Sara woke up to a cold, empty bed. She wasn't sure how long ago he had left, but it must have been awhile. She glanced at the clock, _Almost dinner time._ She decided that she should also get up and into the shower.

She turned on the hot spray and stepped under it. Her body immediately relaxed. After a minute or two she reached up to grab the shampoo bottle. As she did so, she caught a glance of the solitaire on her left hand. She smiled realizing that every evening for the last week she had woken up, forgetting about the ring until that first glimpse.

It took Alex a couple days to recover from the flu, but once he had and their life was back to normal, Gil had surprised her with the solitaire. They had yet to really discuss details as far as when and how, but they had moved forward in their relationship. They had made a deeper commitment to each other.

As Sara made her way down the hall to the kitchen she could hear her favorite guys making dinner.

"You're just in time for tacos," Gil smiled at his fiancé.

"I help Momma!" Alex held up a spoon to his mother.

"You did? Thank you."

They sat down and ate. After dinner Sara gave Alex a bath, then read a book, and then it was bedtime.

When she returned to the living room, Grissom was working on evaluations. "I thought those weren't due until Friday?"

He looked at her over the rims of his glasses for a second, "Honey it is Friday."

"Thursday Gil."

He licked his lips in an attempt to hide his smile, "Friday Sara."

"It can't be. Can it?"

He picked up the remote and pushed the _Guide_ button. The television guide appeared, and the day and time clearly read _Friday 7:54_. Then he turned it back to the National Geographic Channel.

"How did I lose a whole day?"

He was still trying not to smile or laugh at her, but he did find it funny that she really was off by an entire day. She was sitting next to him on the couch. He reached over and began messaging her shoulders. "You've worked everyday for the last eight days, and how many of those turned into doubles?" He didn't wait for an answer, "Your internal clock is all off kilter."

"I guess," she said but he couldn't help but notice the worried look on her face.

"What's on your mind?"

"What?" His words brought her out of her thoughts, "Oh nothing," she shook her head and walked to the kitchen to pack their lunches for shift that night.

* * *

The drive to work was extremely quiet, actually the whole night had been unusually quiet, and Grissom was getting worried. "Sara."

She just stared out the window lost in her thoughts.

"Sara," he nudged her.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine." She forced herself to perk up.

"Sara what is on your mind?"

"Nothing," she lied and it was obvious, but she didn't want to get into it.

"Sara, what is going on with you? You obviously have something on your mind."

She thought for a moment, but decided it wouldn't be any easier later, "I'm late."

"No, we're fine. We have plenty of time before shift-," it suddenly hit him. "You're late?"

She nodded before she spoke, "I should have started Wednesday. I thought it was Thursday, so I wasn't that worried, but it's Friday. I'm on the pill I should have started already."

He sat there in shock with his hands locked on the wheel.

She could sense his unease, "Gil, I have been so careful. I don't know, but maybe I was a little too late in taking it, or I may have forgotten it when a shift ran over. I don't think I did, but maybe. I guess anything is possible."

"Pregnant?"

"I may not be. I could get a test in the morning."

Silence.

They pulled into the lab's lot. Sara's heart was beating a mile a minute. "Gil, say something please."

"I don't know what to say." He opened his door and exited the car.

She knew he was caught off guard, so she decided to let him have some time with it.

After assignments were handed out, he made his way to his office to finish the last of the evaluations. His mind was not on the work at hand though. _What if Sara is pregnant? I love Alex, but could I really handle two young children? _

He tried to focus on the papers in front of him once again, but his eyes began to wander to the 4x6 picture of Alex and the tower he was so proud of building. _I did miss out on Alex's first year. It would be nice to start from day one. I wasn't even there when Alex was born. Maybe this one would be a daughter._ He shook his head, deciding that he needed to put all of this on hold, because he could not leave the building until the evaluations were turned in to Eklie.

At the end of shift, Sara stuck her head in the door, "Are you done yet?"

"No, I still have about an hour," he said apologetically.

"Well, I want to get home. I'm going to catch a ride with one of the guys."

"Okay. Sara?"

"Yes," she turned, her eyes showed her eagerness for him to continue.

"I really should be done in an hour. Could we talk when I get home?"

"Sure," with that she turned and left.

* * *

He walked in the door to find her sitting on the couch reading a magazine.

"Hey, did you finish the evaluations?"

"Yes, finally. Where are Alex and Anya?"

"At the park. I thought we should have a few minutes to ourselves-"

"About that, I want you to know that I am sorry about the way I reacted. I was just caught completely off guard. I'm not upset. I mean five years ago I never would have thought that I would be a father, but now I cannot imagine my life without Alex."

"Gil-"

"Sara, I really want to finish this." She nodded for him to continue. "I was sitting at work today thinking about everything that I missed out on with Alex and how now I can get another chance. I guess what I am trying to say is that I hope you are pregnant."

Her eyes fell to her lap, "I got my period."

_

* * *

TBC…_


	21. Chapter 21

**Running Away**

Chapter 21

_(AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order: SVU.) _

* * *

"Do you have any idea what you are saying?" Sara pushed herself up with her elbows then her hands until her back was leaning against the headboard. Her mind was too tired to absorb the information.

"Sara, I know exactly what I am saying. I never thought that I would want this as badly as I do." His head lay on his pillow as he looked up at her, hope filling his eyes.

"But a baby?" _Is he serious?_

"Yes," he pushed himself into a seated position next to her.

"Do you know what you are asking for?"

"Yes."

"Never sleeping when you want to, or need to?"

He looked her in the eye.

"Diaper explosions that go all the way up the back? Colic, spit up, and massive amounts of laundry?" She rambled off the cons.

He nodded, "A new person? Part you, and part me? A brother or sister for Alex? An opportunity for us to be parents together, from the very beginning?"

"Thousands of dirty bottles in the kitchen. Never being able to leave home without packing for every possible scenario?"

"Sara," he took her hands in his, "I want this, but if you don't I'll understand."

She saw the glint in his eyes, "I didn't say that."

"So you do want another child?"

"I didn't say that either. Look, I need some time with this. I mean I never really thought that much about having a child, then I did and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world, but I need _us _to be absolutely sure before we take this any further."

"I can live with that."

"Let's both take some time to really think this through. We'll talk then. I'm not saying no, Gil. I am just too tired to make a decision like this right now, alright?"

"I can live with that." He wrapped his arm around her and she leaned into his shoulder. "I hear your breasts get bigger during pregnancy," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Gil!" She tried to hide her laugh as she swung a pillow around her body only to have it collide with his opposite shoulder as she laid her head on another pillow.

"It was just a question," he responded as his head lay down next to hers.

* * *

Sara was the first one up later that day. She showered, dressed, and went downstairs to start dinner.

"Hi mommy," Alex called as she stepped off the last stair.

"Hey baby," Sara smiled at her son working a puzzle with Anya. "I'm going to make dinner, are you hungry?"

"I help?"

"After you finish with your puzzle, then you can help with dinner." This was a trick Sara learned early on in Alex's quest to help. It gave her enough time to take care of some things she wanted done before Alex came into the kitchen. She rushed around filling a pot with water, turning on the stove, opening a jar and pouring the marinara sauce into a pan, and most importantly cutting the vegetables for the salad.

When Alex came in a few minutes later he was able to put the greens into the salad bowl, then he added the pre-chopped carrots, tomato, avocado, celery, and cheese. When he was done, Sara gave him the silverware to set on the table while she drained the pasta.

"Alex, come here," she called to him from the kitchen.

Alex ran into the kitchen a couple seconds later with wide eyes.

"Can you go wake up Daddy?"

"Yes!" Sara nearly missed what he said as he bounded up the stairs.

Grissom was still in bed, but just beginning to wake up when he heard Alex bang the door open. He quickly closed his eyes and pretended to still be sleeping as Alex began jumping on to the bed. "Wake up Daddy! Wake up! Dinner ready!" Alex stopped when he saw his father wasn't moving. He stopped jumping and crouched down next to Grissom's face and looked curiously at his closed eyes.

Suddenly Grissom's eyes popped open, his hands grabbed his son's shoulders, and he nearly screamed, "Rrrrroar!" Then he smiled, plopped Alex on the bed, and began tickling him.

Alex screamed, "Aahhhhh!" Then his laugh became so loud and bubbly and contagious that eventually father and son were both laughing.

Downstairs Sara and Anya were talking about Alex's day when they heard a scream followed by laughter, "Mission accomplished," Sara said as she handed the garlic toast to Anya and followed her to the table with the salad.

* * *

Grissom had been called into the lab early, while Sara stayed at home to put Alex to bed before leaving for work herself.

On her way to the lab her cell phone rang. She unclipped it from the visor and smiled as she quickly glanced at the caller ID. "Hi John," she answered.

"Hi Sara. I'm just calling to see how you are doing."

"I'm fine, what about you? Aren't you up a little late?"

"Late shift, I just got home. Casey's working even later than me, and I was lonely."

"So you call me when you are lonely?"

"Well…"

"Does Casey know about your dependence on me?"

"Uh…"

"Does she know that you think about me?" Sara could hardly keep from laughing.

"Alright!"

"Relax John, I won't tell if you won't." The innocence of her voice was cut with her own laugher.

"Sara!"

"What?" This time she was able to stop the laughter.

Now John was laughing at her attempt to play innocent. "How is Alex?"

"He's good. Active as ever."

"What about Gil?"

"He's…he's good."

"What was with the hesitation?"

Sara inhaled deeply, and then slowly let it out. "No, nothing. He's fine. He's just suddenly become very interested in having another kid."

Silence.

"Munchkin, you there?"

"Wow."

"Yeah." Sara pulled into a parking space at the lab, turned off the engine, and sat back in her seat as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know. Between keeping up with Alex and endless shifts at the lab, I'm just not sure I have the energy for another one. I mean would it be fair to the kid to do that?"

"Well-"

"And Gil works just as much as I do, if not more. How is he going to manage another child?"

"Have-"

"A baby! There is no guarantee of sleep with an infant. I don't think he realizes that."

"Maybe-"

"I mean I look at Alex now and see how much he has grown. I can see him actually thinking actions through and I can't believe he is the same tiny boy I had to put in a bouncer on the bathroom floor just so I could take a shower. The same baby who would fall asleep in my arms while I watched the news.

"You miss it?"

"Yes, but I just wish I knew if I really could, if we really could, do it all over again."

"I can't help you with that."

"I know, thanks for listening though."

"Anytime. Take Care."

"Bye John. Oh and any time you feel lonely feel free to call," she used her best sultry voice.

"You're going to get us both in trouble," he mocked, "Bye."

Sara hung up the phone, climbed out of her car and entered the lab.

Grissom was at a scene, so she went to the locker room to get ready for shift. Once her things were put away, she pulled out her phone and sent him a text message: _Breakfast later?_

His response came only a few minutes later: I'll find you after shift.

_

* * *

TBC…_


	22. Chapter 22

**Running Away**

Chapter 22

_(AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order: SVU.) _

* * *

They decided on a café with outdoor seating. It was early in the day and so not terribly hot. Sara sat sipping her latte and Grissom his black coffee. "So," Grissom said.

"So," Sara responded as she fingered the rim of her cup.

"Sara, you are the one who suggested breakfast," he reminded her.

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize that made me solely responsible for the conversation." She flashed him a smile.

He returned the smile as he replied, "It doesn't. I'm just curious what is on your mind that can't be discussed at home."

She nodded, "I've been thinking a lot about what we talked about." She had been looking down at her coffee and chanced a glance at him.

He was watching her, "And what are you thinking?" He prodded.

She took a deep breath, "I'm thinking that I wouldn't even consider this with anyone but you, and the more I think about it," she paused, "The more excited I get. I mean, caring for an infant is a lot of work, but it is also the most amazing thing I have ever done. I think I want to do it again." She did not even try to hide the smile on her face. "I was never against it Gil. I just need us to be sure, because there is no going back."

"I want another child Sara, but I only want to proceed if that is what you really want as well."

"That is just it. It is not about _want_, but rather _ability._ Can we really do this? Gil, understand that it means even less time for us," her hand motioned between the two of them, "Less sleep for everyone, and probably sibling rivalry between Alex and the baby. The more I think about it, I really would like to have another child, but if we do, we need to do it completely together. I know it was my choice, but I raised Alex for the first year and a half alone. While I don't regret having him, I really don't want to do it by myself again."

"Sara, you are not by yourself. I'm not leaving, and for the record I did not leave the last time either. You did." He immediately wished he could put the words back in his mouth.

"Ouch."

"I'm sorry." He reached across the table to caress her hand.

"No, you shouldn't be. It's true, but now we need to look to the future." She sucked her lip for a second, "I have a proposition if you're interested?" When he nodded she continued, "I will go off of the birth control and we'll just see what happens. No pressure, no worry, just wait and see."

"I could agree to that."

Their food arrived at that moment. Once the waiter left, Sara picked up her fork then looked at Gil, "By the way."

Distracted Gil looked at her as he placed his napkin in his lap, "Yes?"

"Breasts do get bigger during pregnancy, but not as big as they get when you nurse," she gave him a wink and began to eat her omelet as her fiancé sat stunned for a minute.

* * *

The next few months went by with Sara trying to get used to the irregularity that accompanies going off the pill. She stuck to her word of not stressing over getting pregnant. Grissom tried. He never said anything to her, but she noticed the eagerness at the end of the month. She would remind him that it can take awhile, and because she just went off the pill it could take even longer. She actually became slightly more relaxed not having to worry about remembering to take the pill everyday, but Grissom became slightly more stressed. He knew that at anytime he would hear the words that would change his life again. He wasn't afraid, but rather anxious.

They decided to keep their decision to try for a baby to themselves. No need to bring others in before anything actually happens. This was just between the two of them, and they enjoyed having a part of their life just between them.

Then life began to change. It happened gradually. Sara started feeling rundown. The once incurable insomniac now had to drag herself out of bed and was the first one asleep after work. She didn't really seem phased by this, but Grissom was.

What did rattle her was what had her running from the bed one evening. She nearly didn't make it to the bathroom in time. When she finally finished at the porcelain alter she turned to find Grissom standing behind her. She could read is expression like a book. She wiped her mouth and brushed passed him saying, "I'll pick up the test after work."

"That's all I am asking," he said as he handed her some soda crackers to help her stomach settle.

The test proved what they both suspected. They both just looked at the double line for a minute, then a slow smile spread over Grissom's face; it became so large it eventually spread to Sara's mouth as well. They spent part of the celebrating, and the rest of the day found Sara sound asleep.

That night Sara was in the break room waiting for assignments when she was joined one by one by her coworkers. Catherine was the last before Grissom came in with assignments. "You alright?" She asked Sara.

"Uh-huh, why?"

"You look pale," her face squinted slightly as she spoke.

"I didn't sleep well," she responded dryly, not ready to discuss the real reason. She was saved from further conversation regarding her skin hue by the man partially responsible for her condition.

"Assignments. Nick, Catherine Two DB's, suspicious circs at a home in Henderson. Warrick, Greg you are with me on a missing child."

The others started to leave as Sara sat confused, "Uh, are you forgetting something?"

"Sara, you are staying at the lab to process evidence from the missing child case as it comes in."

She sat for a minute, when he turned to leave she stopped him, "You're serious?"

"Yes," he replied unsure what the problem was.

"Grissom how is me sitting here waiting for evidence to show up going to help the case more than being in the field collecting said evidence?" Game on, now she was pissed.

"Everyone has their assignments, get started. Time is important in missing children cases; I am not going to waste it debating assignments with anyone." He turned and left the room, leaving a confused Warrick and Greg in his wake. They offered Sara a sympathetic shrug and then followed their supervisor out the door.

Sara sat and huffed for a minute before beginning her day of lab confinement. She was a professional and would do what needed to be done, but the longer she spent in the lab the more irritated she became. She would never last another eight months confined to the lab.

When the child went from _missing_ to _definitely kidnapped_, the shift morphed into a double. Grissom, Sara, Warrick, and Greg were going over details with Brass in a layout room. As they finished, Warrick and Greg left to tackle new tasks for the case. Brass and Grissom were about to leave when Grissom turned to Sara, "Why don't you head home, get some sleep?"

"What?"

"Go home, sleep."

"I heard you; I just don't understand why you would send me home when the rest of you are pulling a double?"

"Because you need your rest, and you should eat something too."

She stood there staring him down for a minute before responding through gritted teeth, "I am pregnant, not dying. Yes I need my rest, but so do you, so do Warrick and Greg. Yes, I need to eat well, but so do you, so do Warrick and Greg."

"I'm going to give the two of you a minute," they heard Brass say as he made a quick exit.

"So I guess were telling people," Grissom sarcastically said.

"Shut up, I've had it with this porcelain doll routine. I can go in the field, and I can work, and the baby will be fine."

"You cannot be in the field."

"Grissom I worked in the field through my seventh month with Alex without a problem."

"Sara, you could get hurt at a scene, not just you, but the baby also."

"Yes, Grissom I could get hurt at a scene, but so could you, so could anyone here."

"You are the only one who is pregnant."

"Aghh!" Sara clinched her fists and threw them in the air. "I am fine, and I am careful. I could get hit by a car on my home or choke on my dinner. I am cautious when I work, I am not careless, and if I feel like something is not safe for me to do, get this: I won't do it!"

"Sara you don't really have a history of being careful with your own safety."

She glared at him, and then spoke calmly but bluntly, "I haven't done anything careless since I got pregnant with Alex." With that she was out the door.

Grissom stood for a second and then made his way to his office. He tried to look through the file in front of him, but could not concentrate. Jim walked in a minute later, before he could say anything Grissom cut him off, "I don't want to talk about it."

"It's not that, get your kit," his solemn face met Grissom's questioning gaze.

Ten minutes later they pulled up to the wooded area where the body of the eight-year-old had been found. His little figure badly beaten and bruised. The remainder of the double shift passed with only conversation of the case. The group deeply saddened by not only outcome, but also the fact that they did not yet have a viable suspect.

Grissom had to stay late to bring the sheriff up to speed, but Sara was done for the day, and they both had the night off so she was ready for some sleep. After their earlier conversation she never would have told him how tired she was. She had one goal for the night, to go home and crawl into bed.

Sara slept so soundly that she did not even notice Grissom slip into bed next to her.

_

* * *

TBC…_


	23. Chapter 23

**Running Away**

_(AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. Again, I am sorry for the long wait. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Law & Order: SVU.) _

**Chapter 23**

Sara was still asleep when Grissom woke, but he did not want to wake her. Regardless of what she said, he knew that she needed her rest and he was going to do what he could to give it to her.

He made his way downstairs and cooked dinner. After he, Anya, and Alex ate, Anya retired to her room and Grissom and Alex read some books before Alex's bedtime. At nine o'clock, Sara finally joined him, but she was too nauseous for the lentil dish the others had enjoyed, so she snacked on some saltines and ginger ale for a bit.

It was a nice night so they sat on the porch. Sara with her small snack and Grissom with a cup of coffee. It was silent for awhile. Sara was willing her stomach to clam while Grissom just enjoyed the quiet.

Eventually it was he who broke the silence, "Feeling any better?" Sara just shrugged. "I've never seen you sleep that long."

The comment just hung in the air. Sara knew that he was alluding to their earlier discussion, but she was not in the mood to argue, so she nibbled on another cracker and took a small sip of ginger ale. When she did speak she opted to change the subject a little. "This is the worst time. I am so hungry, but if I eat what I want to eat right now, I'll see it again shortly," she finished with a small chuckle.

"That bad?"

"It'll pass eventually. With Alex it was pretty much when I woke up that the nausea was the worst. Empty stomach I guess, but if I could keep just a little something in there, I was fine." She paused for a minute, "At least until I brushed my teeth, then there was no holding back, bad gag reflex."

Grissom gave her a sympathetic smile. "Are you warm enough," he asked when he caught her brief shiver.

"I'll be fine."

"We can go back inside?"

"No, I like it out here."

He nodded, but when she soon shook again, he went inside to retrieve a sweatshirt for her.

She smiled at his thoughtfulness, "Thank you."

A few more minutes passed, "Sara, earlier when you said that you worked in the field through your seventh month," he paused as she nodded her confirmation that she knew what he was talking about. "How did you do that? I mean, how did you know you were safe to do that?"

She did not hear judgment in his voice, only concern so she decided to be open and patient with him. "I trusted the people I was working with, and I avoided potentially dangerous scenes."

"Any scene could be dangerous."

"Yes, but some have less of a threat than others." She thought for a moment, "Gil, you have to remember that there are threats in normal everyday life. I could be in a car accident, fall down in the shower, the list is endless, but that doesn't mean I am going to take unnecessary chances with my safety or the baby's. I need you to trust me on this."

"I do trust you; it is the rest of the world I don't trust."

"Well Gil, you're going to have to get passed this then because I can't deal with morning sickness, weight gain, pregnancy hormones, exhaustion, swollen ankles, and an over protective you. Everyone has their breaking points."

"I can accept that, but it won't stop me from worrying about your safety."

"I have no doubt about that, but let me have final say in what I can and can't do."

He nodded his reluctant agreement. "So you told Brass."

"I what? No I didn't tell anyone."

He couldn't help but laugh at the confusion on her face. "Yes _you_ did."

"Gil, I have not told _anyone_ yet!"

"Sara, he was still in the room when you went off on me."

Recognition eventually appeared on her face, "Shit. I did. I had forgotten about that part."

"Well, I can guarantee you that he has not forgotten."

"Do you think he told anyone?"

"No, Jim wouldn't do that behind our backs. As long as we are discussing this, when do you want to tell people?"

"I don't know, I guess in a month or so, when we know that everything is alright."

"Alright, next question: When do you want to get married?"

"Well, now that I'm knocked up, I guess I _need_ a husband." Sara used her best damsel-in-distress voice.

He laughed at her mockery. "Seriously Sara, you've had that ring on your finger for nearly six months now, and we haven't set a date yet."

"Okay, tomorrow?"

"Isn't that a bit soon? How can we plan anything for tomorrow?"

"What's to plan, I don't want an ornate ceremony, and you don't either." She stood and walked the couple steps to his chair and straddled his lap. "I would be completely happy if it were just you and I. Honey, this is Vegas we can get married anytime we want, and either we do it now or after the baby is born." She looked him directly in the eye, "I am not getting married in maternity clothes."

"Tomorrow it is."

"That was fast."

"I've waited long enough; I'm not waiting another seven or eight months." He leaned forward and kissed her.

When the kiss deepened, she pulled away. At his questioning glance she scolded, "Sir, I am getting married in the morning, I can't be fooling around with you tonight. What would my betrothed think? Besides, I'm getting my appetite back. Lentils in the fridge?" She didn't even give him time to answer before she walked inside.

"Tease!" He called after her.

* * *

The next morning Grissom made a reservation at one of the more subdued wedding chapels in Vegas. He wore his best suit and Sara put on one of her nicer dresses. Alex was dressed in his nicest outfit as well.

An hour later Sara and Gil exchanged _I do_'s in front of their son and Anya. It was a simple ceremony and the couple could not have been happier.

Later that day they put Alex down for a nap and then celebrated their nuptials in the traditional way. Before falling asleep Sara asked, "So when do we tell the others about this?" She shook her left ring finger as she spoke.

Her husband thought for a moment before replying, "I will make you a deal. I get to decide about the wedding and you can decide about the baby?"

"I can live with that."

Soon they drifted off to sleep.

* * *

That night the whole team was gathered in Grissom's office awaiting assignments when Judy brought in a flower arrangement. "Um, the card says _Mrs. Grissom_, but I thought maybe it was a typo," she spoke nervously.

Sara felt her face flush as Grissom responded, "No mistake," and pointed to Sara.

"Oh," Judy replied. "For you Sara…Congratulations." Judy smiled and left the room, obviously confused.

Sara sat looking at the flowers trying to stifle a huge grin as the others in the room started throwing out all of their questions.

_

* * *

TBC…_


	24. Chapter 24

**Running Away**

_**(AN: Thank you so much for all of the reviews! Disclaimer: I do not own CSI)**_

**

* * *

**

"What? Gil, what the hell is going on?" Catherine asked her friend.

"Flowers were just delivered to my wife. Is that a problem Catherine?"

Sara was glad she had the flowers to hide her smirk behind.

"When did this happen?" Sara appreciated the genuine smile with which Nick's question was delivered.

"Why weren't we invited?" Greg innocently asked.

"Sara and I were married yesterday, and we wanted something small, so the only people invited were Alex and Anya."

Warrick nodded at Grissom's announcement. "Hey congratulations you two," he said as he shook Grissom's hand, and then surprised Sara by kissing her cheek.

One by one the others offered their congratulations as well before exiting the office to begin their shift.

Sara sat in the chair waiting for Grissom to speak, but he just leaned against his desk with a slightly smug look on his face. "Well that was interesting, but you could have warned me before the flowers arrived."

"It was more fun watching the surprise on your face than it would have been to tell you it was coming. How do you like them?"

"Gee, I thought we were surprising the others not me. They are beautifully dead."

"This was more fun for me. Yes, I know, but a potted plant wouldn't have had the same effect." He smiled and looked out his office window briefly before risking a quick kiss.

Over time their marriage became yesterday's news, quickly replaced by other random bits of gossip. Both Sara and Grissom were relieved when things calmed down around them a bit, but they also knew it was short-lived. As soon as their coworkers learn of their other news there will be many more questions to answer.

"Sara, you've entered your fourth month, at some point people are going to start asking questions."

"I know."

"Sara."

"I know!" She sighed loudly and then plopped down on the bed. "I don't know why I am so apprehensive about telling people."

"Honey, these are our friends they are going to be happy for us."

"I know, but I don't think everyone has forgiven me yet."

"Why are you worried about what others are thinking, that's not like you?"

"I don't know, I guess pregnancy makes me self conscious, you know body morphing into something else faster than you realize." Sara shrugged.

Gil thought for a moment, "Sara who hasn't forgiven you for leaving, and why does it matter so much to you?"

"Catherine hasn't forgiven me for coming back yet, and it matters because she is your friend."

"Oh. Oh well."

Sara smiled at his small show of support as she leaned into his shoulder when his arm went around her. "You know Alex will be three next month?"

"I did know that, but wow three. It's hard to believe."

"Hopefully his third birthday will be better than his first, or you are on your own, because my stomach can't take that again."

Grissom laughed lightly at her statement.

The next night Sara, Warrick, and Catherine were searching for evidence at a condo. The owner's girlfriend had disappeared and they were looking for evidence of foul play. Warrick handed Sara the bottle of luminol, "Sara could you get started in the bedroom?"

"Uhm, actually would you mind doing it?"

"Okay," he was a little confused, normally Sara was eager to look for blood evidence when a woman was missing. "You alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, I just," _well now is as good a time as any_, "forgot to restock masks in my kit."

"Why would you need a mask?" Sara just raised her eyebrows and looked at him as realization set in. "You're pregnant?" She nodded in response.

Just then Catherine walked in the room, "Who's pregnant?"

Sara and Warrick looked at each other for a minute before Warrick replied, "Sara."

"Oh that's why the sudden wedding," Catherine mumbled to herself.

Sara took a deep breath and let it out as she turned, "Cath, you have something you want to say to me?"

"No, I was just surprised by the sudden marriage announcement and now I understand why."

"Catherine," Warrick scolded.

"No, she's entitled to her uninformed opinion." Sara threw her hand up and walked away. As she picked up her kit, she said, "I'll work the perimeter."

The three worked in relative silence. Warrick tried to make conversation with both women, but neither was interested. A few hours later they returned to the lab where Sara and Warrick began processing some of the evidence when Catherine was sent out to work a scene with Grissom.

"So, I hear you and Sara are having another child," Catherine casually remarked.

"She told you?"

"Yeah, after Warrick asked her to spray the luminol."

"She didn't did she?"

"No. So how did this happen?"

Grissom just glared at her over the rims of his glasses.

"You know what I mean."

"No Catherine I don't know what you mean."

"Alright." She held up her hands in defense, "Are you happy?"

"Happier than I've ever been."

"Really?" Again he looked at her wondering what she meant by that. "Well, then I am happy for you. Both of you."

"Thanks Catherine. If you really are, maybe you'll share that with my wife."

"I'll think about it."

"Cath-erine," he sounded out each syllable.

"Look, I still don't trust her. It's hard; I was here when she left. You never admitted it, but I saw how it affected you."

"Does this feel like deja vu to you too?"

"I know, I know. It is my problem and I will get over it."

"That is all I ask."

Catherine nodded to herself, "Okay, how about if I treat your bride to breakfast after shift?"

"That would be a great start."

_TBC... _


	25. Chapter 25

**Running Away**

_(AN: This chapter was the most difficult to write so far, and I never would have been able to get it done without help from **Mingsmommy **and **Smacky30.** They are both amazing, and their help and suggestions made this chapter so much more than it was. Thank you both so much! Disclaimer: I don't own CSI)_

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**Chapter 25**

The aroma of frying bacon wafted throughout the small restaurant, permeating the air with an unmistakably tempting scent. Now the smell was a little appealing to Sara despite her vegetarian stance, but a month ago it would have sent her running for the nearest restroom. She closed the menu, took a sip of the decaf coffee the waitress delivered only a minute before, and looked up in time to see Catherine open the door, the sun brightly shining behind her caused Sara to squint until the door closed.

"Hey, you order yet?" Catherine asked as she took the bench seat across from Sara.

"Nope," Sara shook her head as she handed Catherine the menu.

Catherine took only a brief minute to make her decision, and when she closed the menu the waitress appeared, "What can I get you ladies?"

"Cheese and mushroom omelet and an orange juice," Sara ordered first.

The waitress turned her attention to blond across the table, "And you?"

"Coffee," Catherine practically pleaded, "And the Denver omelet." She smiled as she handed the menu to the waitress.

"Alright, they'll be up shortly." She slid her pen behind her ear and dropped a couple silverware bundles before leaving the two women in silence.

Their first few attempts at small talk included menu options, the pros and cons of decaf coffee, and the weather. After the waitress brought Catherine a cup of very caffeinated coffee and she had expressed her gratitude to the server's retreating back, they knew it was now time to get to the more important topics.

"So," Catherine began hesitantly, "Congratulations on the baby, by the way. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Thanks," Sara gave a slightly nervous half smile as she began to unravel the bundle of silverware before her, "And no we're not going to find out."

"Really?" The blonde's eyebrows rose. "You're not even a little curious?"

Laughing just a little, the younger woman shrugged. "More than a little but I like the idea of a not knowing until it's born."

"That's sweet." There was no sarcasm in Catherine's voice; she'd promised Gil she would try and she was a woman of her word. "Does Alex know yet?"

"Well, we've told him, but I'm not completely sure how much he really understands." She absently stirred the decaf in front of her. "I don't think it becomes real for kids until there is some sort of visual proof."

"Yeah," the older woman nodded in agreement, smoothing her napkin into her lap, "At that age seeing is believing."

Both women were really making an effort, but it was still an uncomfortable conversation. Sara was the first to break.

Taking a deep breath, she began, "Look Catherine, I know we're here because of Gil." She rested her hands, palm up on the table in an unconscious gesture of openness and vulnerability. "I know that it's important to him that we get along, but I don't know what it is you want from me? I mean I know we were never best friends before, but we were friendly."

"You're right we were," Catherine was prevented from going on by the arrival of the breakfast plates.

Once the food was delivered the waitress asked, "Anything else I can get you ladies?" as she popped her gum.

"No, thank you."

"No, thanks"

Smiling, the friendly woman moved on to wait on another table.

Sara turned back to her breakfast companion, "So, you were saying?"

Catherine hesitated very briefly before asking, "Can I be frank?"

"I've never known you to be anything but." Sara cocked her head slightly and smiled as she spoke.

The older woman quirked half a smile in response; then paused as if choosing her words with the utmost care. "Sara, when you left, I didn't know what exactly had happened between the two of you. I am not deaf, dumb, and blind. I had suspected something was going on, but it was your business and I thought the two of you would say something when you were ready. I was willing to be patient. That is until you left without warning. Gil returned from that seminar a different man." She shook her head slightly, "Threw himself further into work than I have ever seen him, and was short with everybody," she thought for a second as her eyes roamed the table as if she were looking for the right words to use. "After a while he started seeing Sofia, but he still didn't really…" She shook her head slightly, "Seem like himself. The old Gil was gone, and I missed my friend."

"Catherine," Sara tried to make her voice gentle, mother to mother, "I had to do what was best for my son and myself."

"Was it really best for Alex or was it just easier for you?" Catherine eyed the woman before her; she didn't want to hurt Sara, but Catherine needed to say it.

The words stung, mainly because if Sara was honest there was some truth to them. Her eyes fell as she reached for her orange juice and took a sip. After swallowing, she chanced eye contact with Catherine.

"Sara," Catherine sighed softly, fiddling with the edge of her napkin. "If I were being honest, I would say that Gil is happier now than I have seen him in years if not ever. He is not spending all hours at the lab, he's a proud father who's eager to share Alex's accomplishments, and I see his face light up when you enter a room." She chewed on her lip briefly, idly toying with her coffee spoon. "I am happy that that he has found this contentment in his life. I just don't want to see him this fulfilled in his personal life only to lose it because you've changed your mind again." She held up a hand to quell the other woman's attempt to interrupt. "You left last time; I was here to pick up the pieces, even though I didn't completely understand what pieces I was picking up."

"Thank you."

Catherine's confusion showed in her response, "For what?"

The brunette's gaze was soft and slightly misty. "For being there for him. You may not believe me but that was the second hardest thing I've ever done. I never wanted to hurt him, but I would be lying if I said I didn't know I had." She paused as she took another sip of her juice. "For what it's worth, I have no intention of leaving again. When I came back I knew it had to be for good. I couldn't do that to him or to Alex; I'm not a cruel person." She unconsciously touched her stomach. "Besides if I thought there was a chance I'd leave, I never would have agreed to have another baby with him."

"You mean this was planned?" The words were out before Catherine could stop them. Realizing how rude her question was, she said, "Sorry. That was…the wrong thing to say."

"Yes," Sara couldn't help but laugh at the faux pas. She gave the woman a nod before adding, "It was planned, and for what it's worth, Catherine, Gil asked me to marry him nearly a year ago, long before I got pregnant."

"Well, I guess that means congratulations are in order." After a pause she added, "Next time we do this over drinks."

Sara lifted her glass of orange juice in a toast, "Agreed."

The tone of the conversation relaxed enough so they could actually eat the rapidly cooling food before them.

"So," Catherine's voice had lost its tension as she spread jelly over her whole wheat toast, "How is the pregnancy going?"

Sara smiled bashfully, "Pretty well actually. I'm past the hump with the morning sickness, and I've hit the energy rush of the second trimester."

"Oh, I remember that. One day you feel like you've had five cups of coffee. Then _boom_ the third trimester starts and just getting out of bed some days is too much." She sucked a bit of jelly off of her thumb. "Have you had an ultrasound yet?"

Sara reached into her purse, "Two days ago." She proudly handed the image across the table.

"Oh wow," Catherine's voice took on the wistfulness of a mother briefly living vicariously through a mother-to-be. She studied the picture as Sara watched.

Snorting, the expectant mother finally said, "You can look all you want, but the baby's turned the wrong way. The tech who performed the ultrasound said that even if we wanted her to she couldn't tell the gender."

"Well, that proves the kid is yours and Gil's." Catherine handed the image back to Sara.

"What do you mean?" Sara curiously asked as she carefully tucked the precious picture back into the side pocket of her purse.

"Only giving up the information it chooses," she smirked.

They finished their meals with more casual conversation, but before leaving Catherine asked the question she had debated in her head for the last half hour, "Sara, you said leaving was the second hardest thing you've ever done."

Sara nodded.

"What was the hardest?"

Sara looked Catherine in the eye and responded, "Coming back."

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TBC..._


	26. Chapter 26

**Running Away**

_(AN: This chapter was so much fun to write; I hope you'll see why. Huge thank yous to my betas **Mingsmommy **and **Smacky30 **for their time and incredible talents Disclaimer: I don't own CSI)_

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**_Chapter 26_**

The sunlight was just beginning to filter through the blinds as two hands moved to rub the sleep from two blurry eyes. He rolled across the mattress until his feet found the floor and then pulled his body from the soft bedding. His vision was now clear enough to find the doorknob and once he turned it, the door opened to the hallway. He could immediately smell the soft scent of waffles and his feet hurried to the stairs. He held on to the railing as his toes searched for each step below him. After twelve such searches he turned to the kitchen and climbed up on one of the stools at the counter.

"Good morning sweetie." He was greeted by a soft voice and a smile.

"Morning Mommy," Alex replied while watching as his mother poured another cup of batter onto the waffle iron.

"Are you hungry?" She asked the question even as she went about preparing a plate with a waffle, strawberries, and syrup.

"Yes," he nodded and pulled the plate towards him as she set it down. While taking a bite of waffle and syrup he asked, "Is today my party?"

"You've asked that question everyday for a week. Ever since Daddy and I told you you could have a party with your friends." She gave him her biggest smile, "And today, Alex, the answer is yes! Your party is today, and that means that today you are-" she was interrupted before she could finish.

"Three!" He shouted as he raised his fork straight up into the air.

"Yay Three!" She joined him in salute to the day before pulling a stool up to the counter to eat as well.

A minute later he could hear footsteps coming down the stairs. He turned on the stool in time to see his father step off the last stair. "Daddy, today's my party!"

"It is?" He asked playfully, "Are you sure?"

Alex, suddenly nervous quickly turned his head in the direction of his mother. As his eyes enlarged before her, she bit back a laugh and just nodded her assurance. He then turned back to his father, "I'm sure Daddy." He nodded energetically as he spoke.

"Well then, happy birthday," he tousled the boy's hair as he spoke.

His mother quickly swallowed before speaking, "Your plate is on the counter."

"Thank you." He gently massaged her shoulder, and then walked around the counter and poured syrup onto his waffle. When he picked up the plate to take to the area of the counter where his family was eating, his wife's words stopped him.

"Don't forget the strawberries; you need to eat more fruit." She had been holding a bit of waffle with her fork, and upon finishing her sentence, she plopped the bite into her mouth.

"I eat fruit." He defended.

"Honey, jelly doesn't count as fruit." She raised her eyebrows at him and gave a sympathetic nod.

"I don't eat jelly…I eat the all-fruit stuff you buy." He smiled back at her.

Alex continued eating as he watched the exchange between his parents, knowing full well that if the issue were vegetables, he'd be getting the lecture.

"Fine Gil, but when was the last time you ate an apple?"

"The other night at the lab. You should remember; you're the one who handed it to me."

"The other night? What other fruit have you had since then?"

"I'm eating strawberries right now," he plunked a berry into his mouth.

"What about the two days in between?" His wife rolled her eyes.

"If I promise to eat more fruit can we end this conversation?"

"That's all I ask."

The family continued to eat with small conversations laced between bites. After breakfast, Alex helped his father clean up the kitchen while his mother went to take a shower and get dressed.

His daddy stood at the refrigerator drying his hands on the dish towel that hung from its handle, "Alex, go upstairs and pick out some clothes for today. I'll be up in a minute to help you get dressed."

"Okay Daddy, but I can get dressed by my own self. I just need help with the socks." Alex pointed his finger at his daddy as he spoke.

"Well then, I'll be up in a minute to help you with your socks." Grissom returned Alex's serious tone.

Alex made his way back up the stairs. He could still hear the water running in his parents' bathroom as he passed their room. Once through the door to his room, he turned on the light and walked to the dresser. He opened the drawer containing his shorts, pulled out a denim pair, and closed the drawer before repeating the same action with his shirt drawer. This time he chose his I love New York tee shirt. After grabbing a pair of underwear and socks from another drawer, he stripped off his baseball pajamas and sat on the floor. He pulled the underwear over his feet and up his legs before standing to complete the job. Then he sat down and pulled his shorts on and up his legs. When they reached his waist, he couldn't get the snap together so he left it open. Finally he pulled the tee shirt over his head and worked to find the arm holes. He had just finished when his father walked into the room.

"You ready for your…" His Daddy stopped talking as soon as he entered the room. Alex wasn't sure why, but it looked like his father was going to laugh.

"Did I do good Daddy?" Alex was proud of himself and wanted his father to be proud also.

His father bit on his lip before saying, "You did great." Now his father was the one wearing the proud smile. "How about if I help you with the snap?"

"Thank you Daddy." Alex walked over to his father.

Gil got down on his knees and snapped the shorts at the waist. "Alex, that is one of my favorite shirts of yours. I really like the picture and the words."

"I like the picture too," Alex smiled as he tried to look over his shoulder to his back.

"You do?"

Alex nodded still trying to see his back.

Gil paused for a moment, "Well what if we turn the shirt so you can see the picture and words too?"

"Good idea Daddy," He began to pull his arms out as his father rotated the shirt half way around. Then Alex pushed his arms back through the sleeves.

"There," His daddy stepped back to take in his son's appearance.

"That's better," Alex looked down at the picture and words on his shirt. Then he picked up his socks and handed them to his father, "Socks."

"Alright, sit down."

Alex did as he was told and a minute later his sock-clad feet took him down the hall to his mother's room. The door was open and he found his mom sitting on the edge of the bed trying to put her own socks on her feet.

"Momma, I got dressed by my own self!"

"You did? Great job."

"You know what Momma? If you need help with your socks, Daddy can help you like he helped me."

His mother chuckled a little, "I think I can get my socks on without Daddy's help. It's just a little hard for me to reach."

"Why?" Alex asked.

"Well," His mother sat thinking for a minute. "My stomach is getting bigger, so it's harder for me to bend over."

"Why?"

Again his mother was quiet for a minute. "Well, the baby is growing and that makes my stomach bigger, which makes it harder to bend over and put my socks on."

"So the baby won't let you put your socks on?"

His mommy nodded, "In a way."

"That's not nice. You have to tell the baby to let you put your socks on," Alex insisted. "I could tell the baby," Alex became excited at the idea of talking to the baby.

"How are you going to tell the baby?" She looked at her son with raised eyebrows.

Alex put on his best thinking face, "I know!" Alex raised one finger as he spoke and then kneeled down on the bed next to his mother, putting his face next to her rounded belly, "Baby!" He shouted as she gasped and a hand flew to her mouth. "Momma needs to put socks on. You have to let her." He went back to sitting, "Okay Momma?"

"Okay," She nodded and laughed as she pulled the second sock over her foot.

"Momma?" Alex cocked his head.

"Yes?" She turned to face him.

"When will the baby talk to me?"

She smiled and put an arm around his shoulders. "Oh, not for a while sweetie. We won't even see the baby for three more months, and then it will be even longer before it will talk."

Alex made one exaggerated nod, "Momma?"

"Yes?"

"When's my party?" Alex quickly switched gears.

She looked at the bedside clock, "In about two hours."

"When is two hours?"

His mommy took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Two hours is about the time it takes you to watch two Sesame Streets."

"Okay," Alex sat for a second before jumping up and running out the door.

He spent the rest of the morning helping his mom with party preparations while his father went to the store. When he returned a short time later he brought helium-filled balloons, pizzas, and a cake with him.

Alex ran around the back yard while Anya and Gil tied balloons to the patio furniture, and Sara finished preparing the fruit to go with the pizza, but when the doorbell rang he took off for the front door, with Sara in close pursuit.

A few minutes later Sara and Alex accompanied five of the neighborhood kids to the backyard. They stopped on the patio and Sara introduced the kids Gil didn't know. "Kids, this is Alex's Dad, Mr. Grissom. Gil, this is Jose, Stevie, and Kelly, and you already know Cameron and Leo." Sara pointed to each child as she said their name.

Before Gil could say anything, Stevie spoke up, "You look like my grandpa."

Alex watched his daddy freeze and when his mommy also said nothing, it was Anya, who without missing a beat said, "Really? To me he looks like Alex's dad. Who wants to build sand castles?"

The group of children took off with Anya for the sand box leaving Alex's wide-eyed daddy and his nearly snickering mommy in their wake.

After sandcastles, the kids took turns trying to break open the piñata. Because they were only three and four-years-old, there were no blind folds used. After about half an hour the piñata finally began to break, and fifteen minutes later it was in pieces on the ground as the kids all scrounged for treasures of candy and small toys.

Next came lunch and cake. Alex felt like a king when his friends all sang _Happy Birthday_ and he got to blow out three candles. Everybody cheered when he got them all out with the first breath.

After the presents were opened, his fully sugared up friends went home, leaving Alex playing in the backyard with his new toys. His playtime was interrupted by his mother, "Alex, it's time for your nap."

"No Momma, I three, no nap!" He whined, but it was a losing fight and soon he was in bed with the door closed. He tried to fight the sleep, but eventually the sleep won out.

About an hour later Alex woke up and quickly remembered his new toys in the backyard. He dashed out of bed and ran down the stairs. From the living room he could see his parents and their friends on the patio. Alex went to the door, "Hey! I want out too!"

His mother was sitting in the lounger next to the door; she stood and opened the door for Alex, "You're up," she smiled, "Look who stopped by for your birthday."

Alex looked around as people he recognized greeted him. He saw Mrs. Willows, Lindsey, Mr. Stokes, Mr. Brown, Mr. Brass, and Greg who his mom wanted him to call _Mr. Sanders, _but Greg always said to call him Greg. Sometimes adults were too confusing for Alex. Right now though his focus was on his new toys, and that was where he went. Lindsey came over and played with him until his mom said dinner was ready.

It was Alex's favorite foods: veggie dogs and chips. There was more fruit salad too, but Alex focused on the chips. Then there was more cake and when his dad told him that there were some more presents, Alex began to jump up and down.

Once all of the presents were opened, his parents' friends left. His daddy helped Alex find a home for his new things while his mommy cleaned up yet again. Alex dressed himself in his superman pajamas and then read stories with his father.

"Just one more, okay?" Alex was insistent as he held up a single finger.

"Alright Alex, one more, but that is it," his father gave in to the three-year-old.

As his daddy read the final page, his mommy joined them in Alex's bedroom. She was dressed in different clothes than she was wearing earlier, so Alex knew that his parents were leaving for work soon. When the book was finished, Alex was nearly asleep and lay right down. His mommy covered him with the blanket and whispered, "Goodnight Alex," before kissing him.

His daddy also kissed his son and whispered, "Happy birthday kiddo," before they both left the room. Alex was asleep before the doorknob clicked closed.

It was the best birthday ever.

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__TBC…_


	27. Chapter 27

**Running Away**

_(AN: I couldn't have completed this chapter if it hadn't been for **Smacky30 **and **Mingsmommy.**_ _They gave me so much support, guidance, and time, that I cannot thank them enough. Disclaimer: I don't own CSI)_

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**_Chapter 27_**

"Sara, the doctor is ready for you now." The overly cheerful dirty blonde announced from the doorway that separated the waiting room from the exam rooms.

Grissom stood first, extending his hand to his wife to help her to her feet. The three exchanged pleasantries before the nurse led the way to the exam room they would use for this visit. They were in the homestretch now, only a week to go before Sara's due date, and Sara was eager to hear how far she had dilated To her this visit was to be the continuation of the countdown that began the week before when she was informed that she was nearly a centimeter dilated. She hoped today she would be told she was closer to two or even three centimeters, the more the better in her mind at this point.

The nurse checked Sara's vitals and then gave her an exam gown. "Change into the gown and Dr. Brennen will be in shortly." She gave a final nod and closed the door behind her, leaving Sara holding the gown and Grissom sitting in the chair next to the exam table.

"You're in for a treat," Sara's tone was sweet, but its subtle sarcasm was not lost on her husband. When he cocked his head toward her, she continued, "Complete exam. The last time you were here, I was still able to keep my clothes on. Now, they check how dilated I am at every visit."

He nodded once as he took the shirt she had just pulled over her head. A second later her gown was on and her pants were handed to Gil along with her panties. He knew her new shape was uncomfortable for her, but he thought that pregnancy had made her even more beautiful. The thought of all that smooth, warm skin was definitely enough to raise his pulse a notch or two. He held the pants with one hand as he grasped her arm with the other and pulled her to him, kissing her with a passion that surprised them both. When they broke apart, Sara licked her lips, but couldn't hide the smile reflected in her husband's face as well. He turned folding the clothes and set them down on the chair he had just vacated.

A still stunned Sara asked, "What was that about?"

"My beautiful wife was standing in front of me wearing almost nothing. What response would you prefer I have?" His sincerity touched her. She blushed a little as she moved to climb up onto the exam table. "Here," he said as he once again offered his assistance, only this time to help her climb onto the exam table.

"Thanks," Sara took the proffered hand as she pulled herself onto the table. She remained sitting for the time being. "So, you haven't told me about work last night yet."

"There's not much to tell. Anyway it's only been a week, and you should be enjoying your time off, not worrying about work."

"Gil, I'm pregnant, not morphing into someone else." She gave a half smile. "At some point in the near future, I won't be thinking about work, but today I still am."

Before he could respond there was a soft knock at the door followed by the doorknob turning and the door slowly opening. "Good morning Sara," Dr. Brennen smiled as she offered her hand to Sara, "It's good to see you again Gil," the doctor continued, shaking his hand also.

The tall brunette set Sara's file on the counter and brushed a stray curl out of her face as she read the notes left by the nurse. "Well, your blood pressure looks great and I see you are up two more pounds." Dr. Brennen looked to Sara who nodded sheepishly.

"How are you feeling this week? Anything new going on?"

Sara took a breath, "No, nothing new."

"Alright, well lay back for me, and we'll check the heartbeat." Sara did as she was told as a drop of gel was placed on her stomach. The Doppler was set in place and almost immediately the strong thump, thump sound of their child's heartbeat was heard. Sara looked up to where Gil was standing next to her head; the smile on his face only caused hers to grow. "One forty-five, good," the doctor affirmed.

After the gel was wiped from Sara's skin, Dr. Brennen began to feel her belly. Sara immediately noticed the brief look of concern that passed over the other woman's features.

"Is everything alright?" She asked. Grissom looked up, his brow furrowing at the slight fear evident in his wife's voice.

"I'm just having a hard time figuring out the baby's position; we'll do an ultrasound before you leave today. First though let's see how you're progressing. Scoot your bottom to the end of the table and let your knees fall to the sides." Sara hung onto Gil's hand, partially due to the slight discomfort and partially because something wasn't sitting right with her.

"Good," the doctor snapped off her glove after the brief exam "you're dilated to three centimeters, and I would say about twenty percent effaced. You're on your way." She smiled as she patted Sara's right knee. "I'm going to get a portable ultrasound and be right back."

After she left, Sara looked up to Gil, "I'm glad you came with me today."

He was now worried, "Sara, what's going on?" She hadn't let go of his hand, so he wasn't about to either.

"I don't know, there's just something that feels," she bit her lip, "I don't know, it's…it's probably nothing." She tried to shake the thought from her head, as he gently caressed her forehead with his other hand.

A minute later the door opened as Dr. Brennen wheeled in the portable machine. Once again Sara's stomach was dotted with the cool gel, and seconds later they were looking at pictures of their child. The fear in Sara dissipated when she saw that her baby was moving and every inch of the little body looked perfect.

"Okay," the word replaced the fear Sara had felt earlier. "The baby looks good, but it is in a bottom down or breech position." She paused as she made eye contact with each of the parents, "You need to remember that the baby will continue to move right up until delivery, there is a chance that this will resolve itself."

"What if it doesn't?" Sara wasn't going to waste time with possibilities, she wanted to know all of the '_what ifs'._

The doctor took a breath, "If it doesn't we may need to perform a cesarean."

Gil felt the grip on his hand tighten, "No," his wife said defiantly.

"Sara, there is a very real possibility this will resolve itself. I know how you feel about surgery, and I would never encourage you to do something that wasn't necessary."

Sara nodded her response, but still was not comfortable with this new knowledge. Ten minutes later they were in the car driving home. Gil couldn't take the silence any longer, "Sara, there are worse things that could happen, remember the baby is healthy-"

"That's easy for you to say; it's not you they want to cut open." She was getting upset.

"Honey," he wasn't sure what had caused her reaction, but he knew the news had upset her. He chose his words carefully as he took her hand in his, "It's not about cutting you open, but rather making absolutely sure that you and the baby are healthy and safe."

"I know. I know," she was calm, but he could see the fear and uncertainty on her face. "I understand that, really I do, but...I don't want surgery, and I don't want to spend the next week knowing that it is coming. It would almost have been easier if it was a last minute decision, then I wouldn't have time to think about it, it just would have happened."

"This really has you upset, I know you don't like the idea of having surgery, but I didn't realize that it would affect you this much." He began to draw circles with his thumb on the fleshy part of her hand. She gave a slight nod and tried to smile as he continued, "Isn't the important thing that, at the end of it all, you're healthy and we will have our child here with us?" He wanted to calm her fears, but so far did not seem to be very successful.

Sara made eye contact for a brief minute before turning her attention out the window, absently watching the scenery go by until they arrived home. When the car pulled into the drive, Sara turned to her husband, "I'm going to go upstairs and rest for a little while." She quickly exited the vehicle and went inside their home.

Gil followed a couple minutes later. When he walked through the door, he caught a glimpse of Sara at the top of the stairs, turning into their bedroom. He watched until she disappeared from sight.

"Daddy," Alex was having a snack at the kitchen table, "do you want some apples too?"

"No thanks kiddo," he moved past the table and into the kitchen where he poured himself a cup of coffee before returning to join Anya and Alex at the table.

"Is everything alright, Gil?" Anya watched as he slowly drizzled cream into his coffee.

Gil glanced up and for a brief second looked like he was going to say something, but instead he turned his attention to Alex, "Alex, why don't you go play with your cars?"

"I'm not done yet," the child argued.

"You can eat your apple at the coffee table," Gil gestured towards the living room where Alex's cars and track were scattered over the floor.

"I can?" Before his father could change his mind Alex was off his chair and headed towards the living room with the saucer of apple slices clutched firmly in his hands.

Gil turned his attention back to Anya whose head was turned to the side. She was well aware that something was wrong. "The baby is breech, and Sara's upset that she may need a cesarean."

The words hung in the air briefly before Anya replied, "Well after the last time, I'm sure she was shaken by hearing that."

Gil's eyebrows shot up, "What do you mean?"

Anya wanted to take her words back, not realizing that Sara had never told Gil about Alex's birth. "Gil…maybe you should talk to Sara about this?"

"Maybe I should, but right now she's not talking. Anya, I'm worried about her; what happened with Alex?" Fear was etched into the contours of his face. He knew when Alex's birthday was, but Sara never really told him that much about the day Alex was born. Actually he never asked. In fact, all the things that happened during a pregnancy had never been important to him, at least not until Sara got pregnant again. He had never thought about the possible dangers of an actual birth, but he had a feeling he was about to find out.

Anya thought for a moment, glancing toward the stairs before turning her attention back to Gil. "Sara and I were neighbors before I started caring for Alex. I remember watching as her pregnancy progressed. We'd have tea together some afternoons and talk. Once her maternity leave started it became a daily event, but then one day she never showed. She had gone to see her doctor earlier that day and never came home."

The last sentence worried him. He knew his wife and unless something was really wrong, she would've shown, or at least called.

"I didn't know what was happening at the time," Anya continued, "but the next morning John Munch was using her key to let himself into her apartment." Anya smiled at how she was suspicious of John from the first day she met him. What kind of a man becomes close friends with a pregnant woman? "I knew who he was because he and Sara were friends and she introduced us when the three of us met in the hallway."

It took a lot of self control on Gil's part to keep from asking just how close Sara and John were. "What did he say?"

"He told me that Sara had gone in for a routine appointment, but they found that Alex's heart rate was low, so they kept her at the office for observation." Anya swirled the little bit of coffee left in her cup. "When the heart rate fell even further, she was sent across the street to the hospital. She called John and he met her there. He told me she was completely terrified. They induced her labor, and the doctor told her that if the heart rate fell any further they would have to take her for an emergency c-section. Apparently she came close at least three times when the monitors would sound and a rush of people would come into her room, but each time it quickly rebounded."

"I don't understand why she would be so against a cesarean, especially if Alex was in danger?" He was surprised at Sara's reaction, and a little confused by it as well.

Anya half smiled after taking a sip of her now cool coffee, "I don't think it was ever about her being against it, but more about her being afraid of what could happen." She paused as she gathered her thoughts, "Sara likes to be in control, and it's even more important to her when it involves her health or her child's. Granted, you're not completely in control when you have a baby, but you have even less control if you are taken to surgery."

"But if the baby is in danger?"

"You're assuming she's thinking with her head, but her fear has taken over the rational part of her mind." She took a breath, "Look Gil, you and Sara make your living seeing other people's worst case scenarios, and even though statistically everything may be alright, she sometimes has the mind set of '_how bad could this get'."_

He was starting to understand where some of this was coming from.

Anya looked to the other room where Alex sat moving his cars around the track. "He's a tough kid with a strong mother. In the end she avoided the surgery, but the experience scared her." Anya placed a hand over his that lay folded on the table, "She is strong, but even Achilles had his heel." She patted his hand and went to the couch where she picked up her partially finished blanket and began to crochet as Alex moved on to his dinosaurs.

Gil sat at the table letting it all sink in before standing and walking upstairs. His wife's eyes were closed as she lay on top of the covers. She was on her right side, so he lay down behind her, kissing her neck and laying his left hand over their baby.

Sara was evidently not asleep yet, and she slid closer into his embrace. "Sara?"

"Hmm?"

"Why didn't you ever tell me about Alex's birth?" He gently caressed her belly as he spoke, trying not to upset her.

Sara's eyes shot open, and she turned in his embrace to face him. "What do you mean?"

"Anya told me about his heart rate dropping." His hand moved to her cheek.

"Oh." She averted her eyes. "I guess I wanted to remember how happy I was, but not my fear." She swallowed hard. "Today that fear came back, and now I'm not sure what to do."

"Anya only told me what she knew through John, I'd like to know everything."

Sara used her hands to push herself into a seated position, her back resting against the headboard of the bed. Grissom moved in a similar fashion to sit next to her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she started.

"Everything had gone relatively well so far. I had been on maternity leave for a week, and I only had three days to go before my due date. My doctor had a family emergency, so I saw one of her associates…Dr. Ellis, I think."

Grissom waited patiently for her to continue.

"You know it's funny, the first time I met Dr. Ellis I didn't like him. He seemed pretty self absorbed, but this time was different. It felt like he spent an eternity looking for a heartbeat, and when he finally found it I was so relieved that I didn't even realize it was slow, until he told me. It was one-o-eight, but he didn't want me to go home until it got up to at least a hundred and twenty."

Sara absently placed her hand over her belly, "I stayed in the office with a monitor attached for about fifteen more minutes, but I don't think that the enormity of what was happening really sunk in. I knew the baby was going to be alright. I don't know why, I just did. The problem came when a few contractions hit and the heart rate fell below one hundred."

She picked up a pillow and set it on her lap, as she absently ran her fingers over the edge of the case. "When that happened I was taken across the street to the hospital and they induced my labor. The doctor said that if the heart rate stayed over one hundred, I could have the baby vaginally, but if it stayed below I'd have to have a cesarean." Sara paused.

Gil began to rub her back, "What happened next?"

Sara looked up for a moment, and then back to the pillow in her lap. "I kind of freaked. I was the only person this child had, and all I could think about was what if something happened during the surgery? Who would be there for him?" A moment of silence passed before Sara continued, "John had taken me to my Lamaze classes, so I called him, and he was there within twenty minutes. When he came in the heart rate had just dropped, and he was nearly run over by two doctors and a nurse. They stood over me discussing what to do as if I weren't even there. It just drove home the point that I needed to be there for my child."

"Within seconds the heart rate came back up and John and I were left alone. We talked for a while, watched some TV, and even played cards." At Grissom's confused look she said, "I had the epidural as soon as possible, so I barely even felt the contractions. When the pain first hit I didn't want it, but the doctor encouraged it in case I did need an emergency c-section, at least I would already be partially numb."

"This went on for a few more hours, there were two more near emergencies with the heart rate, but eventually I was fully dilated and was able to start pushing. Twenty minutes later Alex was born. His heart rate immediately rebounded to where it should be, and he was perfect in every other way," she smiled at the memory of how wonderful that moment was when she was told everything was alright.

"Did they ever figure out why his heart rate was low to begin with?" Gil asked, wanting as much information as possible.

"They thought that the umbilical cord had been compressed, probably by Alex's body weight."

Gil put his hand under her chin and moved it up so she had to look at him. "I am so sorry that you had to go through that alone." Her eyes briefly fell, but his nudge on her chin brought her back, "But you aren't alone this time. I won't let anything happen to you. I love you too much to risk losing you now. I will be there every step of the way, and while I can't promise you that you won't need a cesarean, I can promise you that I won't let them do anything that isn't absolutely necessary to you."

Sara burrowed against him, burying her head in his neck and he tenderly kissed her hair. "We've fought too hard, come through too much to let anything get in our way. OK?" He felt her nod against him. "Good," he murmured. "You're the love of my life, Sara. You and our children are the most important things in the world to me. Don't ever doubt that."

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TBC..._


	28. Chapter 28

_**Running Away**_

_(AN: A million thank yous for **Smacky30 **and **Mingsmommy.**_ _I couldn't have finished without them. Disclaimer: I don't own CSI)_

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**_Chapter 28_**

Sara shifted uncomfortably in her sleep, turning to her side. A few minutes later she twisted and turned some more before opening her eyes, instinctively grabbing her stomach. She glanced at the clock: three fifty-nine. A moment later, the pain subsided and she relaxed, falling back to sleep briefly before another one hit.

Once again her eyes popped opened to check the clock as her arms wrapped tightly around her abdomen. It had been seventeen minutes since her last contraction. She was more alert now, and once her body relaxed, she pulled herself to a seated position, leaning against the headboard.

She looked at the phone sitting on the bedside table, wondering if she should call her husband. If he was in the middle of something it could take him a while to get home, but on the flip side if he came home and it was nothing…well she didn't want him to waste the time. It was only the second one, and it could be Braxton-Hicks contractions, because she'd been having them off and on for the last few weeks.

She sat staring at the clock again waiting to see if another one came, convincing herself that if one more hit within the next twenty minutes she would call him, but if it didn't she would lay back down and try to get some sleep.

Realizing that clock watching wasn't going to speed things up she decided that some television might help the time pass faster. She picked up the remote from the bedside table, pushed the power button, and began flipping channels. She went through nearly all of them before settling on _Dirtiest Jobs _on The Discovery Channel. The next few minutes were spent watching Mike Rowe clean out septic tanks.

Eyelids drooping, Sara was just about to give up and call it a night when another contraction hit. This one nearly had her doubled over on the bed. When it finally subsided, she didn't even think twice, she picked up the phone and dialed Gil's cell number.

"Grissom." His tone told her that he was in fact in the middle of something, but as far as Sara was concerned it didn't matter, this was far more important.

"Hey, come home." She was tired and still recovering from the last contraction, so she was not in the mood for small talk.

"Is everything alright?" His concern was evident in his voice.

"Yeah, but I think I'm in labor, so if you could come home…"

"Sara, your c-section isn't scheduled for two more days."

Sara sat dumbfounded for a minute, "Oh, sorry…You're right…Forget I called."

He immediately regretted his words. Of course Sara would know if she was in labor, "Sorry. I'm on my way. Will you be alright for the next fifteen minutes or so?"

"Yeah, I'll be here." She looked around the room, knowing everything was about to change.

"I'm on my way." There was a pause before, "I love you Sara."

She smiled at the sentiment, "I love you too."

Next, Sara called her Obstetrician, who told her to go to the hospital and that she would meet her there.

Once off the phone with Dr. Brennen, Sara's nerves took over. She was still anxious over the idea of having surgery, but she would do what needed to be done. At least that was what she was repeating over and over again in her head. It did help to know that this time she wouldn't be alone, Gil would be with her. That thought continued until the next contraction hit. Then Sara was too busy trying to remember how to breathe while gripping the bedding for support.

Once the tension ceased, she climbed out of bed and got dressed. She pulled her fully packed suitcase out of the closet. She brushed her teeth then added the tooth brush to the already packed items. By the time she was done, she could hear her husband coming through the front door. In no time he was upstairs. Sara had never before seen the look of excitement mixed with panic that was on his face, but she found it adorable.

When their eyes met, "Hey," was all he could think of to say.

"Hey," she calmly replied. "We should get going. Dr. Brennen will meet us at the hospital."

"Are you ready?" He motioned to the suitcase.

"All set," she turned to look around the room, making sure she wasn't forgetting anything. "Will you tell Anya before we..." Her words were cut short when another contraction hit. She leaned on the door frame for support as Grissom grabbed her arm. He rubbed her back with one hand as he helped hold her up with the other. After a minute it was over.

"You alright?" He asked, suddenly concerned, and afraid to take his hands off of her.

"Yeah, but we'd better go." She let him help her down the stairs where she waited for him while he went to talk with Anya. When he returned they made their way to the car.

Once on the road, everything suddenly became very real for Sara as the fear of what was going to happen hit her. She stared absently out the window until her husband gripped her hand in his and brought it to his lips laying a soft kiss on the back. "You're going to be fine Sara; I'll be there, and I would never let anything happen to you."

It wasn't that she didn't believe him, but more that she knew if something went wrong he would be powerless to stop it. She managed a meager smile and gave his hand a squeeze. Her grip increased during the two contractions that hit as they drove. She would cramp up and he would remind her to breathe. The sight of Sara suffering made him want to get to the hospital as fast as he could so she could get some relief. He wasn't accustomed to seeing her in pain, and it bothered him to know he couldn't make it go away for her.

After what seemed like the longest drive of his life, they arrived at the hospital. He pulled up to the main entrance and, when Sara looked at him with a question in her eyes, said, "I'd feel better if you didn't walk through the parking lot." He watched as Sara turned to stare out the window. "Honey, why don't you go inside? I'll be there as soon as I park the car." He looked down at the hand Sara refused to let go of, "I promise," he lightly caressed the back of her hand with his other hand. Sara finally nodded and released his hand.

Grissom exited the car and walked around to open Sara's door and help her out. "I'll bring your bag after I park the car." He held her gaze for a moment before kissing her lips briefly.

"I guess I'll check in," her voice was distant as she turned and entered the towering building.

Sara gave the receptionist the information needed, and by the time Grissom returned from the parking lot they were ready to take her to a labor and delivery room. Sara reluctantly sat in the wheel chair provided as an orderly took them through seemingly endless beige colored halls until they finally arrived at their room.

Grissom was impressed with the size of the room. It seemed to be about as big as their living room at home. There was a wardrobe with drawers and a television in the open space where most people would have hung their clothes. On the far side of the room was a window with a view of the rooftop of another section of the hospital. It was still dark, but the floodlights lit the outside. The bed looked like most other hospital beds, and there was an overstuffed chair that he suspected many fathers-to-be had dozed in at one time or another.

A nurse followed them into the room, "Thanks Ben," she said as the orderly helped Sara up before leaving with the chair.

She then turned to the expectant parents, "Hi, I'm Elaine and we're going to spend the next few hours together."

"Hi Elaine, I'm Sara and this is my husband Gil." Sara forced a smile as both she and Grissom shook the other woman's hand.

"I understand you're having a cesarean?" Gil nodded his response, as Sara held herself up with her hand on the bed as the tension of another contraction took over. When he noticed his wife, Grissom was immediately at her side, giving support, encouraging her to breathe, and rubbing circles on her back.

"Contraction?" Elaine innocently asked.

"Mhhmm," was all Sara could manage.

"That's the sign of a real contraction, when you can't say you're having one." Elaine gave a pleasant smile. When it seemed the contraction had ended, she continued the orientation. "Sara, has your water broken?"

"No," she shook her head, as she leaned against the bed.

"Okay and when did your labor start?" She was making notes into the computer as she spoke.

"About four this morning."

Elaine looked at her watch, "About an hour and a half ago," she said to herself as she entered more notes. When she was done typing she went to a drawer and pulled out a gown. "Here's a gown to change into, you can keep your socks on if you like, but everything else comes off. The bathroom is through that door."

After Sara changed, she handed Grissom her clothes, which he placed in the suitcase. She then went over and sat on the bed where Elaine took her vitals then had her lay down before hooking up the fetal monitor and starting an IV in Sara's arm, Sara watched without saying one word throughout the process. "Dr. Brennen left word for us to alert the anesthesiologist when you arrived. He should be down in about twenty minutes to start your epidural, and Dr. Brennen should be here momentarily." She patted Sara's arm, "I'll be back in a few minutes, but if you need anything just push the call button."

Then she turned her attention to Grissom, "There's a television, but mom gets to pick the channel," she winked at Sara before continuing, "There's a lounge down the hall with food and drinks for you, but unfortunately Sara is limited to ice chips, which you'll also find in the lounge. We don't want any adverse reactions to the anesthesia." With that the cheery woman was gone, leaving Sara and Gil alone for all of two minutes before Dr. Brennen knocked on the door.

Sara exhaled deeply as she looked over to her husband, "Well, I guess we're on our way," she attempted a smile.

"Yeah," he smiled, unsure of what to say, but the silence was short lived.

"Good morning Sara, Gil," she shook the couple's hands and turned her attention to the computer screen. "Well, everything appears to be going fine. How are you feeling Sara?"

"Anxious," came the simple, trembling reply.

"I have no doubt." She patted Sara's hand before checking the notes again, "Well it looks like Dr. Laughlin will be down shortly to start the epidural, and about a half hour after that we'll move you across the hall for the procedure." She paused, making eye contact with each of them, "Any questions?"

They each shook their heads, "Alright then I'll be back to check on you shortly."

Once they were alone silence, a tense silence, descended on them. Gil was worried about his wife and decided to try to take Sara's mind off the impending surgery. "You know we still don't have any names picked out." He stood next to the bed, gently smoothing her hair away from her face.

"I told you, I can't give someone I've never met a name," she shifted in the bed in a futile attempt to get comfortable.

"I'm just saying we could throw some ideas out there and then see which one works best after the baby is born."

"Fine, what did you have in mi..." This one was a doozey. Once again Grissom offered what little help he could, but became nervous when he realized Sara was holding her breath as she turned on her side, bringing her knees up as far a she could, curling into a ball.

"Sweetheart, you have to breathe," he coaxed as she held his hand tight. His other was on her shoulder as he held her to his chest. "Sara," he used his best authoritative voice. "In and out; you have to do it. Come on, Honey." Sara continued to hold her breath in a futile attempt to make the pain stop, and he became increasingly worried. "Sara, breathe," he ordered, "You have to breathe."

The pain finally eased and Sara released the breath she had held.

"Honey, I know it hurts, but you can't stop breathing to fight the pain." He rubbed her back as she began to relax some.

"When you're in this position, you can do it however you want. I'm dealing with this the best way I know how." The words nearly caught in her throat. She was getting edgy as the pain got the best of her, causing more fear of what was to come to enter her thoughts.

"Sara-" his protest was interrupted by the arrival of Elaine who escorted a man Sara and Grissom had never met.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Laughlin," the stranger introduced himself, "I'll be taking care of your anesthesia this morning." After asking a series of questions and noting the answers on yet another form, he said, "Now we'll get started on the epidural." He took his equipment to the far side of Sara's bed. "Alright Sara, if you'll just sit up and face away from me."

Sara nodded and did as she was told, taking the pillow Elaine offered and holding it in front of her as she leaned into Grissom's tight embrace.

"Good, now I need you to round your back as much as you can." Sara could feel him applying something to her back, "There's going to be a small pinch as I numb the area." She grimaced and pushed into her husband as the pinch felt much larger than small. His tight embrace helped her to deal with the discomfort.

Dr. Laughlin turned his attention to Grissom, "Help her hold still, it's imperative that she not move." He continued to work, saying a few things here and there, but Sara wasn't paying attention. Instead she was concentrating more on what was to come. Between the fear and pain she felt tears fill her eyes.

Grissom held his wife with all of the strength he could muster. He felt her tense in his arms as the needle entered her back, and all he wanted to do was stop her from having to endure any further pain. He was so excited about what was happening, but at the same time, he had never worried so much about Sara. He knew she would make it through the next few hours. He knew she was looking forward to the reward at the end. However, he also worried about the toll the fear and pain were taking on her. He knew that in her heart of hearts, she was willing to endure anything for their children, as was he, but he wasn't sure how much he could handle watching her go through.

"All done," the doctor announced as he cleaned up his work area, Sara exhaled deeply and was allowed to lie back down.

Nearly a half an hour passed with casual conversation. Sara's mood lightened some now that the pain had subsided. The conversation turned to what had been happening at the lab and the new cases that Gil had been working on, as well as Alex and what they thought his reaction to the new baby might be. They watched the contractions appear on the monitor without Sara noticing any discomfort. The room had filled with a comfortable vibe.

That is until Dr. Brennen returned. "Are you ready to meet the newest Grissom?"

Sara's tension immediately returned and she grasped Gil's hand. He gently held her hand between his larger ones, worry for his wife filled his features. Elaine entered and handed a set of scrubs to Grissom, "Gil, you'll need these. You can change in the bathroom."

He placed a kiss on his wife's forehead and whispered, "I'll be right back." Sara nodded that she understood, but never took her eyes off of him until he entered the bathroom.

When he returned they were just getting ready to move Sara to the surgical room across the hall. As soon as he was in reach, she grabbed for his hand, and he took hers noticing how cold it felt next to his warm skin. Her grip increased with her tension. She didn't say anything as she watched every move the medical team made preparing her for the move across the hall. Before long they entered the sterile room.

The medical staff was going about their work in such a fashion that Sara wondered if they even realized she was there. She inhaled the disinfectant drenched air as a curtain was put up over her chest. That was particularly frustrating because she couldn't see what was happening to her own body. Her eyes darted around to the people she could still see, suddenly feeling claustrophobic in the large room. Too many people, too much equipment, and it was all closing in on her. She bit at her lip as she dug her nails into Gil's hand out of fear. She looked up to see his face and watched closely for a reaction to what was happening.

Gil held his wife's hand as the hustle continued around them. He quietly wondered how many cesareans were performed at this hospital every year. Sara was probably just a number to the staff, but she was everything to him and their children. He tried to stay calm as he watched Sara's eyes frantically search the room, for what he wasn't completely sure, but he was going to do everything he could to ease her fears. He didn't complain when her nails dug into the flesh of his hand. He just held her hand and bent down laying a warm kiss on her forehead. "You're doing great honey…You're almost done."

"Okay Sara, we're just about ready to begin." Sara could barely see the doctor, but easily recognized the voice, "First though, I want to make sure your anesthesia is sufficient, can you feel this?" Dr. Brennen asked.

Sara looked surprised, "No, feel what?" Her head shook as she looked back to Grissom's face. His eyes were somewhere over the curtain, but his hand made a loving sweep of her cheek.

"That's good. I'm going to make the incision now. Any minute you'll be a mom for the second time." That thought helped to ease some of her tension as she silently tried to only think about the baby and not what was happening on the other side of the curtain. Sara could hear some sounds and felt some pressure here and there, but she felt lost as to what was happening. She hated that feeling because whatever was happening was happening to her body.

"What's happening, Gil?" Her voice was soft and a little fearful.

Gil wasn't sure how to answer that, because he didn't really have a clear view. He knew she didn't want to hear about the doctor digging around inside of her, but he noticed the expression in Dr. Brennen's eyes soften. He couldn't help the smile that spread under his mask.

"Gil?"

His mouth slowly fell open, still unsure of what to say when a tiny cry called out causing Sara's face to suddenly beam.

"Congratulations," the doctor cheerfully announced.

Sara looked up to her husband as she watched the emotions play across his face as he caught his first glimpse of the child they had waited nearly nine months to meet. He began to tighten his grip on her. "Sara," his voice was husky, but his smile was large, "We have a son!"

Sara choked back the tears that threatened to fall, "A boy." Her lips trembled as a flood of emotion swept through her. She felt overwhelmed and complete at the same time. "Alex has a brother." She gave a shaky, tearful laugh, "Can I see him?" The child was wrapped in a blanket and handed to Grissom, whose hands trembled a little as he held his son for the first time. He held the baby where Sara could see. Tentatively, she touched a finger to the baby's tightly curled fist and instantly fell in love for the third time in her life. She gave the infant a kiss before he was whisked away by a nurse to be given the once over by the pediatrician. "Go with him Gil" Sara urged, finally relaxing, knowing that her baby was perfect.

"Are you sure?" He knew Sara's surgery wasn't over yet, and he didn't want to leave her if she needed him. He felt torn and ready to burst at the same time. Even finding out about Alex had not prepared him for this moment of utter elation. His heart was hammering in his chest and he was ready to cry. He wanted to be here for Sara, but he also desperately wanted to follow his son, this new and amazing human being.

She was touched by his thoughtfulness in offering to stay, but it was more important their son not be alone; she also knew her husband well enough to know his loyalties were divided at the moment. "Go. He needs you more than I do right now," she smiled. "He's alone, go with him."

He bent down and gave his wife a kiss, whispering, "You are amazing."

Sara was stitched back up and cleaned off. About half an hour later both Sara and Baby Boy Grissom were taken to the mother/baby unit with Gil following close behind. Sara held the little one next to her on the bed as her husband sat close by. Not a lot of words were spoken, they just enjoyed the quiet moments alone. They both thought, but neither said, how they had come so far from where they had started, but now the circle of their family was now complete and perfect.

Sara awkwardly nursed the baby for the first time. Thankfully, he seemed to take right to it. When he was done, the nurse took him for his first bath and his hearing test, which had Grissom a little worried. As it turned out, there was no need for concern because an hour later they were told the baby passed with flying colors.

When he was brought back, Gil picked him up from the crib, and rocked with him as Sara watched, amazed at how natural he looked with a baby in his arms.

"So, can we talk about a name yet?" He was talking to Sara, but couldn't take his eyes off of the miracle he held in his arms.

"Yes," she chuckled, "Any thoughts?"

He watched his son's subtle movements as he slept. "What about…Evan?

Sara thought for a moment and shook her head. "Jared?

"Mm," this time Gil shook his head. "Matthew?"

"Matthew Grissom," her face crinkled as she listened to herself say the name, "Matty Grissom," she paused, "Matt Grissom." The edges of her lips turned up as she looked back to father and son, "I like it."

"You do?" He was surprised at how easy the task had suddenly become.

"Yeah. Matthew it is." As if on command the tiny child began to stir and cry. "I think Mathew is hungry again." Gil helped position the baby so Sara would be comfortable while she nursed. He watched in awe. It amazed him how newborns knew exactly what to do to get their nourishment. Ten minutes later Matthew had fallen asleep, so Gil transported him back to the crib.

"Did you call Anya?" Sara asked once Mathew was settled.

"Yes, and if you're up to it, I'll go pick them up after Alex wakes from his nap so he can meet his brother." He smiled when his response was a yawn. He knew that she must be absolutely exhausted as well as sore. "That will give you a chance to rest while I'm gone."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," she wriggled a little trying to get comfortable, and was out in only a couple minutes.

After a short rest for himself, Gil went home to fetch Alex and Anya. He wasn't happy about leaving Sara alone, but she hardly stirred when he told her he was going. He checked on Matthew as well, but he, too, was out like a light.

Sara was well rested when she awoke to the sensation of a wet sloppy kiss on her forehead. "Mommy!" An eager Alex tried to jump on the bed with Sara.

Gil, laughing, caught him mid-leap, "Wait a minute." He swung his oldest son in a playful arc. "Remember we talked about how Mommy has an owie, so we have to be gentle with her?"

Alex's eyes widened as he looked back at his mother, "Sorry."

"That's okay, Sweetie," Sara reached out and gave him a hug, mindful of her stitches. "Are you ready to meet your brother?"

"I'm the big brother," Alex informed everyone.

"Yes, you are Alex, and Matthew is the little brother," Anya confirmed. She then turned to Sara, "He has been telling everyone he has seen that he is a big brother; random people at the park this morning, the mailman, the meter reader, even Gil," she laughed.

"Yes, but I must be special because he told me five times." He reached into the infant's bed and gently picked him up, still trying to get used to picking up and holding a newborn.

Sara was happy to hear of Alex's excitement. She gratefully accepted the little brother from her husband as Anya helped the big brother to sit on the edge of his mother's bed. "Alex, this is your brother Matthew."

Everyone waited for the three-year-old's response. "He's too small."

Anya smiled sweetly, Gil was surprised, and Sara tried to stifle a laugh.

"What do you mean he's too small?" His mother asked.

"I want to play with him, but he's smaller than my friends." Alex was completely serious.

"Well, Sweetie, he won't be this small forever. He'll grow, just like you did." She hoped he'd understand.

"Like me?" He was somewhere between shock and disgust.

"Yes, Alex. You were this small once, but you grew, and so will Matthew."

"Okay." Alex watched the baby for a minute, "When?"

"When what?" Gil asked.

"When will he grow?" All three adults laughed at the child's innocence.

"It will take time, but he will." Gil wasn't quite sure how to explain it beyond that.

"Alright, but he better hurry."

They spent the next half hour letting Alex get acquainted with his brother before Gil drove Alex and Anya home.

Sara had told him that he didn't need to come back, but he melted her heart when replied, "Sara, there's no place I'd rather be."

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The End  
(Epilog to Follow)_


	29. Epilogue

_**Running Away**_

_**Epilogue**_

Gil's warm arms wrapped around Sara and she leaned into his embrace. He could still smell the sweet pea scent left on her skin from the boys' baths earlier that evening. The room was dark with the exception of the flicker of the television screen.

It was only eight o'clock, but both were too tired to pay much attention to the History Channel program being aired about a massive earthquake in the Midwest during the nineteenth century. They were taking advantage of a rare opportunity to spend some quiet time alone, as both boys were sound asleep in their own rooms.

The ringing of the telephone suddenly shattered the peace. Sara immediately shot up, worried that the sound would wake someone, and darted across the floor stubbing her toe on the bouncer that was inadvertently left in the middle of the floor, "Shit," she spat as she hopped the last few feet to the phone catching it before the second ring. "Hello," her voice breathless.

Grissom watched as she listened to the person on the other end. After a moment, she held up a finger to him and turned to walk into the kitchen to talk. He was slightly more awake now and picked up the remote to flip through some channels stopping when a _Cheers_ rerun caught his eye. It was just ending when Sara strode back into the room. After setting the phone back on its cradle, she slipped back onto the couch next to her husband.

"Who was that?" His curiosity piqued.

"John." She paused to gauge his reaction, knowing he wasn't too sure about the other man.

"Oh yeah? What's he up to?" His voice was light.

"He got married." Her own surprise was reflected in her voice.

"Casey?"

"Yep," she added. "And suddenly."

"Is she pregnant?" He was being completely serious and not judgmental at all.

"No," she giggled slapping him playfully, and then paused thoughtfully before adding, "I don't think so."

He nodded, knowing there was more to the story.

"Well apparently they've been talking about it for awhile, but John's been dragging his feet." She shrugged.

"Why?"

"Well a few failed marriages have soured him on the concept." Her nose wrinkled slightly as she spoke.

"A few?" He questioned as he pulled her back to him and began rubbing her neck.

"More like four…"

"I see." His hands stopped their action momentarily as he took in this new information.

"But, he's dated Casey longer than the others. In the past he's…well, he's rushed into marriage." Suddenly she felt the need to defend her friend. "And for the most part, his relationships have seemed to go south sometime after the _I do's. _He wasn't ready for that with Casey."

"I see." He'd admit he was intrigued.

"Anyway, apparently there was a…disturbance at the courthouse, and long story short, she was held hostage for nearly two days."

His eyebrows furrowed as he realized that this wasn't going to be a funny story. "How is she?"

"She's fine. Shaken, but surviving." She cocked her head, remembering her own fear when she had been held against her will by a suspect and knew how scared Casey must have been.

Grissom gently laid his hand over Sara's as he watched the memory replay through her eyes. She shook her head, trying to get back on track. "So, John got a huge dose of the possibility of having to go on without her, and he spent most of those forty-eight hours unable to do anything, but wait for the creep who held her to surrender." She crossed her fingers in front of her. "He realized that he wanted to be with Casey for the rest of his life, and he proposed the night the standoff ended." She smiled brightly again.

"So when did they get married?" Both of his hands had returned to her neck and shoulders.

"Two nights ago." Her head bobbed up and down, "Neither wanted nor needed anything flashy, and neither wanted to bring too much attention to the fact that an Assistant District Attorney was marrying a Detective." She smiled an _'I know what that's like'_ smile. "They had a simple ceremony and…get this," her smile beamed, "They're going to take their honeymoon in Vegas."

"Really." He wasn't entirely surprised.

"Yep. Partially because they want to vacation far away from home and partially because they haven't seen me in a long time." She bit back a smile.

His hands paused once again. "Uh-huh," came the sarcastic reply.

"Oh and they want to see the kids as well." She playfully shrugged it off.

He patted her shoulders indicating the massage was over. "So when will they be here?"

"Friday; I asked them to Mattie's premiere party on Saturday." Grissom smiled at his wife; now that their youngest son was past the critical one month mark Sara was much more open to the idea of visitors and much less afraid of the germs said visitors would be bringing into the house.

* * *

The morning of the party, Sara was hard at work in the kitchen. She ran her knife through the pile of parsley before adding it to the salad. After turning to rinse the cutting board and knife, she quickly spun back around and began slicing up the eggplant and zucchini before adding them and the mushrooms to the marinade so they would have time to soak before going on the grill later. She had already cut up the watermelon and pineapple, and the corn on the cob was soaking. 

The only thing left was for Gil to prepare the chicken for the grill, but she was done. There was still time before their guests would arrive, but when you have a one-month-old baby, you don't take any free time for granted.

Mattie was napping, but Sara knew that he'd be waking up hungry any minute now. She made quick work of the dishes she had dirtied, and was nearly finished when the grainy cry came through the monitor sitting on the nearby counter. Rather than stopping, she just picked up the pace.

"Hey, it's alright," she heard her husband coo. "Daddy's here." She smiled as she continued to work to the sounds of the simple, yet sweet, conversation. Mattie continued to fuss though. Sara assumed from the rustling sounds that his diaper was being changed, and she said a silent _thank you_, because by that simple act, he had bought her enough time to finish the task at hand.

A minute later, she was done, and after draining the used water from the sink, she walked to the living room, where Alex was playing firefighter with his fire truck.

Gil came down the stairs with Mattie nestled in the crook of his arm, "I have someone for you."

Sara reached for the small package and took him back up the stairs to nurse in the quiet of her bedroom. It was a well-orchestrated dance that they had mastered over the last month.

While Sara went to care for Mattie, Gil had Alex help him get ready for the gathering planned for that afternoon.

The rest of the morning and early afternoon was a whirl of activity, but now it was getting to be time for everyone to arrive. Sara had just put Mattie down for a nap when the doorbell rang. She was about to reach the last step when Anya opened the door to a face she hadn't seen in a very long time.

"Detective Munch," she spoke firmly.

Without missing a beat, the tall, lean man replied, "Anya! I've missed you." He leaned in and gave her sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Anya was stunned for a second, but quickly recovered, shaking her head with a smile, "Come on in." She and Casey exchanged a kisses on the cheek as well.

"You're here!" Sara nearly squealed.

"Sara!" John smiled back. She went to greet them near the door and was immediately embraced by her friend. His arms felt so good, she hadn't felt their safety in so long. She swallowed the lump in her throat before they separated. She then gave Casey a hug as well. She normally wouldn't have greeted the other woman in that manner, but she figured she had just hugged the woman's husband, and she wanted to be just as welcoming with Casey.

"You two remember Gil?" She gestured to her husband who had just entered from the kitchen.

"Yes. Gil, it's good to see you again." John spoke as he shook the other man's hand.

"You too, and congratulations by the way." He then took Casey's hand as well. "Come on in."

"Yes, congratulations. I'm so happy for you," Sara added.

"Thank you." Both Casey's and John's smiles were hard to miss.

John looked to the stairs where Alex was balancing himself on the edge of the last step and hanging on to the banister. "Hi, Alex."

"Hi," his voice was soft as he looked over the tall man with the dark glasses. "Who are you?"

Sara and Casey both let out a snort, as John looked over to Sara. "You let him forget me?" He feigned hurt.

Sara licked her lips and walked over to Alex. "Sweetie, you remember John? He lived with us for a while in New York."

"No." He shook his head and walked over to his father.

"Well, Alex, this is John and his wife, Casey." Sara said after following Alex.

"Hi."

"Hi Alex, we brought something for you and something for your brother." Casey said as she handed Alex one of two packages.

Alex immediately tore into the wrapping, eventually revealing a rather large tyrannosaurus rex. His eyes grew wide as he tried to open the packaging. "Daddy can you help?"

Gil took the package from his son and using his pocketknife, carefully cut the half-dozen straps that held the dinosaur in place and handed the T-rex back to Alex.

Alex pushed a small button he had found towards the end of the tail. Suddenly the face lit up and the jaw opened releasing a _Rooooaaaar_ causing Alex to jump and the others chuckle.

Alex went around the circle of adults showing off his new dinosaur and its voice. After he had pushed the button only inches from his mom's face, she laughed with him and then whispered in his ear. "Alex, what do you say to John and Casey for the gift?"

"Thank you," he said loud and clear before taking off to find a couple of his other dinosaurs. A minute later, he returned and sat playing with them as the adults carried on the conversation.

"Sara, we brought this for Matthew." Casey handed the smaller wrapped box to Sara.

She accepted the box with a smile and carefully opened the wrapping. Her eyes sparkled when she saw what was inside. "How sweet," she held up a tiny tee shirt with _'I love New York'_ written across the front. "Thank you."

They fell into casual conversation for a few minutes before the bell alerted them to new arrivals. After initial greetings and introductions, the party moved to the backyard, and drinks and hors d'oeuvres were passed around.

The deck that connected the house to the grassy yard was only a few feet off the ground, but large enough to provide enough room, and shade thanks to the overhang and table umbrella, for all of their guests to be comfortable. They were surrounded by the lawn that had become Grissom's passion over the last year. It was important to him that his kids have a soft lawn to play on and explore. The sounds of bustling conversation, laughter, and the occasional dinosaur _roar_ rang through the yard.

Twenty minutes later the baby woke and as Gil had predicted, Catherine was the first to claim little Mattie, while Alex convinced Greg to play dinosaurs with him. Before long, Greg was the dinosaur chasing Alex around the swing set in the backyard.

Once the air filled with the smoky scent of barbeque, Sara stood, "I'll get the food from the kitchen." She told her husband.

"Need any help?" John stood from his spot on the bench looking over Casey's shoulder, as she held baby Matthew.

"You offering?" She smiled.

He shrugged and followed. They made their way to the kitchen, "Sara, I can't believe how much Mattie looks like Alex at that age."

"I know." John noticed the glow that seemed to emanate from Sara as she spoke of her kids. "I mean I thought there'd be some similarities, but it's uncanny."

"So how does Alex like sharing his mother?"

She handed John the cut up chicken, "You can carry this one," as she took the marinated vegetables and corn. "So far…he's a little iffy on it. He's not thrilled with not having one hundred percent of my attention all of the time, but he's also pretty protective. He tells us everything his brother does, even if I'm watching Matthew with him."

He listened intently, and then asked the question that he really needed to know the answer to. "How's Gil treating you?"

Moments like this reminded Sara of how much she missed John, and his big brother-like protective side. She turned and faced him, "It couldn't be better. Thank you." She turned back to make sure they had everything. "How is married life treating you?" The wide smile on his face answered her question. "Well, Casey is a lucky woman." She leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek, causing a slight blush on his pale skin.

He smiled as he pulled the sliding screen open and they set their dishes on the table. John went to check on Casey and to take a turn with the baby.

Sara joined Gil at the grill, "You bring the food for me?"

"Sure did, what do you want first?"

"Chicken."

"Here, just keep it away from the other food, please." She waved her hand towards the offending food.

"Honey, after all of the time we've been together I know better than to let your food touch mine." He sounded exasperated, but she knew he was actually teasing and she loved it. It was so wonderful to finally be so comfortable with the man she loved and know they really did fully understand each other.

As the hosts debated the location of the various foods on the grill, Jim took a seat next to John. "It's hard to remember your kids being that small and helpless."

John smiled, "That's what I keep hearing, but no personal experience."

"Really? With how comfortable you are with Alex that surprises me."

"Well, that was an unexpected situation that I will always be thankful for."

"From what I've heard, Sara's equally thankful for your help." Somehow, Jim felt better knowing this man had been there for Sara and Alex when they needed someone.

In an attempt to get on a less sentimental subject, John asked, "How many kids to you have?"

"Just one, and truth be told, I'd love to have her this age or even a little older again." Sadness crossed Jim's features.

John gave a sympathetic nod before looking out to the racing dinosaurs, "Would you like to hold Matthew?"

"Uh, it's been awhile…alright." After the slightly rocky transfer, Jim carried Mattie to the porch swing.

Gil added the various foods to the large grill, causing a slight hissing as each piece was exposed to the searing hot metal, and filling the air with appetizing aromas.

While the food cooked, Mattie began to fuss in Jim's arms. "You want to take him?" Jim asked as Sara sat next to him on the porch swing, swaying gently.

"Why? You're doing just fine." Sara smiled sweetly as she brushed her son's soft hair with her hand. Before long the baby settled.

"I haven't seen you in a while. How are you doing?" His voice was soft so as not to disturb the baby.

"I'm good, a little sleep deprived, but nothing major." She smiled.

The grizzled detective gave a snort of amusement. "Hon, I hate to break it to you, but you will never sleep well again." As Sara laughed in response, he thought about his next words, "I'm glad you two are so happy; these guys deserve a happy family." Sara followed Jim's eyes from Mattie in his arms to Alex who was running circles around the guys.

"Hold on, Hold on…" Greg began to wave his arms to stop the game. "Warrick, a T-rex wouldn't be able to grab him like that; their arms weren't made for that."

Warrick looked dumbfounded at Greg, "Hey man, it's just a game. Relax."

"Yeah, man; it's just a game," Alex echoed with a smile.

Nick could hardly contain the laughter, "Alright, Greg you be the T-rex then."

"I don't want to be the T-rex; I like being the triceratops."

"Hey guys," Alex took on his authoritative voice, but was ignored as the debate continued.

"Nick's right. If you don't like my tyrannosaurus rex, you do it and I'll be the triceratops," Warrick taunted.

"Hey guys." Alex's voice was louder this time. "It's just a game."

"Yeah, it's just a game to you and me, but these three seem to be pretty engrossed in it." John sat down beside him.

The argument continued in front of them, but now Alex's focus was elsewhere. "What's in-gross-ed?" He tried his best to repeat the word, but ended up adding extra syllables.

"Engrossed," John repeated slowly. "It means that they are really into the dinosaur game right now."

"Oh," he paused. "John, do you wanna get engrossed in the sand box with me?"

John chuckled, "I'd love to Alex."

Alex took John's hand and guided him towards the sandbox, but John quickly picked him up and flew him through the air as Alex giggled, leaving the other three to figure out exactly which dinosaur could do what.

Once at their destination, Alex immediately picked up two shovels and handed one to John. "Here, you can did up the bugs with this."

"What bugs?" John knew full well what Gil did for a living and after hearing some of Sara's stories, he wouldn't put it past the man to have a bug zoo in his back yard.

Alex quickly began to dig until he hit something, and then he reached down and whipped it out of the sand. "See!" He smiled proudly as he held upon oversized, plastic praying mantis.

"Oh," he breathed a sigh of relief. "I remember these guys," he reminisced as he dug up the ladybug.

"Why do you remember them?" Alex watched the man with dark glasses, waiting for a reply.

"Your daddy gave them to you when you lived in New York." He smiled as he recalled, "You and I would play with them for hours when your mom had to work late."

"Oh," was Alex's only reply.

After a few more minutes of digging up and burying the large bugs, Casey came over and sat on the red painted wood of the sandbox frame. "What are you two guys up to?"

Without missing a beat, Alex replied, "We're engrossed in sand."

Confused, Casey looked at John who returned her glance with a quick nod. Soon Casey was helping with the dig for bugs.

Sara took lemonade to Catherine, who was watching the argument between the guys finally die down. "Thanks." Catherine gratefully accepted the glass.

"So, that's John?" She gestured with her glass towards the sandbox.

"Yep, that's him." Sara leaned back in the lounger.

"He seems nice." She, too, leaned back in her chair. "His wife reminds me a little of you."

"Really?" Sara didn't see it.

"Yeah, she seems a little uncomfortable around everyone."

"Well, she's only ever met me before. Oh and Gil for maybe a minute." She defended. "You know this group can be a little…" She wasn't sure how to finish her sentence.

"Loud?" Catherine offered. Sara shook her head. "Overwhelming?"

"No, not really."

"Judgmental?"

"Well, some of us." She smiled shyly hoping not to have offended her friend.

"I could see how she would feel uncomfortable, but she does seem nice though."

"She is, and good for John."

They drank in silence for a while. Sara watching her son and friends play together, and Catherine watching Lindsey who was sitting in another chair talking on her cell phone. That is until she looked up to see her mother watching, "What?" Her voice dripping with annoyance.

Catherine shook her head and put her hands up defensively. Once Lindsey's eyes were off of her, she muttered, "Teenagers."

Sara heard her and couldn't help but laugh.

"Sure. Laugh now, but just you wait." She smirked, and then added, "You know, Alex is a great kid."

"You're preaching to the choir." Sara grinned.

"And Mattie is adorable." Sara nodded before taking a sip. Catherine continued. "You've made Gil very happy from what I've seen." Sara blushed slightly, not sure where this was going. "You've done good kid." She raised a glass and when Sara matched her move, they clinked their drinks.

"Thank you." Sara was impressed with the other woman's sincerity.

"Seriously," the blonde sobered, "I'm sorry for rushing to judgment when you came back. I can't imagine how much hurt he," she nodded towards Grissom, "would have gone through if you hadn't returned.

Sara wasn't sure what to say, but was saved when her husband beckoned. She reached over to Catherine's hand, which was laying on the armrest, and gave her fingers a little squeeze. She smiled and stood, making her way to the grill.

"How are you doing?" His voice was low, knowing she wouldn't appreciate him asking in front of the others.

"I'm fine." She assured him.

"You're not too tired?" His concern was touching.

"No," she shook her head.

"You sure?" He looked back down at the grill.

"Gil."

"Alright, then in that case, the food's almost done; can you get me something to put it on?" She playfully slapped him as she turned to go back into the house, emerging a minute later with a few serving platters.

They ate and laughed together as only old friends can, sharing stories and memories along with the meal. As the sun set, good-byes were said.

John and Casey went back to their hotel. Catherine, Nick, Warrick, and Jim went to work their shifts. Anya retired to her room for the night. Gil, who had the night off started on the clean up process as Sara put the boys down to bed.

Twenty minutes later, Sara joined her husband in the kitchen and before long, they were done.

"Do you want something to drink?" Sara offered as she stood in front of the open fridge.

"Iced tea sounds good."

Sara poured two glasses before following him to the back deck. She found him spreading a blanket on the grass and moved to the top step, wondering what he was doing.

As if he was reading her mind, he looked up at that moment. "I thought we could sit under the stars tonight."

She set the glasses on the table so she could turn off the back light before picking up the drinks again and joining her husband. They both took a seat on the blanket, next to each other. "You know what this reminds me of?" Sara asked.

"Our first date?" His eyebrows shot up; he knew what he was doing.

"God, that was so long ago." She shook her head in disbelief.

"We've come a long way."

"That we have." She smiled and he couldn't resist capturing her lips with his. Before long, the kiss had deepened, but the barking dog on the other side of the fence interrupted their actions. Sara sighed, resting her forehead against his, both of them panting slightly from arousal. "You know we still have two weeks to wait."

"Arggg, I don't know if I can wait another two days, let alone two weeks." He pulled her into another kiss, but this time something else stopped them cold.

"Mommy, Mattie's crying." Alex stood at the back door.

"Did he wake you, honey? I'm sorry." Sara stood and made her way to the house.

"No, I wasn't engrossed in sleeping." He proudly announced. Sara paused for a moment, confused at her son's choice of words.

"Come here, son," Gil called, and Alex joined him on the blanket.

Once inside, Sara found a screaming Matthew in his crib. She picked him up, inhaling the powder fresh scent and nestling him on her shoulder, and almost immediately, he let out a burp. She lowered him down and cradled him in her arms, "So that was the problem." She thought about laying him back down, but after looking out the window and seeing Gil point out stars to his oldest son, she decided to take Matthew out as well. He was already in a warm sleeper, but she grabbed a blanket for each child anyway.

A minute later, she was handing Alex's blanket to Gil, who covered the child who looked up to the brightly lit sky from the safety of his father's lap. Sara sat next to them, wrapping another blanket around Mattie's little body.

The family spent that night together under the stars, marveling at the wonders of the Universe, secure in the knowledge that their world was safe and complete, filled with love.

_

* * *

_

_I'm sad this journey is over, but I'm so happy that you all have taken it with me. I cannot thank you enough for the support and reviews I've received over the last several months. _

_My undying gratitude goes out to **Mingsmommy** and **Smacky30** for all of their time (oh, so much time) and talent that they unselfishly gave. Thank you both so very much. _


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